What can happen in a minute? You can take five breathes, you can do something crazy that might just change your life forever, you can tell someone they are beautiful and important. You can watch someone you love take their first or last breathe, or you can relive your heartbreak. I thought about this as I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the next volunteer, however I never expected the last to happen and that was possibly what made it hurt the most.

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I looked at him from where he sat, shock flickering across my face and I was taken back to the day when we said goodbye. We both walked and walked and I in any case cried as I walked, hoping they would run out by the time that I got to him. So he would still think I wanted this, that I truly did not believe we belonged together. I walked for days thinking only of him. I pushed through the night. I had to get to him. Suddenly all I could think was, 'If this is to be the last then so be, it but I will spend as much time with him as I possibly can'. I started to run, hearing my heart pounding in time with my footsteps as I pushed past random tourists desperate to see his face. And then I did, his green eyes, dark skin and hair came into view as I got closer, finally I reached him. And there was nothing more important than that. Until I then remembered what we were doing and why and I stopped suddenly. Thinking of what we were doing and why. We met each other after coming from opposite ends of the Great Wall of China to reach one another. A secret symbol for our love that he would never understand. That I would cross any distant to get to him that I loved him that much but....he didn't understand that and probably never would.

He wrapped his strong arms around me and held me close, he didn't bother to ask and I couldn't bear to say, so we stood there wrapped in each others arms. I was finally where I belonged, in his loving embrace. Not saying a word. I breathed in his scent the one I loved, trying to forever commit it to my memory. I didn't want this to be goodbye. I didn't want this to be the end. But I had no choice. He wanted things that I could never give him and I wanted things that he could never understand, like this walk. I don't know how long we stood there like that of how many tourists stared us or perhaps snapped a picture of our private moment in time. Finally, I couldn't bear it anymore, I had to see his face, if this was going to be the last time then I wanted to spend as much of it looking at him as I could. He was looking down at me. "So this is it then?" He asked, and I thought my heart would break at hearing those words so slowly I nodded. My throat constricted in pain at the thought of never being his again. But this was, is the only way to make him happy.....at least in the end anyway. So this is what I had to do. Why did I have to be such a good person? Why could I not just be selfish like everyone else. For once in my life, I just wanted to completely self centered and stay this happy. But I could not, it is not in my nature so instead I bit back my tears knowing he hated to see me cry, besides I didn't want his last memory of me to be me with puffy eyes. Swallowed down my pain and thought only of him. Not tomorrow, not when he would leave and never come back, just this, right now, him and me...forever. He cupped my chin forcing me to look up at him, I winced when I saw the pain in his eyes and reminded myself I was doing this for him. Besides if he wanted me to stay he wouldn't let me leave, and I knew he would let me go as if I meant nothing, that's what made this all the more painful. Before I could do or say anything to stop him, his lips met mine in the most bittersweet kiss I have ever had and that is likely even possible or imaginable. His familiar scent surrounded me and I thought I would forget to breathe as I clung to him desperately returning his kiss. The feel of his lips moving with mine was so familiar, so right. How could I let him go when we fit so perfectly together like this? He pulled away all too soon turned without another word and started his trek back. I watched and waited praying for him to look back show some sign that he wanted me to stay. Waiting for him to come back to me and beg or force me to stay, telling me this whole idea was stupid because we belonged together. I would have run to him and never let him go if he had even just looked back. I waited and waited even after I could see him no more, watching for him to look back. But he never did and just like that...gone. I never saw him again.

I felt tears prick at the memory as I stared into those familiar green eyes and was jolted back to reality. He was here, with me, so close, only a table stood between us. I wondered how much time had passed since I had gotten stuck in my memories. I couldn't help but wonder what he had been doing with his life, wonder if he had ever thought of me like I thought of him. Everyday for the past twenty years I thought of him. He inclined his head and looked away before looking back at me as if asking me to come with him. I desperately wanted to believe that he wanted me again. That even though it had been twenty long lonely years ago, that he still loved me. But, there was no proof of that and I couldn't survive being with him only to discover he didn't love me and be forced to say goodbye yet again, so instead of saying anything I leaned across the table holding my hands out for him. He sighed and almost chuckled as if expecting this. For a second I thought he would reject my gesture, but then at the last minute he leaned forward too and took my hands in his. A thousand emotions flew through me at his touch, but I couldn't say anything that was part of the deal. So instead I smiled as the tears fell from my face, I heard people cheering but I didn't care about them. All that mattered was he was here with me even if only for a minute. And then that minute ended. And he got up, and I watched him walk away from me for the second time in my life, knowing this time it really would be the last.