Letter to Him | Teen Ink

Letter to Him

May 21, 2013
By Anonymous

Dear Him,

I will always love you, but lately you have been not yourself. The feelings I am expressing in this letter and feelings that have been on my mind for quiet sometime and I am just now saying how I feel. You are a great boyfriend and I do love you with all of my heart, but you can’t have me and her. I know she is a big part of your life and I could never make you choose between us because I would lose every time. I know you two are close I mean Kindergarten is a long time to know someone, but the closeness between you guys is unsettling and it hurts sometimes. I don’t care if you hang and spend time with her, but I don’t like it when you lie to me about it. When I ask you to hang out instead of saying you’re with Craig, just say I am hanging out with Samantha instead. It will hurt my feelings of course, but not as much as a lie. The sleep over thing is also an issue because I don’t care how close you are having a sleep over with someone of the opposite sex is not ok. I could never talk to you about it because I get my feelings shot down and I get lecture about how innocent it is. I don’t care! It hurts my feelings and it makes me feel bad. It hurts me to see how close you guys are. You two are always going to have a closeness that I am never going to understand. All the inside jokes, fun adventures, and amazing memories take a toll on my self-esteem because you just seem like you have so much fun with her and you never say if you have fun with me or not. And another thing you lack the type of emotion that I am craving. I know you love me, but it isn’t enough to just say it. I want you to show me and not just with hugs and kisses, but with other actions and words. I am not asking for a lot, but I just want to know I am the most important person in your life next to any family member. I don’t wanna be your number one girl; I wanna be your only girl. I don’t like sharing you especially not with Samantha.

Samantha is nice to me. She has never done anything mean or nasty to me. I have no reason to hate her, and I don’t hate her. I hate how you act when you’re around her. It’s like you are this totally different person. The way you act, the things you say, your personality is all different. I can’t take it anymore. I just want the guy I fell in love with back. Where is that guy? It hasn’t been the same not for a long time and I don’t know when you and I changed, but it’s different. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am broken and sad and hurt. Even when we are together… just us, it’s not the same. All you ever wanna do is watch movies and make out. To me that isn’t a relationship… it’s more like friends with benefits. You never ask me how I am doing and when I’m upset you just avoid me instead of trying to make me feel better. I know I have had a pretty messed up life, and I am used to people leaving me. So if you have to leave me too then so be it, but quit lying to me, quit avoiding me, and quit being a jerk to me when Samantha and your other friends are around because I am sick of it. This is nothing like I thought it would be and I am done. I don’t understand why I still love you when I should hate you. I should hate you with all of my heart, but instead I love you. Well I guess this is goodbye. I hope wherever you end up you always think of me and remember how much I loved you and the hell you put me through.

Love,


Her <3



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