If you don’t know me, you will. I see you every day, when you are awake, when you are asleep. I am not a stalker, merely an admirer. I know you better than you do. By all means, I don’t want you thinking I am a bad person, for I am not one. I am the thing that brings this world to prosper, but also destroys it while doing so. I come when the time is right, when it has taken a toll on everyone’s soul. I love my job, but I guess you would to if you had to do it for eternity like me. It gets lonely hearing the moans and groans from all the lost souls I hold captive in my palace of blood and bones.  There is one soul I visit constantly, she died at Panda Express. It was a bone-chilling night in Why, Arizona. The time was 8:45, the moon was light, and only up about a quarter of the way. Chelly was looking for a place to eat, and it just so happened a Panda Express stood waiting. She walked in to find a single man with his head poked just above the counter. He welcomed her with a rapacious simper. She ordered the Kung Pao Chicken. It was 9:30 now, and I just arrived. She took her fourth nosh of the food, and fell out of her seat. The alchemistic man gumshoed around the corner into the kitchen. I crawled through the crusty, creaky doors of the disgustingly dense palace of noisomeness. As I reached in for the pestilent body, it twitched. I took the soul from the malodorous shell. The repugnant, glutinous, corps lay still on the floor of the Panda Express. That isn’t the weirdest, though. This one lived in Sandwich, Illinois.
She left to go on a trip to Utah. Before she got to her hotel in Utah, she drifted asleep. The car was “driving itself” into the weirdest part of Utah, Goblin Valley. When she awoke, her car was steaming, and blood leaked onto the steering wheel from the mauled face of the driver. It was quarter-till-six, and the day was lingering. The green, revolting, breviloquent beasts stood before her as misshapen little men. The moon had taken the sun's place in the kingdom of stars, just the time for the “goblins” to come out. They didn’t ingurgitate her right away, they left her to wonder what was happening. She lay in the same spot, for she was too injured to move. They talked with her, they convinced her they were the good guys. Finally the goblins had had enough fun, and englutted her. All that was left was a pile of bones and a pool of blood. I swooped in way too late. My alarm clock didn’t go off, and it was so far away. My invisible flying lambo broke down, and I had to fly. I could tell she had rotted for a couple of days. I didn’t even want to touch the steaming pile of slop, but I grabbed the soul anyway. It was very disgusting, but we ended up becoming very good friends. Those are the highlights of my job, and I hope to see you soon.