I went to the zoo today. I watched giraffes nuzzle a toddler as he offered them some nuts. I giggled as the monkeys scratched their rears, in seeming oblivious bliss. Hahaha! Cute. That night I didn't sleep in my bed, which is in my room, in my apartment, which lies in the Upper West Side of New York City, in the great United States of America, on the continent North America, on the celestial sphere we call earth. Isn't it weird that we call it Earth? I mean, it's mostly water right? Eh, actually that's probably just NASA lying to us like how they lied about putting a man on the moon. And how come we call North America, North.? Aren’t cardinal directions completely made up? It's not as if in space I can go North or South, so why should I be able to do so on Water? Anyways I didn't spend it in my bed. I didn't spend it in my apartment, I didn’t even spend that night in Old York CIty (because the Native Americans lived there long before the British lived in the original York), or even in The Divided States of America. In fact, that night was not even spent in South America, or on our planet Water or that matter. I spent that night visiting the galactic zoo. The zoo is very different when one is standing on the outside of the cages looking in. I took the guided tour where the Martian intern (who clearly would rather have been at a Michael Jackson concert on Mars), explained that the Galactic Zoo was designed to keep the Waterlings in the optimal environment. The enclosure, I was told, was designed so that the Waterling Species would not be aware it was in a zoo. Fascinating! To think that the bag of Funions I found unopened lying on the ground last week had been dropped by a five year old Plutonian (after he got into an argument over the definition of a planet). Gosh thank god my life's a zoo exhibit, and I am the only one who knows it. Now I can enjoy tripping that crippled war veteran! After all, I am simply putting on a show for the Galactic Zoo’s visitors.
Thank God my life on Water is a Zoo. Isn’t it weird that we call that omniscient being God. Couldn’t Moses, Mohammed, Abraham, and Jesus have gotten together and been a bit more creative?