1/12/20

Today was the day I heard of you. Rumors of you spread like wildfire around the bookstore. How you gracefully scanned the books with your fingers, tracing the gold indents of the history section, and how your eyes widened at the one you were looking for. Those who saw you firsthand were blessed, they say. I was one of the many unlucky, I suppose. I’ve never been too lucky. My life seems to be a story that is a never-ending circle. It always ends in tragedy. Alas, I hope there is one day you venture over to me. I would love to meet you. Although, I’m not sure you would like to meet me. I’m never the most liked. I’ve always been hated. I can’t say the same about you, it appears. At least in this bookstore.

2/14/20

You came here again today. You ventured around with red eyes, wishfully looking for something to calm you. I’ve heard it was a breakup, a rejection, or even a death. No matter what, I can't help but feel the urge to hold you. I wish to tell you that no matter how distraught things get, it can get better (at least for you). I still have yet to see you. Your tear-filled eyes stuck to the romance today. I’ve never been too big for romance myself, especially cliches, but you rented The Notebook today and for once I have the urge to read it myself. I know I’ll never get the chance, but maybe in another world. 

3/15/20

Three months in a row and I still have yet to see your face. All I have are whispers from those around me of the beauty that visits the shop. How I long to see you. I’m not sure what has gotten into me, being honest. My life has always been filled with rage and depression, for once I have something (someone) to look forward to. I wouldn’t be surprised if you never pick me. Not many ever do. Perhaps one day we could bond over the ethereal worlds of fiction and escape our realities together. 

4/10/20

Today I got a glimpse of you. And dear lord, I almost fainted. The weather has warmed so only bits and pieces of your skin showed, and I almost felt you. You quickly walked through the aisle I stay in, nearly brushing past me. You already had a book in hand, going over to sit and read. I’m confused. I wish I could talk to you, hold you, dare I say, kiss you. You’ve been appearing in my dreams. I feel sick but goodness I hope it’s chronic. I don’t think I have a choice in the matter, but for once I want you to choose me.

5/4/20

You came in with friends today. Your laugh is contagious. It’s the most beautiful noise I’ve ever been blessed to hear. I thought you would never come over to me, but a companion of yours came over. I’ve met them countless times before, and I wanted to thank them but lost my breath. You looked at me. You chose me. God, I was so worried. Your friend is the only other person besides the shop owner to like me, but now. Now you do too. I’m impressed, really. I don’t know if it was a mistake on your part or mine, or perhaps your friend’s for introducing us. 

6/17/20

I’ve been painfully lonely lately. I’ve been at your home, I've slept in your room, but I still don’t know anything about you while you know everything about me. You sympathize with me, care for me, but not the way I do for you. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance to see you again, as you’ve never chosen the same before. You pain me. Moving on every month, while you’re all I’ve ever known. 

7/28/20

You went on a trip. You came back with a little sunburn and tan marks. Even a souvenir shirt with a turtle logo on it. I’m not sure where you went as I’ve never traveled much, but I hope one day you’d take me with you. I don’t care where we go as long as I’m by your side. I’ve come to terms with my feelings. You burn me from the inside, but I never want to be extinguished. I don’t know about you, but chances are you don’t feel the same. I just want one more time to see you again, even if I can’t tell you how I feel.

8/11/20

Today you took me home again. We stayed up all night, and I told you stories over and over again. You never seem to get over mine, don’t you? Everyone I’ve met has cast me aside into the dark but you… You hold me and comfort me. I don’t express much, I’m never meant to. Yet you still are able to read me, like a book. If only you could understand my love for you.

9/7/20

You’ve drawn me. I’ll say, the graphite and charcoal works are impressive. People compliment you on the art, but not me. I’ve been told that our love is unrealistic and false. Your friends have told you the same. Sometimes, I wonder, am I even real? Are you real? When I wake up all I can do is await your touch, but it still feels as if there is a barrier between us. Nothing resolves as the month comes to an end. You look solemn when I leave, making me think it is possible for you to feel for me.

10/15/20

You’ve begun another year at university. I’ve dreaded this time coming, knowing you’ll be away from me for hours at a time. You peer your nose in others, digging research out of them for classes. I’ve been told I’m quick to anger, but how can I help it? Even if we’re not in a relationship, our love is as real as you are. I cannot convince you to leave the others. You say they help you, but I’m not blind. Do I bore you?

11/10/20

Your birthday has come. Today I was going to spend the day with you, alone together. Instead, your friends took you out. I’m starting to dislike them more and more each day. I crave you, yet you seem to be naive. At night I spend hours on the floor. How I wish we could do more. You tell me how you wish to love with your whole heart spilling over, and I try to say you are lucky for not loving so. I have loved you for months, my heart spilling so much I’ve become anemic. 

12/14/20

Our library is moving, and along with it, I go. You ask and beg where, crying how you’ll never find the same. I wish I could stay. I wish you would forget your life and join mine, but I could never let you. I can only hope for you to travel and see me, but even I know fantasy from fact. Your tears drip onto me, staining fabric. With regret I am packed, leaving you to wander. If only I could tell you that my longing will fade, but it will not. I know the burning, pitiful tore in me will forever stay, I hope yours will too. 

I might be just another character in your stories, but I’m your biggest fan. 

Sincerely, Vladimir from The Tales of a Hero and Villain by Jason Tuberry