Monday I came back to no Christen, but a few very easy classes. It was the day before the state tests so all the teachers were laid back, and the students I should say were wound up like tambourine monkeys, however this was not the case. All year we had been preparing for the tests and all year the teachers had kept us reminded of the low expectancy scores, so as to avoid panic come test day. If anything, this tactic simply avoided studying all together. Band had even taken Monday off for a nice little field trip. I was quite passive, forgetting all about Christen and the test… until the morning… it was always until the morning.

I came home to find the garage door picked, the careless trespasser also leaving it slightly open. Always prepared, I grabbed a hatchet from the workbench and went ever so quietly into the house. As I entered I tried to employ the never ending espionage tactic I’d seen in multiple forms of media, poking my eye around a corner, having the hatchet up and ready at all times, and of course checking every room down the hall until I had reached the bathroom. With the light on and shower running I didn’t know what to think, my brother was in tutorials and my parents wouldn’t step foot in me and my brothers bathroom for their lives, but then I was surprised anyone ells did.

Figuring I had a good excuse, I finally fulfilled a life long passion and busted off the doorknob with the butt of the hatchet. I then slid in to the slippery, foggy bathroom hatchet in hand up and ready. The figure, apparently a female, didn’t make any motion at all, it’s like she was deaf and blind, simply enjoying herself in the shower and paying no attention to the busted door and tall intruder. Still feeling the great adrenaline, I ripped off the curtain to reveal the anonymous intruder…


She stood there in a fright, hands covering her naked body as the water streamed over her. I must have had a really puzzled face cause she started giggling uncontrollably, bringing her hands up to cover her mouth instead of her chest. “Clair!!!” I became defensive and ignorant at what was happening to me. Before she could even think to respond I slapped my hand around her wrist and pulled her out of the shower, throwing a towel at her and telling her to get dressed and out of here immediately.

She simply dried and put on some lingerie, coming into the den right behind me. “What are you doing here?? We said our goodbyes months ago.” She grinned, speaking under her breath “That’s what you think…” I was enraged, I grabbed her by the arm shouting into her ear “What did you say??? Just put on your clothes and get out!” She slowly got her arm out of my grasp and twisted her self behind me, whispering into my ear, “You don’t even remember why we broke up… do you?” My face became beat red again, I was about to bark a reply but then it hit me, I really didn’t know why we had split, other than maybe her moving, though I was sure it was before then. I just…. couldn’t remember. All the sudden I was furious at myself, thinking I might have simply forgotten such an event, but my face didn’t show it. I had a look of confusion, bewilderment all about me. I didn’t move, I didn’t speak. “What’s was happening to me?” I thought. She continued to slither around me like a snake, taking advantage of my apparently self- imposed paralyses. “I’ll give you a memory to hold on to… we…” she giggled, unable to control her amusement at the situation, “ We… had an argument, Toni , that’s all... don’t you remember?” I began to speak but she cut me off, “Yes of course you do, we were right here, in this very spot yelling at each other for some silly reason… I told you I’d be back, Toni, remember? We agreed to take some time apart from each other, think about what this relationship meant to us…” She trailed off, as if to see if I was still listening to, believing her quickly conceived memories. I held on to every word, quickly taking down an account of the memories in my brain, as if to fill a hole I didn’t know existed.

She grinned when she came around to see my eyes; a sense of fulfillment in them, knowing she had implanted in me what past she wished me to know. I didn’t care, as long as I had a past, “Everyone needs a past…” I thought to myself. She kept a hand on my shoulder, keeping me steady when she talked. Her free hand now moved slowly across my back, caressing me as she had been doing the whole time, but now in a certain pattern, one I couldn’t see, much less decipher. My anger and rage quickly melted off me like butter, and any reasoning went with it, reseeding into the depths of my brain, to remain unwanted and unclaimed… for now.

I awoke in a sweat, with Clair at my side. I slowly picked the sheets up and removed myself, trying to recount last night, nothing came to mind. I shook my head in an effort to forget anything I saw that morning and get on with my life, after all the state tests were today. I quickly got dressed and out the door, all quiet as a mouse. I put my car in neutral and let back down my steep driveway, pressing hard on the currently manual brakes and then taking off, a sigh of relief escaped me. Before I knew it I was the school at seven. “An hour twenty to go…” I told myself. “When was the last time I had a full breakfast?”

I pulled up to the Starbucks just a block away from the school. As I approached the door I noticed Christen coming out, I held the door for her as she passed me by, smiling as always. I began to walk in just as she called for me, “Toni! Are you going to be in art today?” I responded in a split second, “Yeah, of course.” She grinned; the shine off her smile bringing out her beautiful face, “Good, we haven’t talked in a while…” I nodded, not knowing what to say. “ I’ll see ya there.” She grinned and headed off.

