Scientific Observations of a Mad Man – 1

Tiny People


I got very bored today.

So, I decided to make something extraordinary!

Now, we are all people, correct? Well, apart from the occasional Martian or alien from another solar system, we are mostly humans. There are big humans and there are smaller humans. But there aren’t any really, really tiny people, people that you can hold in the palm of your hand. Action figure sized people!

So I decided to create some.

It wasn’t easy and it was most certainly a tedious task, I assure you. I had to work out complex equations, get the right ingredients for my…formulas, test it out on Ginny pigs and elephants…And then I had to go looking for volunteers. Surprisingly, it wasn’t very hard to find one.

He was a young boy by the name of Atticus. I didn’t ask what his last name was because it was most likely that I would forget anyway.

He looked to be about…eh, twelve years old at the most. But he was a brave soldier. He volunteered himself before I had finished explaining my experiment.

He seemed to suffer from a lack of parents…and any family at all, actually. He told me that he lived in the orphanage down the street. I had gone by it several times before but I paid it no close attention. After all, it was just a building packed with children.

But he managed. He was very hyperactive as well. I was wondering whether I should have given him a sedative before making him very tiny. But I feared that I would not be able to catch him.

He followed me to my office and I asked him to sit down in a rather diabolical looking chair I had made myself when I was just a wee lad. It couldn’t hold my weight anymore so it was more for show than actual sitting on. But it was perfect for the boy.

I strapped his thin wrists to the armrests and asked him, for goodness’ sake, to sit still. He was an obedient little brat and immediately froze in his seat. Whether out of fear or obedience, I don’t know.

I grabbed my syringe and reached for the crook of his pointy elbow. He didn’t flinch as I stuck the needle into his pale flesh. When I had finished, I sat back in my own chair (big enough for me to sit on) and watched him as he watched me watch him.

“Who do you think I am, boy?” I asked him, out of curiosity. The lad had never thought to ask my name.

Atticus squirmed a little in his seat before he answered me in a loud voice.

“Why, you’re a genius, sir!” he said.

I smiled slightly, the phrase ringing over and over again in my head like an echo.

“How so?” I asked, joining my fingertips together.

A grin had spread across Atticus’ pasty face. “You’re going to make me a tiny little man, sir! I don’t know of anyone so great in all my life!”

It looked like he wanted to continue praising me. But he stopped abruptly as though someone had spooked him from behind, frightening him into silence.

His face went even paler and his eyes grew wide. He began shuddering and shivering like a rabid dog. He moved his lips as though to form words but no sound came out. I leaned forward in my chair, watching closely.

All movement from him suddenly ceased and the room became silent and heavy. I continued to peer at him from afar.

I sneered as his left arm shrunk into its socket, becoming miniature. Soon, the rest of his body followed. His right arm shrunk, his legs, his head…until he became the size of my thumb.

I jumped up out of my chair and gently picked up the tiny boy.

“Tom Thumb, eh?” I laughed, looking down at him sitting quietly in the palm of my hand.

Atticus covered his ears with his small hands and shouted up to me.

“Don’t yell, sir! You’re very loud and your breath is very hot!”

I whispered softly to him, “How are you enjoying this, Atticus, my boy?”

“I’m positively stunned, sir! But, erm, how are you going to change me back? I still have to go to school and the orphanage nanny will be wondering where I’ve gone off to.”

With my free hand, I slapped my forehead.
I had forgotten to make sure I knew how to reverse this.