There she is, lying on the cold ground, waiting for me to come and pick her up. I can sense her presence from miles away. I have been searching for her for months now, but I never thought to find her like this. I never thought we would meet in these circumstances, but at least I get to see her. I draw closer, one step at a time. My hands start shaking, but my steps are solid. As I get closer to her, I feel the connection, a strong desire to be near her. I feel the urge to run away, run away as fast as I can, to get further and further away from her. In the end, curiosity gets the best of me and I proceed towards her, as if I’m getting closer to my deathbed, but I have no deathbed. I am immortal. I am the deathbed.
I continue walking, a million thoughts running through my head and they are all about her. I’ve never seen her before, so I have built up a vision of her, the way I think she looks. I force myself to solely focus on her because I know that if for a split second I look around, this will be painful as hell. I catch glimpses of ruins, bodies reaching out, souls begging me to pick them up, but they will have to wait. I cannot deal with them now, I have to get to her first. I am trying to block all the images from reaching me, I am trying to concentrate on her. Her vision is the only thing that keeps me from falling apart, from being destroyed in an unimaginable way. She is like my angel, my muse, so I force myself to keep on going, only for her.
When I get there, I can’t find her. I know that she’s here, but I can’t see her.
“Where are you? Who are you?” I shout in desperation, needing to see her. Then, I catch a glimpse of a hand under the ruins. This has to be her, I think, so I draw closer. I can’t wait to see her, get to know her. I move the ruins away, to discover her beautiful face. She’s just like I imagined. Her eyes are closed, her lips slightly apart as if they are trying to take in a last breath, a last taste of this world. Her smooth blonde hair is falling lightly on her shoulders as if it is pure gold. There were dirt stains on her cheeks and on her beautiful hair. I could tell that she was in pain, so all I wanted to do was to save her soul from her aching body. I know this is wrong, I know that I shouldn’t be too attached to a soul, but I can’t help it. She is calling me, and I cannot ignore her. She is the only soul I cannot ignore.
I know this will hurt later on, but there is nothing I can do. I am too weak. I know that the longer souls stay in this world, the more they’ll get her. I need to let her go so that she does not get teared apart from this dangerous world, but all I am thinking of right now is to be with her. I don’t want to hurt her, she is so precious, but I need her. It’s as if I am craving her. There is this growing feeling inside of me that is taking control of me, but I don’t want to give up. I am trying to resist the urge to let go and let this force drive me.
I hear her voice ringing in the back of my head. She is constantly telling me to let go, her voice so sweet and tempting that I am thinking of giving up. Her voice is haunting me like a shadow, I can feel it make its way in every cell of my body. As her voice gets louder and louder, I start shaking, shaking so hard like a leaf in the wind. I close my eyes as if to take one last glimpse of her beauty, taking her in. I take a deep breath, feeling the sulphuric air crushing my lungs as if they’re going to burst. I try to think, but there are so many thoughts rushing through my head. In the end, I let out a shaky breath, giving up, letting this feeling consume me.
I slowly pick up her beautiful soul, my hands shaking like crazy. Her soul is light like a feather, gently wrapped in my cold arms. I am scared, my heart beating as if it’s going to break free. Her slender arm gently wraps around my back, sending cold shivers down my spine. She reaches out, to squeeze my black heart and I let her. It’s as if I surrender myself to her. I let her control me. An invisible hand squeezes my heart as if trying to squeeze water out of a sponge. I gasp in pain, it’s as if my whole world has been shattered to pieces. I want to let go, but it’s too late. As she squeezes my heart with a strength I didn’t believe she possessed, blood rushed to my head. I drop to my knees, feeling the warm blood trickle down my nose, tasting the blood in the back of my throat. My whole mouth is filled with the sweet, metallic taste of blood. My whole body is numb. I fall down on the harsh ground looking up to her, as an evil grin stretches across her face.
“Whhhhh,” I whisper, trying to make out a single word, but nothing comes out. I try again, “Whhhhh,” but I fail. In the end, I manage to make out a shaky word, “Why?” I ask her. It’s barely audible, but I know she can hear me perfectly fine. I slowly close my eyes, taking in a last glance of this monstrous world.
At last, I am at peace.
Or am I?