I walked in an ordered a cheesecake from the guy at the counter, not a real breakfast but what do I care? I got a hot chocolate with it and began to eat. Eventually a few friends from school came in and sat with me, I had no idea anyone ells came to Starbucks before school, this was my first time the whole year. We all talked till eight then drove up to the school, most of us regretting having Starbucks for breakfast soon after we arrived. I rushed along the fourth a mile long hallway to my class, which just happened to be at the very opposite end f the school, English. This class, in fact, was a perfect first period seeing as most of our time was spent freely, meaning sleep for the entire class. I entered the classroom, dropping my bag by my desk and going immediately to sleep in my chair, knowing we were watching a video in that day anyways. I would have slept anyways… the past day’s excitement, not to mention this morning, had eaten away completely at my energy and nerves, plus the fact that film class was next. I had no idea weather Clair would be there or not. I groaned as I made my way out of English, the walk down the hall would be long, and just thinking about it would be painful. I decided to call her cell, tell her I’d see her at my house after school.

I went home and sat in my room, turning on the computer to work on a story I had been writing for a while. As I finished the paragraph I felt something slither across my shoulder, I jumped out of my chair and confronted the serpent, “Clair”. She quickly slipped her self behind me, wrapping her slender arms ‘round my waist. “You… needed something, Toni?” I looked over into her eyes; they were blank as my mind at the moment. “Um… I…” I looked at her one more time, I was sure, “I’m not so sure anymore, Clair.” She looked right back at me, into me. She knew what I meant. She slipped round to face me. “What do you want from me, Toni? I’ve done anything and everything to keep this going but you just keep striking it down.” I squinted at her, the skin around my mouth curled in such a way she knew what was to happen before I spoke a word, “And you know damn well why I do, you did something to me…!” A flick and a cut, her blade had slipped between my ribs and into an unknown, but surely vital organ. I blinked, trying to look her in the eyes. I could do nothing now but try and get answers for myself, before I left. The full weight of my body fell to rely on the desk as my back slid down it, as the blood began to find its way out of my body. Her hand left the blade in my side, to find its way up to the side of my face, her free hand keeping me from falling. A steady stream of blood flowed from my mouth as I looked at her, pondering her intentions. She leaned in, kissing me passionately for a while, before letting my body fall to floor. I set against my desk as she slowly, very neatly pulled the blade from my side, as if not to hurt me any more. She cried as she licked the blood from her lips, looking down at me, “Now Toni, I can’t have you mumbling anything, you know, to your friends or the paramedics before you die, ok? This will be quick…” I said a little prayer to any deity that would listen as I watched her walk to my closet, rummage then finally pull out my number five iron. She gave a hesitant look before becoming stern; the club head came back, and forward, striking my right temple. At the time I believed I was dead before I hit the floor, before the side of my face fell into a puddle of my own blood. My eyes stayed stiffly open the whole time; I saw everything in that split second like there was a two-hour movie based on it. Eventually I blanked out, but my eyes stayed open. And they burned… oh god they burned…

Scenes of life or life how I saw it flashed before my eyes. I saw my friends around me, in fright, another flash and a smile on every face. Yet another and I was in an ambulance, the paramedic bent over inspecting me, shouting to his partner over the roar of the storm outside. I ignored every word coming from his mouth except one, the only word I must fear from now on: Blood. I could almost feel myself drowning in a pool of my blood once more, before JC pulled me up, before the wave poured out of my mouth, sucking itself into my favourite shirt. The word repeated to me until they put me out, until I could no longer hear myself think. I awoke in a certain ward of the hospital; I couldn’t quite make out the sign over the door. I couldn’t make out the faces either, but all of them seemed to be of my age. I tried to focus my sight by reading the nearest nametag aloud to my self, “Carrie Harris”. The figure in the bed to the right of mine turned towards me, I looked up to meet her eyes but they did not look at me, rather in the general direction of me. “Yes? Who are you?” I was still repeating the name, breathing heavily as I looked back to the bed beside mine. I looked up to meet her wondering eyes, the innocent, slightly freckled face, “I’m Toni um… ya…” My head bent down in embracement, why could I not remember my own last name? The girl giggled my blood shot eyes looked up in rage, what kind of nerve…? Of course, she couldn’t see me; she couldn’t take in the heavy signs of my shot confidence, or what was left of it. “Don’t you have a last name Toni? I swear I’m not a stocker.” She grinned. I grinned. No matter what kind of hole I was in, a soul like her could always keep my mind away from the most pessimistic of thinking......
TO BE CONTINUED