All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
A Cosmic Comedy
Two aliens walk into a bar orbiting a nearby planet, and order drinks, then talk about current events and the state of the galactic economy.
Praxus: “Hey, Zebanon, did you hear about the galactic monopoly that collapsed recently? Man, that corporation has been afflicted with misfortune ever since it was established.”
Zebanon: “No, Praxus, I have not heard. What is it called?”
Praxus: “Starcrossed Industries.” (tries to stifle laughter but fails. Praxus can’t stop laughing)
Zebanon: (Annoyed) “Way to make a stellar joke. You’re an ass-teroid sometimes, you know?”
Praxus: “Maybe, but I’m not nearly as much of an asshole as that space beetle looking thing over there.”
Zebanon: “Where?”
Praxus: “Over there you dolt, right in front of the bartender. Look at how scared he made the poor insect!” (points his leg towards the unfolding scenario)
At the same time….
A beetle-like alien visits the same bar Praxus and Zebanon are in, and sits down on a high rise seat in front of the beetle alien bartender’s desk. He asks for a drink.
Pincer: “Hey, yo! (whistles) Bartender, I’d like a drink, stat!”
Bartender: “Alright, what would you like to have sir?”
Pincer: “Hand me over some Betelgeuse, will you?”
Bartender (terrified): “Wha..what?!”
Pincer: “What? All I wanted was the Betelgeuse special!”
Bartender: “Get away from me you cannibal!” (runs out of the bar)
Pincer (looks towards a blob-like alien next to him): “Geez, what’s his problem? (chuckles)” (does this while sticking his thumb out as if to refer to the horrified bartender).
Blob: “...Slimeball.” (squiggles and sloshes away, leaving a gooey trail from the seat to the bar’s exit).
Afterwards…
Zebanon: “Yeesh. What a pest.”
Praxus: “Yeah. That sun of a female Sirius actually thought his joke was funny.”
Zebanon: (Aside) “That sounds like someone I know.”
END
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 0 comments.
With this piece, I have created what I feel to be a unique science fiction "skit" with elements of comedy dispersed throughout. I was inspired to create this story when I envisioned the iconic cantina scene in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, and was inspired also to create the first pun in the skit (the punchline being "Starcrossed Industries") by Shakespeare's trope "star-crossed lovers" in his play "Romeo and Juliet", connecting this idea with elements of futuristic fiction and fantasy. I hope that people will get a good laugh from my piece and appreciate the effort I put into devising the puns and ironies present in the skit-- no matter how bad some people may think the puns to be. Ultimately, I hope people can enjoy my first piece of writing since my registration on this site.