I edited your story for you. See what a little fixing up can do for you? It can make an okay story into a good one. I only changed it a little, but now it makes much more sense. Keep writing! Love ya!

   After showering, I finished my homework and made dinner. My mom, who was cleaning someone’s house (she’s a part-time maid), got home around nine pm. My dad had supposedly left on a business trip to Chicago earlier that day, but I’m not so sure that’s true. I think he’s just telling us that because he’s been cheating on Mom. I don’t want to tell her anything though, because she really likes him and she’s already gone through a divorce once before with my biological father. I miss him sometimes, a lot. My stepdad can be really… weird, and he makes me call him “Dad.” I don’t like it, but I don’t really have a say.

 

   I went to sleep again that night, counting back from 100 again as I always do. I had another dream about the dragon Isabelle. This time, I was riding on her back through the sky, flying high above the clouds. I was kind of freaked out but it was just a dream so I didn’t think it meant anything, just that it was odd to have two dreams so similar in a matter of a couple of nights. Once I had a dream I met God but that hasn’t happened yet so I doubted that this dream would.

 

 

   I stretched my arms as I unwillingly woke up the next morning, as I was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. At least I had gotten a few extra hours of sleep; it was Saturday. I blinked my eyes open, and rubbed them to make sure I wasn’t just imagining things. At the end of my bed sat a 270-pound dragon! I quickly figured out that he is a she and she just went to the bathroom all over my white sheets. The first thing that came to mind was what the heck is that beast doing in my bedroom? The second thing was: She peed all over my bed.

 

   “What- what are you doing here?” I gasped to the dragon, not expecting a reply.

 

   “I crawled through your window last night. I had nowhere!” she said, much to my disbelief. Things in my life were definitely not ordinary. Flying, telekinesis, weird dreams, and now dragons? That talk?

 

   “Oh. Well… would you like to stay here?” I asked unsurely. “I’m not sure how I’ll hide you from my family, but… You’re welcome to live with me if you want.”

 

   “Are you sure? …Okay, I guess. My name’s Isabelle, by the way.” My eyes opened wide. This explained the curious dreams I’d had lately. Oh well. Isabelle’s kind of pretty and nice, but she’s shy. She became my best friend after we got to know each other. We fly around together all over the city, taking care to see that no one notices us. My mom still doesn’t know about Isabelle because if she did, I’d have to get rid of her and I would probably never see daylight again, or at least until I turned eighteen. I didn’t believe in dragons before, but now I guess I have to. I mean, who wouldn’t after a dragon snuck through their window and lived with them? Yes, Isabelle is truly a wonder. But I love her. And she has changed my life so much. I cannot thank her enough for it. She is magnificent, and I will never forget her.

 

   Sometimes when you’re sad you dream about an adventure. Well, I'm sick of dreaming. I don’t see why kids can't just travel the world on their own, because when Adamidis wants something she prays and it always comes true. I don’t want go completely on my own, though. It would be too scary and I’d get way too homesick. Now, I know what you’re thinking: "You’re thirteen years old and you’re scared of most everything.” Well that’s me for you. Maybe I’ll invite Avery, Annika, Marley, Misha, and Markie to travel with me, I thought. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I should probably go to bed now. And as I counted back from 100 I fell slowly into a deep sleep and I dreamt that night. I dreamt of a dragon, a dragon named Isabelle. I don’t know why I dreamt of her, but she was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

 

   The next morning, things were… more than off when I woke up. First of all, my mom was cooking. What kind of happy streak is she on, I wondered. Secondly, my father was singing and reading the newspaper. Last week he swore at me for asking him to go get the newspaper and let me tell you something: Don’t talk to a man in the morning, period. I felt weird this morning and when I took a shower I... Well, I flew. I was stuck to the ceiling and I finally just… Well, I’m not sure what I did but I must have done something right, because I floated back down to the floor. Then, of course, I went to school. I totally want to protest against it because it’s so stupid. I already know everything they’re teaching us. I know you probably think I'm a smart alack, but I’m really not. When you’re doing 27 times 10 in 7th grade that’s bad, but I won’t say anything about it because I like impressing my mom with all A's. Today was just like any typical day except for some reason, almost everyone said hi to me. I don’t know why because I'm like one of the least popular kids in school. Oh, and I got stuck to the ceiling again somehow after third period and ended up missing lunch and English. Yay me.

 

   "Hey," Marley said to me during fifth period.

 

   "Hey," I replied, copying down the notes off the board.

 

   "Where were you today during lunch and English?"

 

   "Lets just say I got caught up in a sticky situation in the bathroom… Yeah, that’s what happened…"

 

   I probably could’ve come up with a better excuse. Now she was most likely thinking I crapped my pants. Great. Now I'm gonna be the school’s laughing stalk. I felt so embarrassed so I buried my head in my work. First everyone saying hi, then the- the flying, and now Marley thinks I had an accident. What’s going to be next? I couldn’t wait ‘till dismissal. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Come on, I begged the clock. Only thirty seconds… 5, 4, 3, 2, and… Riiinnngg! We were released. Unfortunately, my house is only a 5 minute walk from the school so I had to walk instead of taking the bus. I guess my mom could drive me, but I really wanted to walk with Avery. But of course I forgot Avery had soccer that day so I ended up shuffling home on my own. Once I got there, I took another shower. I was thinking about reaching for the soap, and joking around, tried to move it with my mind. To my disbelief, the bar of soap travelled through the air into my open hands. I tried it again, this time with shampoo, and the same thing happened. Hmm… I wonder if I could make Ryland, my friend, move out of the room when he’s being a smart mouth to me. Well, I’m not too amazed by the power anymore except when I forget to get the remote when I’m watching TV and I’ve already sat down.

 

 

Well... I like the idea of the story, but there are major improvements that must be made. The first one: put this through spell check and use punctuation and capitalization. The second one: Make. The. Chapters. Longer. And the third: Details, details, details. I cannot say that enough. People want delicious stories that keep them enveloped in the plot. If it doesn't have details then it'll seem dry, which is not what you want. I love the plot but there is a lot of editing that must be done. If you'd like me to, I'll do some simple editing for you and you'll see how much easier it'll be to read the story. And may I suggest a different title? Something with mystery, perhaps? Just some suggestions. Otherwise, keep working at it! You're doing great!

you have a good storyline there. but it needs proofreading.

hears a tip to make it better. save the writing to a word document on your commputer. start writing something else. after a good month or so come back to this story and make it better. make it more descriptive stretch it out a little.

oh and i would get rid of the chapter one, chapter two thing cos each of your chapter are only like ten lines.