“Laughing so hard you cry brings an odd warmth. It feels as if a campfire blazes in your soul while loved ones tell stories and toast marshmallows. You struggle to breathe, yet you aren’t so desperate for the sensation to end. Although you may be in tears, you are experiencing the exact opposite of sadness. Rather than a consuming sense of hopelessness, you are able to envision a bright future where laughter is always present. It becomes as if every part of your body is laughing. Your eyes are pouring out laughter, your stomach is in peaceful pain with laughter, your mouth is showcasing your laughter. And now, thanks to our new product, you can experience this feeling at any time, anywhere.” 

This was the tagline behind the Laughing Blanket 2000, an invention that would seem to benefit many after its introduction to the global market in the spring of 2025. Essentially, the fibers within this blanket would vibrate at a set speed controlled by the owner using a small dial stitched into the side of its fabric. Its vibrations would cause a tickling sensation, making the user laugh. Looking at the conclusions of the world’s best scientists of the time, it was determined that laughter had a positive effect on a person’s body heat. By using the Laughing Blanket 2000, not only could a person improve their mood, but they could feel a greater percent of coziness than traditional blankets. However, the events surrounding Daniel Lawfton in 2026 would deter the hopes of the Laughing Blanket 2000 and company, dragging the corporation’s image through the mud. 

Daniel Lawfton had just gone through a messy divorce. The mess didn’t necessarily come from the arguments had or the possessions lost in the ordeal, but from the fact that Daniel was still in love with his former spouse. This was corroborated by his mother, who we recently interviewed.

“When he was married back in 2014, Daniel became the happiest and best version of himself I had ever seen, so you can imagine the toll it took on him when he was forced to leave the love of his life.” 

Mrs. Lawfton told us that it was not Daniel who had initiated the divorce, on the contrary, she believes he never wanted one at all. But after hearing his former spouse confess that they loved another, it was the only reasonable option for Daniel to pursue. In that winter of 2025, as advertisements for Christmas gifts filled up Daniel’s television screen, friends and family claim that he seemed particularly drawn to the Laughing Blanket 2000. They also recall that in the time since his divorce, Daniel had not only felt miserable and alone, but his heater had begun malfunctioning. Characteristically introverted, Daniel likely believed that calling a handyman was much less preferable to purchasing a blanket. In the opinion of his friend Marissa, who had spent Christmas with Daniel, he seemed especially eager to open the gift containing the Laughing Blanket 2000. 

“He ripped open that box like an animal. Inside was the blanket and also an instruction manual, but I don’t recall seeing any warning or anything advising caution. That still frustrates me when I think about it.” 

She and Daniel didn’t notice, but in small, delicate typing at the bottom of the last page, a warning was placed. Later, the size and font used in this notice would be a key topic in the debates surrounding the issues of the Laughing Blanket 2000.

As winter turned into spring, friends and family note that Daniel began spending more nights alone, cuddled into his Laughing Blanket 2000. According to his journal, (which we were given permission to use), at first Daniel’s body welcomed the warming mechanisms of the blanket as well as the laughter it forced him to produce, but as the weeks went on, he could hardly feel it working. One evening, looking at the dial on his blanket, Daniel turned up the vibration level one notch. This achieved the effect he was hoping for: the Laughing Blanket 2000’s sweet warmth returned to his welcoming arms. Daniel wrote how that night was spent more joyfully than any other since the divorce, however, after only two weeks, the heat had dissipated once more. Through the beginning of the year, Daniel found himself turning the dial up more frequently to achieve the blanket’s initial effects. This trend seemingly continued, with Daniel inching closer and closer to the last notch on the blanket’s dial, until March of that year.

On that fateful afternoon, Daniel’s boss Mrs. Garrison told us that, 

“Daniel had been allowed to leave the office early after contracting a severe headache”. 

It is assumed by experts that he looked to relax with his trusty blanket, but that unfortunately, as he settled into bed and turned on the device, no laugh issued from his lips. At this, Daniel flipped the switch over to the highest notch, proving to be his undoing. After details of Daniel’s death were released, scientists have looked to recreate the incident using AI and the Laughing Blanket 2000. We spoke to Dr. Hammon from Columbia University who underwent an experiment to test the effects of the Laughing Blanket 2000. He described the gruesome results to us. 

“A shrill laugh came from the mannequin which we had equipped with AI, then another, then another, each accompanied by a sharp pain in the mannequin’s abdomen which we monitored on two separate computers. It was almost as if the mannequin was being burned, the laughs forced its stomach to writhe away from the blanket’s touch, and then return with every new breath. Then we noticed that the mannequin began to gasp for air as if the walls of its lungs had collapsed onto themselves. But the important detail is that, throughout all of this, the mannequin couldn’t stop laughing. At this point the temperature must have been unbearable, for the mannequin’s fibrous skin was a bright shade of red, looking as if it were on fire. Eventually the AI refused to take any more breaths. We believe that the last thing Daniel must have experienced was death’s flaming hot arms wrapping themselves around him in the form of a fluffy blanket. At the moment, we are undergoing more tests to try and corroborate our results, but we believe this could be incriminating against Laughing Blanket 2000 and company.”

Since the infamous Daniel Lawfton incident, the corporation behind the Laughing Blanket 2000 has recalled its earlier product. Making adjustments to its design and including more descriptive safety protocols in its manual, they have introduced the Laughing Blanket 3000, which can be purchased at many local retailers. The creators of the Laughing Blanket 2000 have also pledged to donate 50% of their profits made from selling the original device to organizations supporting mental health. In addition, Daniel’s family has sued the company in a case that is still ongoing. To this day, the question remains whether or not Daniel’s untimely demise was a result of the company’s negligence, or if it was a matter of loved ones not recognizing the signs of his depression. We reached out to the company who created the Laughing Blanket 2000, but they declined to comment.