OMG (Oh My Grendel)

Dear diary,

It’s been a while since I’ve written in this old diary of mine, so I guess I should give a brief update on myself. Ok so it’s been going pretty badly for me. It’s been pretty lonely in this marsh. I miss my mommy. And on top of that, I am scared that I’m going to fall back into my bad habits. I keep telling myself that I don’t need to go out and purge on human flesh, that I’m better than that, but lately I’ve been finding myself thinking about it more than ever. The delicious taste of human blood gets my mouth to watering and before I know it I have my claws out and my hunger is through the roof. Ugh. So much for this diet I was trying to keep on. I’ll write in next week for an update.
Xoxo,
Grendie

Dear diary,

Ok I need a minute or two to vent. I come bearing bad news. I gave in to my temptation and invaded Herot. I tried telling myself that I was better than my old habits, but I just couldn’t help myself. Allow me to elaborate on my endeavor. It was late in the evening about a day or two ago, and my stomach was growling so loudly, and it felt as hollow as a drum. I was having a pretty bad day, so I thought I owed it to myself to splurge and do something that made me really happy. So I decided to go eat some Danes. I silently slithered from my swamp and crept as silently as a shadow to the golden city. When I got there I had noticed that all of the men had retired for the night. The city was so quiet, I could have awaken the entire city simply by breathing too heavily. When I finally snuck into the room with the sleeping men, the sweet aroma of human flesh flooded my nose. It was then when I lost it. I snuck up on the sleeping men, snoring and snorting like a content pack of pigs, as silently as the night itself. As quickly as I could I sank my razor sharp teeth and long claws into the skin of my victims and immediately devoured the delicious skin and organs of the helpless soldiers. The sound of their fragile bones snapping within my strong grasp was all too much, and after eating 30 or so men, I retreated back into my home, to be alone and ashamed on my own once again. Way to go Grendel. Way to go. Anyway, I’m going to go listen to some Coldplay to drown out my sorrows.
Hopefully I’ll have better news next week,
Grendie

Dear diary,

OH MY GOSH GUYS THIS HAS SERIOUSLY BEEN THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. There I was just minding my own business when this random Gaet came out of nowhere and wanted to fight me. Ok I know I shouldn’t have gone back to Herot but look, a monster’s gotta eat. So there I was, quickly engulfing the disembodied limbs of my hunt, when all of a sudden this random dude named Beowulf comes with swords and weapons trying to attack me. He was thrashing and cutting the air with his heavily decorated weaponry and armor. He appeared to be the living symbol of hope, and he carried himself as any noble hero would. He realized right off the bat that weapons have no effect on me, so he started using his great strength and his bare hands to try to rid Herot of my evil doings for eternity. I was terrified, but when I was hearing his deep breathing and strong grunting and I paid attention to how badly he wanted to kill me, I began to bulk up and fight back. Then, out of nowhere, I hear a familiar blood curdling and spine tingling noise being emitted from the right region of my body. Before I could react, I was stunned to see my arm had been torn off from my shoulder socket. The sweet and familiar smell of fresh blood was burning my nose. Humiliated and terrified, I retreated. I ran away to my momma’s place, because who doesn’t need their mom when they’re sick? So that’s how it all went down. I’m still shaken up and scared, but I told my mom and she said she’ll kick some Beowulf tush. I love my mom.
In pain and distraught,
Grendie xoxo