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Dawn of The Planet of the Pandas
Jack Thorton a 27 year old man stood still staring into space flabbergasted on how perfect his life was going. A new job, a great girlfriend, little did he know that for the next 24 hours he would be fighting off pandas to save his life.
Jack recently got hired at a banking firm called Nexco, he was in charge of checking financial records to make sure there was no money being used on personal use. But on his first day that is exactly what he found, he sat down, unpacked his stuff and was exhausted. He shut his eyes opened them and got back to work suddenly he relised over 100 thousand dollars were being withdrawn every month under the name of Francis MccArthy. Jack exited that he already proved himself a good hire walked to his managers room to tell him what he found.
“Oh, hello there Jack.” Said his boss
Jack replied, “I think i found something that should be brought to the company's attention.”
Jack slid a file to his boss with the details of what he had found. Suddenly after he had looked in the file Jack was told to step out of the room.
Jack heard his boss talking on the phone he didn't catch the whole conversation but he did hear some of it , “He found out…. He isn't important…..send someone…take care of this.” This obviously frightened Jack.
“Come on back in here,” said Jack’s boss. “I just talked to corporate and they said that the money is going toward a project and to not worry about it.”
“What but it is thousands of dollars, we should get to the bottom of this.” Said Jack
His boss replied, “ here we don't need to upset corporate so why don't you leave it alone and take thee rest of the day off.”
Jack accepted the offer and went home.
Once home jack could not stop thinking about what the special project was. He thought to himself, “what kind of project needs several million dollars a year to fund. He decided to look farther into it. He looked on the internet for what charities the company was supporting. Panda International, Panda Cares, and Panda express. He noticed that all of these things were a part of pandas. He looked further into it and found that Panda co was the owner of all those charities along with Nexco. This made Jack even more intrigued. So intrigued that he decided to go take a visit to Panda Co headquarters. He immediately bought a ticket to Japan where the headquarter is located, jumped into his car and drove to the airport.
Once in Japan he had no currency, no transportation, and did not speak the language. He unborded the plane and started to wonder. It took him over 30 minutes to find someone that could speak english. He asked for directions to Panda Co headquarters, to jack's surprise it was located in the middle of a jungle. The man also told him that the jungle was highly protected because of the large panda population. He said that trespassing can result in jail time.
Jack did not care that he would be trespassing and took a taxi to the Jungle. When he arrived he climbed the barbed wire fence and started to hike through the bushes and shrubs. A few minutes into walking he came across it, the massive rectangular building had no window and was painted a dull grey. He walked up to the building and could not find a way in, that was until he saw two fwo fully clothed pandas walk up to the building, the wall opened in front of them. Jack thought he was seeing things. Jack ran and jumped into the building while the doors were still open. Jack once inside saw thousands of pandas, they were all doing things though. Like humans he thought to himself.
Jack knew what this meant, if he did not do anything the pandas would become over intelligent and overthrow the human society. If he did not do anything about it the entire world would end.
Jack overheard a conversation between the pandas one said, “Hey there buddy.”
Then the other replied, “hey buddy.”
Jack using his problem solving skills decided that this was code for “we will set off the nuclear bom in 2800 hours.
Jack then realized that the only thing he could do is set of a bom that would send out a gas that would only kill pandas.
Jack started to look around. He went into a closet to look for materials for his bomb. He miked bleach windex and tnt together. “This will do the trick” said Jack. He ran outside the closet set the bomb on fire and ran.
Jack barely survived the fire, and successfully killed all of the Pandas.
“Wake up” Jack awoke to his boss standing over him at his desk.
If you learn anything from this story it should be to not fall asleep on your first day of work
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