As much as I hate to admit it, I need you right now. No one else knows what to say when I cry. No one else could name my favorite everything just for fun. No one else can kiss me the way you can. No one else can hurt me the way you did.

When did I go wrong? I thought you loved me. You promised me you loved me. You said you’d love me forever, and that you’d never leave me. So what happened? Everything is a blur. The party, that girl…

I’m so sorry. So, so very sorry. I didn’t mean what I said to you. I was mad. I know that she kissed you. I know you loved me with all your heart. I know that now. But it’s too late, isn’t it? You’re gone, and I’ll never get the chance to take it back.

I would have loved you forever. I was wrong. No one else will ever hold me the way you did. No one else with whisper I love you with the same tenderness that you did. No one else will bother to wipe away my tears. No one else will ever love me, because I won’t let them in. I can’t. I’m still in love with you. I’ll always be in love with you, no matter what I said or what you think.

The last words I ever said to you are echoing in my mind, and it’s driving me insane. Everything I do reminds me of you. Everything I say somehow drags up a memory of your laugh, your smile, your sweet kiss.

Your funeral was today. Head-on collision. A hit and run. Does that person know that they not only killed you, they killed me? Who am I without you? We’ve been best friends forever, so how can I move on? That night under the stars, when you told me you loved me for the first time… I’ll never forget it. I’ll never forget you.

That’s what I’m thinking of now. I don’t know what made me do it. The knife is lying mostly forgotten on the floor. Blood is everywhere, but I don’t really care. No one can ever be you. No one will ever make me forget you. No one will ever alleviate the guilt of that night, when I told you that I hated you, that I could do so much better, that you didn’t deserve me. You stood there and took it. You said “I know.” I was so, so wrong. You deserved me – it was me who didn’t deserve you. And then you were gone, torn from my life forever.

Maybe now, I can finally tell you what you mean to me. Maybe now, you’ll know that I’ll love no one but you.