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Not Andrea
EXT. Small, New England Town 
 
 Snow falls on the cracked pavement. A few flickering street lights faintly illuminate the small town, clusters of houses and shops closed from the weather. 
 
 SAM enters, dressed in a ratty trench coat, and a tie. A gun is grasped tightly in her hand. Andrea, dressed in a large, warm coat, walks through the street, peering into various shop windows and scowling at dresses. 
 
 SAM
 Excuse me, miss? Is your name Andrea? 
 
 ANDREA
 No. No, not particularly.
 
 SAM
 I see. Well, do you happen to know anyone by that name that lives here?
 
 ANDREA
 No. I mean, if you’re looking for someone named Andrea, then you’re probably looking for me, but my name isn’t Andrea.
 
 SAM
 Well, Not Andrea, do you have a few minutes? I have something I need to show you. 
 
 ANDREA
 Do you have ten dollars?
 
 SAM
 I think so. Why? 
 
 ANDREA
 No reason in particular. I just wanted to ask. Yes. What?
 
 SAM
 Come with me. 
 
 Sam takes Andrea by the hand, and walks into a narrow, darkened alley. She roughly pushes Andrea to her knees, and pulls her gun out of her pocket, placing against the back of Andrea’s neck. Andrea shrugs.
 
 SAM
 You seem pretty indifferent for someone with a gun to her head. 
 
 ANDREA
 You seem pretty much like a girl for a hit man.
 
 SAM
 B****. My mom used to tell a pretty useful piece of advice. Don’t back talk the person who’s got a gun against your head. 
 
 Andrea pauses.
 
 ANDREA
 Growing up, how often did that come up?
 
 SAM
 More than you’d think, and more than I’d like. I’d prefer to not discuss my home life. 
 
 Sam pulls back the hammer, and cocks the gun. 
 
 ANDREA
 (wincing)
 Well that’s tough, because I really prefer some bedside manner. (beat). I’m studying to be doctor.
 
 SAM
 Huh. They didn’t mention that bit in your file. What kind of doctor? 
 
 ANDREA
 Oncologist.
 
 SAM
 Ah. That makes sense, with your mother and all.
 
 ANDREA
 What did you say?
 
 Sam laughs to herself. 
 
 SAM
 You heard what I said. I know more than you think, Not Andrea. 
 
 ANDREA
 But, I mean, why? I mean, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to question your method or anything, but, if you’re just going to kill me, why on earth would you need to know that my mother died of cancer?
 
 SAM
 You’d be surprised how the little information comes into play. A better question would be why haven’t I killed you yet? 
 
 ANDREA
 I mean, we both know why you haven’t killed me already.
 
 Sam blushes, and clears her throat loudly. 
 
 SAM
 Shut up. 
 
 ANDREA
 What’s your name?
 
 SAM
 My record says Samantha, but people who call me that have a tendency to stop existing. 
 
 ANDREA
 Fair enough. Too girly, I presume. 
 
 SAM
 (snarling) 
 Remember what I told you about back talk. 
 
 Andrea turns her head towards Sam, smiling. 
 
 ANDREA
 No reason not to, seeing as you’re planning to shoot me any second now. 
 
 Sam is at a loss for words, opening and closing her mouth with no sound coming out. 
 
 ANDREA
 Not really something there’s a witty response to, is there? 
 
 SAM
 Shut up. 
 
 ANDREA
 Sure. Just as soon as you shoot me. 
 
 SAM
 (aside)
 Why does it always have to be the pretty ones? 
 
 ANDREA
 This isn’t a play, I can hear you. 
 
 
 SAM
 Didn’t I tell you to shut up? 
 
 ANDREA
 Could be. My memory’s a bit…foggy. Now, are you gonna shoot me or not? I have other things I need to do. 
 
 SAM
 Like what? 
 
 ANDREA
 Well, not getting shot is pretty high up there…
 
 SAM
 I guess today is not your lucky day then. 
 
 ANDREA
 Well, I’m still talking, aren’t I? 
 
 SAM
 Despite my pleas to the contrary. 
 
 ANDREA
 Didn’t your mom ever tell you assassinating people isn’t a good way to make new friends? 
 
 SAM
 Did your mom ever tell you to be quiet? Oh, I guess not, her being dead and all. 
 
 ANDREA
 F*** you. 
 
 SAM
 Please. 
 
 Andrea stands back up, smiling at Sam. Sam back up, gun still pointed towards Andrea. 
 
 SAM
 Get back on your knees, or so help me I’ll remove them. 
 
 ANDREA
 Please. You’ve had me in the perfect position for a nice, clean execution for the past five minutes. If you were going to do it, you would have already done it. 
 
 
 SAM
 Is that what you think? 
 
 ANDREA
 It is. Now, I’m going to walk away, and you won’t shoot me. 
 
 SAM
 Why is that, exactly? 
 
 ANDREA
 You have a little crush. 
 
 SAM
 (face red now) 
 Get down. 
 
 ANDREA
 Nope. Now, since you did me the pleasure of letting me keep my brains inside of my head, I’ll do you one back and not report this to the police, as I probably should. 
 
 Sam fires a shot towards Andrea’s feet, gunshot echoing off the stone buildings on either side. 
 
 ANDREA
 Goodbye, Samantha. 
 
 SAM 
 I told you, my name’s…
 
 ANDREA
 (interrupting) 
 Yes, yes. Now, really, I do have to go. Dinner in the oven and all that. 
 
 Andrea gets up and walks off, whistling a tune. Sam is enraged, punching a wall.

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