The Life of a Radio Wave | Teen Ink

The Life of a Radio Wave

March 31, 2024
By HenryBillinghurst GOLD, Breckenridge, Colorado
HenryBillinghurst GOLD, Breckenridge, Colorado
11 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Know Thyself" - Thales of Miletus (attributed)


About sixty million years into the existence of the universe a single electron decided to oscillate into the magnetic field of another. This birthed both myself and a large quantity of radio waves, most of which, disappointed in the universe, died out. I found the emptiness unpromising but, the stronger of my brethren, decided to stick around. 

I spent 10.567 billion years traversing the universe in search of easing my boredom, but only found slug-like aliens dining on chemical soups and a few lightning storms. Eventually, I found the Earth and its primordial ancestors. Being a radio wave, I could not commune with the creatures, but rather detect through the muffled ear of an interdimensional wall their comings and goings; these were, of course, very uninteresting and largely consisted of eating. Still, with hope for the future of your planet I decided to sleep in my one-dimensional intercosmic bedroom until a new species could sufficiently entertain me. 

It was just a mere 3.21 billion years later that I was awakened by a scientist named Guglielmo Marconi and his long-distance radio research. Notwithstanding my contempt for Marconi, through observation I came to appreciate your species. When you warred with each other it was especially amusing, and I will admit there were many times when I wiped away an electric tear in laughter at the impassioned speech of some corrupt politician. Indeed, with so many millennia of extreme boredom, I soon began to desire not just to observe, but perhaps to engage with your species.  

Forty years ago I approached a Sony receiver in the bedroom of a small Illinoisian child and politely asked through his Polk speakers if I might speak to an adult. This gave him a start and, wonderful tattletale he was, he ran to tell his mother of the monster in his speakers; when she verified the discovery she called the police for some odd reason, and after various investigations I was put under the microscope of a group of unscrupulous scientists. 

Their own interests, I eventually realized, were not in procuring a method by which I might experience the lives of men, but rather in figuring out what I exactly was. I decided to lodge myself in the hearing aid of one of the younger scientists to demand my release more loudly. This I accomplished but, incidentally, I was so loud that I caused several thousand volts of electricity to course through his brain. This killed the lad, but permitted my usurpation of his mind and I soon resurrected in his body. I left the room for a smoke break and never returned.

Victorious, I have spent these past four decades on the Amalfi Coast attempting to enact revenge on the family of Marconi. I am very content, and although I find it unpleasant to have to bear such human burdens as itches (a radio wave does not have these, as you must understand), I would say that all electromagnetic radiation should venture to experience such human pleasures as relieving the aforementioned itches.


The author's comments:

Wrote this as part of my English class. Thought it would be a fun endeavour and not to be taken too seriously in the production of good literature. Many thanks to y'all!


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