The Story of Drake Haph | Teen Ink

The Story of Drake Haph

October 31, 2012
By TylerDTM BRONZE, Plattsmouth, Nebraska
TylerDTM BRONZE, Plattsmouth, Nebraska
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
How are you?


My name is Drake Haph. You probably do not know me, and I probably do not know you. If you do not want to risk discovering me and being detained or even killed by the D.E.D, leave now. If you are still reading this, you are brave. More brave than most humans. You deserve to hear my story.


On September 30, 1374, both my father and mother were executed for reasons unknown to me. My birth occurred just 13 days before. The executioner raised me for 3 years, and then abandoned me in a far-away forest. Somehow, someway I survived. Magic? A curse? Divine intervention? When I turned what I figured to be about twenty-five, (I marked the months on a nearby stump), I left the forest and headed east with 3 rabbits, 2 pieces of venison and a full water pouch made of elk hide. I left my bow and arrows, knife and traps behind. I traveled miles and miles, only stopping to rest my feet and eat. Finally I came upon a vast desert.


After 3 days just trying to cross it, having no water, and no idea where I was, I spotted a distant snow-topped mountain. I started towards it. I was walking and closed my eyes and when I opened them, I was staring at the sand. I attempted to get up but could barely move my arms or legs. I lay there helplessly for most of a day and passed out again. I awoke sometime later and before I opened my eyes, I felt a rush of air against my body. I tried to open my eyes but even that was too strenuous. I blacked out yet again and when I woke up this time, I was in a bed inside a cave. The only light came from a couple of candles scattered around. I slowly tried to open my eyes and was awarded by seeing a very old man sleeping in a chair. He was facing my bed. I tried to say something but had no voice. Glancing to the side of my bed, I found a glass of water. Taking it, I drank gratefully. I guess I was drinking loudly, because the man woke up and said, “Good morning.”


I did not see him wake up and when he spoke, I nearly dropped the glass. I tried speaking again and was only able to get out a very hoarse “Hello.” After I spoke, I had a few painful coughs. I asked him where I was and he said,

“Uh … a desert. I know that much. I have lived here my whole life. You’re the first human I have seen in more than a hundred years.”

“You’re joking, right?” I said with a slightly less hoarse voice.

“Yes. I am. I’ve only lived here a decade or two.”

I rubbed my neck and smiled. Then I kindly asked,

“Do you have any food?”

“Um … Let me check.”

He got up and left the room. While he was gone, I tried to get up, which I was barely able to do, and noticed that I was in what looked like a robe. I stared at it for a few seconds, and then I looked to my left, searching for a way out. Seeing nothing, I looked to my right. I saw one old, wooden door, with a wooden bar over it. I started toward it and when my hand was very near it, I heard the man angrily say, “Get away from that door.” I obeyed his command, turned around and saw him with an old stone plate with some kind of grey glop on it. He noticed me staring at it, and explained, “Well, this is all I have to offer. It isn’t good, but it’ll keep you going.”

“Right.”

He gave it to me and I sat down on my bed, rested the plate on my knees and began eating. It tasted a lot better than it looked. When I was finished eating, he took the plate and headed back through the door he came from. I followed.

“How long was I out?” I asked.

“Four days”

I looked at him in disbelief for a while. I then asked him his name.

“That’s not important, Drake.”

“H-how do you - ?” I muttered.

“Know your name? I’ve been watching you for a while.”

I slowly stepped backward.

“Who are you?” I said, a little louder than necessary.

“You can call me Sir or Mister.”

I was quiet for a few seconds, waiting for a better response. It never came.

“O-okay … Was I really out for four days?”

“Yes, you were. I found you out in the desert.”

“Yeah, I remember … feeling … a big, cool breeze on my face. What was that?”

The old man smiled.

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

“Okay … What’s through that door?”

“Nothing you need to concern yourself about.”

I tilted my head quizzically.

What doesn’t he wand me to know? I thought.

Something you don’t need concern yourself about. I heard in my head.

“Was … that … Was that you?” I asked curiously.

“Yes. It was.”

“How did you do that?”

“I’m sure you’ll find out. Somehow. Later.”

“Uh … okay …”

“I am leaving to find more food. Stay out of that room.”

“Okay.” I already had my mind set on that door.

“How long will you be gone?”

“A day or maybe two.”

“Two days?.”

“Yes.”

The old man turned and walked through a door that, when it opened, a blinding yellow light streamed toward me. Before my eyes could adjust to see where we were, the door closed. I smiled and looked at the forbidden door. I slowly walked up to it and lifted the bar. It was much heavier than it looked. I dropped the bar onto the floor and it made a very loud THUD. I opened the door and looked inside. There was a small fountain of water. I could see a faint white glow from within it. I looked back to make sure the old man wasn’t watching, and slid inside, closing the door behind me.

Okay. The old man was hiding water from me. But not normal water, glowing water. I was very curious.

Tip-toeing closer to the fountain, and yet still three paces away, my mind was overwhelmed with commands. Quickly, I clenched my head with my hands to try to block or muffle them. “Go back. Go away. Find the old man.” a throng of voices were telling me. One voice rose just a little louder than the rest. “Come, Drake. It is your fate.”

Lowering my arms and kneeling, I cupped my hands. Using them as a cup, I dipped some water from the fountain. It was very cool. I lifted my hands to my mouth, and drank the collected water. Suddenly, all of the water turned pure black. I tried to run to the door, but the ebony black water formed into a large hand and grabbed my ankle. The water was now nearly boiling. I heard and felt my leg sizzle and burn. The immense pain crept up my leg. I reluctantly looked at it. My skin was in ashes. I screamed. I felt the burn continue up my leg and eventually consuming my entire body. I passed out. When I awoke, I realized I was still in the cave. I felt warm. Looking down, I screamed. To my horror, my body was dark orange and my skin had been replaced by --- scales ! After I had regained my senses, I noticed that my hair even felt different, so I slowly reached for my head. I screamed in uncontrollable terror. I had long horns in place of my greasy black hair.

I quickly came to my senses and sprinted towards the door and pushed it open. It flew against the opposite wall, but didn’t fall. I didn’t notice. Being back in the old man’s room, I jumped into bed and pulled the blanket over my body. I laid there, just waiting --- waiting to be discovered and punished by the old man. I saw the light of the main door open and close. The old man walked into the room, noticed the door that was stuck on the wall, looked at the fountain, and slowly peered at me. I could see immense anger boiling in his dark eyes.

The man’s skin started to burn and fall away. His long white hair shifted into curving, pure white horns on his now elongated head. His hands and feet grew, making him stand on all fours. A long tail sprouted from his lower back. Out of his back exploded huge, eagle-like wings. This old man had turned into a ferocious creature … something I had only read about. A DRAGON!!! I began to whimper.



To Be Continued …


The author's comments:
This is the improved version of my story.

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This article has 1 comment.


on Nov. 5 2012 at 10:20 pm
WonTonFred1 SILVER, North Salt Lake, Utah
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you can't convince them confuse them-Harry Truman

Dialogue was confusing and needs some work, you need to specify who is speaking. You had a great start off but then ruined it by saying, "You deserve to hear my story". Maybe come up with an origional way of making you feel bad for the main character. Making him an orphan from the start and not eleborating was in my opinon a mistake. You should slowly bring the reader to a realization that his parents are gone. Story didn't really leave the reader with anything, you sort of gave us these random facts, what was the point behind it? Alright anyway useless Tirade on orphans aside just work a little bit on the grammar skills, just slow it down add more detail instead of throwing up all over the reader. Sorry for the criticism but it is neccessary :D.