She promised herself that she wouldn’t speak to him. Not that he seemed like a bad guy. She just didn’t want to be that girl who talked to new people. As much as she would’ve loved to be outgoing and friendly, her intentions always died with cold glares. She never means to glare, but she always does.

After a month, he’d already made his friends and she wasn’t one of them. A part of her was glad she wasn’t friends with him but another part of her wondered what he was like. Not that she fantasized about him. She only wondered what kind of person he was. He was from California and she always wanted to move to California, the state where the beaches lived.

Monica had friends but she chose the ones she liked and stacked away the ones she didn’t need until winter.

It was dinner time and everyone was already sitting at their own tables, with their secluded social circles. You’d think a church wouldn’t be like this, but this one was and so was every other church she’d ever gone to. She took a seat at the least crowded table. Everywhere else was full.

He was sitting there, though she didn’t know. And if you told her he’d ask for her number in a few hours, she wouldn’t have believed you.

(FOUR MONTHS LATER)


She’d been gone for two months and the boy who’d asked for her number, the boy named Dalton... she hadn’t spoken to him for the same amount of time she was gone. Though, that was her intentions. She promised herself that she wouldn’t ever talk to him again. She had no reason too and at that point, his feelings were only a bother to her.

But at the exact same time, she still felt that pull.

And if she wasn’t denying their chemistry, she’d know that he felt that too. But it was too late for them. It’s been two months of ignoring and cheek turning. There’s no way that after two months of that, that he could still like her. Now, she realized what a jerk she’d been, but she couldn’t bring to her him why. Because that would involve admitting that she liked him in the first place.

Yes, Dalton still liked her. Yes, he felt that pull.

But then again, Dalton liked a lot of girls.

And he felt more than one pull. Though Monica had convinced herself that there’s no way they could date or be together and the only relationship they had a shot with was being friends, somewhere in her heart, where she wasn’t denying him, she secretly wished that, the pull for her was stronger than the other girls.

(TWO MONTHS LATER)


The way Roland looked at her was different than how Dalton looked at her. And the funny thing was that they were best friends and the even funnier thing was that Roland was Monica’s best friend’s ex. Though she suppose he didn’t really count as her friend’s ex because he dated her friend in middle school. And we all know how those relationships go.

And for the first time since Dalton, she felt like she found someone special. But unlike Dalton, he understood her in a way that most people hadn’t. And she knew him better than he had known himself.

He had bought her sweets.

And visited her at the library after school at least once a week.

He brought her sweet treats specifically for her.

And unlike Dalton, he texted her sweet things that made her heart flutter. But despite all this, she still had eyes for Dalton.

(FIVE MONTHS LATER)


She’s told him.

Her phone beeped, but she was too afraid to pick it up again. Because she knew that in the message he’d sent her, she would be looking at a rejection.

(TWO MONTHS LATER)


In the group, they were all laughing and sipping ramen, but the two of them were off to the side. And he was laughing at her because she was yelling at him, hitting him. It was funny because her voice wailed like a dying sea-lion and he was strong. Her flimsy throws felt like nothing to him.

And for the first time in a long time, she felt okay talking to him. Hours later, she would realize that some feelings still remained. Feelings she didn’t think were real but it would become clear that they were very, very real.

(THREE MONTHS LATER)


He was staring at her.

She smiled back, her cheeks flushing.

And Dalton watched them, wishing the pull between him and Monica had been stronger.