As I look out the window I think of you. How we used to be together. Watching the raindrops fall, I feel an overwhelming sensation and it seemed as if someone shoved a gag ball down my throat, leaving me breathless and choking. Tears weren’t falling down yet, I wouldn’t let them ! Memories kept invading my mind, even when I tried so hard to stop it. “You’re honestly what takes up most of my mind. I always seem as if I’m stuck in a daze.” I thought as my body trembled with emotion. Quaking like a leaf I was. A memory of us running around as kids flashed across my eyes, sending me into a teary frenzy. The rain was still pouring down, and harder than ever. It was as if the rain and my tears were in sync. As if he was crying with me. The thought made me drop to my knees, crying. It was as if a waterfall was coming out of my eyes. The rain kept on drumming as I think of the first time we kissed. I burry my head between my knees, pressing them into my temples. My crying doesn’t subside. In fact I started to cry harder. The feeling of his lips on mine made my lips tingle with sweet anticipation. “ I CAN’T believe that you’re gone!! You were swept away from me faster than the wind could blow !” This thought kept repeating itself on and on in my head, causing me to rock myself to and fro. These memories are corrupting my soul, sending me to a forbidden place. A place so dark that you couldn’t see a damn thing. There was no ray of sunshine to come through and light the way. Just absolute darkness. I fight till I’m weak. Till there are no more tear to be shed. Just when I think I’m done crying, the tears start up again. Thoughts of you jamming out to Pearl Jam come into my head. Our dads playing guitar together and you learning from them are apart of those thoughts and it makes my body tremble. I’ve never felt this sad in my life except that day I had to look over you casket.