A Evil | Teen Ink

A Evil

May 11, 2010
By xxtrident13xx SILVER, Dexter, Michigan
xxtrident13xx SILVER, Dexter, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 8 comments

The next time you have a hoard of vampires after you let’s see you do different. My name is Salem. I live in Salem, Massachusetts. Yeah that’s right, the place with the Witch Trials. Because of who I am, I can never live a normal life. I am Death.
Actually, I am the son of death. This means my dad is the Grim Reaper. You probably won’t be surprised to find out that death follows me. A lot of people who I get close to die. My mom for example. I currently, live in a run down and spooky house with my half brother. The house is old, vines crawl up it and we don’t have neighbors. It gets kind of lonely.
I am outside, sharpening wooden stakes. My other half brother, Toby just had left after warning me that a dreaded vampire clan was after me.
One more thing. The Grim Reaper can only have three living kids at once. The three kids inherit the Grim Reaper’s three powers, Mana, Aura, and Soul. Everyone has soul, even mortals. The oldest of the three gets Mana and Aura, which together is very powerful. The middle child, that’s Toby, gets just Mana, which is powerful but not as powerful as Mana and Aura. The youngest, which is me, is gets just Aura which alone is useless. So to make up for my lack of powers I practice magic. White magic to be exact.
I hear a hiss and jump to my feet. A split second later vampires surround me. I raise my wooden stakes. The first two vampires leap at me. I swing my stakes, and they slide into the dirt, dead. A third monster snarles then pounces. His claws pin me to the ground. His pale and bat like face is only inches from mine. I can see his fangs hanging in his mouth. Normally, the sunlight would burn him, but we've been having a large amount of storms lately and the sun is never out.
I kick him off of me then pin him to the ground with one of my stakes. The last one catches me off guard and pins me to the ground. Just before he can sink his teeth into my throat, he combusts there on the spot. I kick him off. He runs away crying.
I whirl around to see Markus. He is the oldest of the trio. "Markus, what are you doing here?" I ask him. He smiles. "What? No thank you brother for saving my life? Chivalry has died."
"I could have handled it." I say trying to keep my reputation.
He continues, "I'm here to give you the news."
"What news?"
"It's Dad Salem, he was vanquished."

I almost scream. It can't be possible.
"The Grim Reaper is dead."

The author's comments:
This is the first part of a story I'm writing called Evil.

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This article has 5 comments.


on Jun. 11 2010 at 12:34 pm
xxtrident13xx SILVER, Dexter, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 8 comments
read on to find out

_Mags_ SILVER said...
on Jun. 10 2010 at 11:12 pm
_Mags_ SILVER, Somewhere, North Carolina
9 articles 7 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
- I stare danger in the face and giggle<br /> - Never argue with an idiot, people might not know the difference<br /> -R.A.P (Retards Attempting Poetry)<br /> -Tip Cologne ryhmes with alone

I liked it. wait how can the grim reaper die inless he comites suicide? - haha sorry

on May. 26 2010 at 5:13 pm
HeraclitusDRM SILVER, Sewell, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;For a man to conquer himself is the first and noblest of all victories.&quot; -Plato

I understand. I just wanted to let you know I see a great deal of potential in this piece. If you reordered some of the punctuation, it would better communicate your message to the reader. Just a suggestion.

on May. 24 2010 at 12:06 pm
xxtrident13xx SILVER, Dexter, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 8 comments
This just an Idea I was trying to get out I havent edited or revised it at all

on May. 23 2010 at 10:49 am
HeraclitusDRM SILVER, Sewell, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;For a man to conquer himself is the first and noblest of all victories.&quot; -Plato

There are some major grammatical issues with this piece. There a number of places where some commas and quotation marks would do a lot for the piece's comprehension. You have a very appealing concept here, and if you paid more mind to punctuation, this could be a very dramatic and exciting piece.