The Star Potter Games

11-16-12


Bang! “Why? Why?” I hear people screaming. Just a normal day (December 14th) in Sector 13 of the United Countries of Earth. The Executioner has come to town to put a nespa (death spell) on a murderer. The guy deserved it but I still feel bad for his family.

“Why? Why?” His family wails. Oh well. Life goes on boringly as usual in Sector 13. Calmsustainers roam around the Dallows to remove the body. At least for once there was some excitement in my life. Let me back up. My name is Starlin. Starlin Obama. I am 5’ 1’’ and a half, tan, somewhat skinny, and bored out of my mind. Sector 13 is so boring when there are no Star Fights! I am a part of a military task force that once every year takes their 5 best fighters (I am always one of them) and place them inside of an arena. We fight in this arena until there is only one person per sector that has not been eliminated from the arena. It is a way to entertain the people for at least one month of the year.

That one month of the year is filled with celebrations, weddings, funerals. Any kind of mass gathering, it happens in this month of the year. November. November is the best time of the year to be outside. July too hot. December too cold. April too rainy. October too windy. November is 70 degrees Fahrenheit every day no matter what. Lets talk some more about star fights. People do not get killed, we get eliminated. When we get killed we get reincarcerated in our houses and for the rest of the Star Fights we are stuck in a paralyzed state until the Star Fights are over.

You are allowed to use any weapon imaginable. Wand, Lightsaber, Bow and Arrow, anything. Most of the people who are ever on my team just off themselves and then after the Star Fights turn it into some BS story about how Sector 1 cheats.

Let me explain Sectors. The higher the number of your sector, the richer you are. (There are only thirteen sectors). Sector 1 is dirt poor and is always fighting with animals to survive. Therefore my team always thinks that Sector 1 cheats because they continually have to fight animals when we cannot do any training at all and they are training by simply surviving. That is why the rest of my team when we get to the arena always says “F--- you Obama and decapitates themselves. I personally could care less if they have to survive! For crying out loud. Seriously people have some common sense. Anyways after the Star Fights the rest of my teammates (besides me) always go and cuss out Sector 1’s government. I always get commemorated for my sportsmanship. Weirdly I always seem to be high up in the rankings for the game so it really does not matter anyways.
Last year I won the whole thing and I got a huge parade. The reason for the parade was not that I won which seems like the obvious answer but the fact that I, Starlin Obama am going into the Star Fights Hall of Fame. The way I won was so amazing that I broke all of the rules for being elected into the Hall of Fame. I killed (eliminated) a person by using Michigan. Only one. Count it. ONE! Person has ever mastered Michigan and I am the second. They changed the rules for that guy (Luke Skywalker) and now me. They are going to change the rules. Wait. What was that? No not you but…

“ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!” What? What is going on? From what I hear on my Force scanner (my Force team wifi communication system) Sector 1 is attacking us! For no reason whatsoever! I need to dress up! Wait hold the phone. (Not you Audrey! Keep talking to your friend. Yes just like that. Moron.) Me being a part of Sector 13’s Force team means we have to wear special gear to stay unwounded in combat. We have to wear Kevlar armor. We have a lightsaber, wand and bow and arrow at our belts and any other weapons that we pick up in combat. Our dress suit sort of makes us look like former NAVY SEALS. I hate going into combat. That means I may have to injure someone. I do not like injuring people. Have I told you that I go to a mental asylum for that? Well, I do. I dressed up in my uniform, took a breath, and walked out my front door.