It’s over. Really truly over.
I keep on telling myself this but here I am crying my heart out, again.
I guess I should start by explaining him. Ethan. I loved him I really did but I don’t think I knew it until after when it was too late. He was the one who kept me up every night with giddy thoughts and butterflies in my stomach. He was the one who gave me unconditional love, who thought I could do no wrong, the one who loves me the most. But I broke that into a million tiny pieces, like a glass vase filled with love. I smashed it and let it bleed out on the glittering sharp pieces.
Now all I want to do is fix it. So I sit and reach for all the pieces, the misty memories and try to piece them together again. I end up cutting myself with each new piece, and more often than not it falls apart again. But I still keep trying and trying.
Deep down I think I know that it’s not really worth it, but don’t tell anyone because if anyone else knew I wouldn’t be able to pretend. And if I pretend long enough, wish hard enough, then maybe it will become true and I can fix it.