Scene 1
The stage is empty.  WILL walks out.
WILL
Suicide.  Sometimes it can seem like the only escape from the problems of life.  Psychiatrists can give you strategies for dealing with depression, but there is no certain way to get rid of it. Anti-depressants work, like Zimblata. Ask a doctor for more information. Studies have shown that use of this drug may cause suicidal thoughts. But really, all psychiatrists do is say: "Oh, you poor, poor thing." My parents worry about me.  I know they do. I mean, a high school boy who rarely leaves his room (let alone the house). Well, that's just strange.  Its not because I don't want to, I just don't have anywhere to go... and no one to go with.
Pause
I've never considered myself depressed. I've always been happy, or mostly happy.  But there are somethings that people say or do that can upset me. Once I've been upset, it can take days... even weeks to get me back together.
Thinking
My parents have been taking me to psychiatrists for years. Why? Severe anxiety. My parents can never be late coming home, or I panic. They say, "Okay, we'll be home by 6 o'clock."  6:01? I'm on the phone calling them. I used to only worry about planes--
Transition to DR. BRANDENBURG's office.
DR. BRANDENBURG
So... when do you feel the most anxious?
WILL
When my family is flying somewhere.
DR. BRANDENBURG
Is it only your family you worry about?
WILL
Mostly.
DR. BRANDENBURG
And only airplanes?
WILL
Sometimes when they drive I get anxious too. Generally when they are going long distances.  Also when they're gone for a long time.
DR. BRANDENBURG
Airplane crashes are very rare.
WILL
I know. But my anxiety doesn't seem to care.
DR. BRANDENBURG chuckles.  
DR. BRANDENBURG
Cars crash all the time. Don't waste your time being anxious about planes. Car crashes occur daily.
WILL comes down stage.
WILL
I know what you're thinking. Yes. That did happen. And it was only the beginning.  He continued throwing out statistics on car crashes in an attempt to lower my anxiety level about planes.
DR. BRANDENBURG
Encouraging.
Only 53% of car crashes are fatal. And in 2012, only 25,580 car crashes had a fatality.
WILL
Puzzled.
While I thank him for the attempt, all he accomplished was making my anxiety about cars skyrocket. Which leads me to... panic attacks. The product of my anxiety when it lasts too long.
Transition to the WAGNER home.  WILL is alone on stage.  He is frantic.  His breaths are quick. He is suffering from an oncoming panic attack.
My breathing... it's--
Struggling to find the word while continuing to breath heavily.
--heavy.
He thinks he hears a noise.  There is nothing. Frantically:
What was that? Hello? Is someone there? Nothing. It was nothing.
A noise (comes from off stage).
Hello? Now that was something.
Footsteps from off stage can be heard approaching. Panicing:
Someone at the door. What do I--
WILL has his back to the door. The door opens and LYDIA and STEVEN enter.
LYDIA
Hi sweetheart.
WILL
Turning around:
Jesus Christ!
LYDIA
Oh I'm sorry... did we startle you?
WILL
Yes! You scared the hell out of me!
STEVEN
Sorry. We didn't mean to.
LYDIA
Seeing WILL's panic.
Are you alright?
WILL
I just came down to get some water the I got the feeling I was about to die.
STEVEN
What?
WILL
I started hearing all these noises, my breaths got heavier, and I was just terrified.
LYDIA
A panic attack? I get them often. They are just terrible.
STEVEN
This is the perfect thing to talk to Dr. Brandenburg about tomorrow. He could have some strategies for helping to prevent them.
WILL comes back down stage.
WILL
My first panic attack. Mom wasn't kidding when she said they were terrible. They truely are awful. All I can say is that I wish them on no one. No one at all. If you are interested, panic attacks come when someone is over stressed and anxious. As I have mentioned before, my anxiety levels seem to have been rising recently. This may have something to do with my friendship circle decreasing. Now, were you listening before when my father brought up my psychiatrist, Dr. Brandenburg? My parents think psychiatrists are like gods.  They can fix all your problems. Yeah. I kinda disagree. All they do is give you strategies to hide the problems. I have plenty of strategies for anxiety. My problem was that during my panic attack, I forgot them all. GREAT! That's sure useful. Anyway, I continued seeing the doctor. Until this:
Transition to DR. BRANDENBURG's office.
DR. BRANDENBURG
Let's talk about this panic attack of yours.
WILL
Well, it's like I told you--
DR. BRANDENBURG
I have a strategy that seems to work more effectively than the others.
WILL
The problem with the others is that they are so obvious. If I'm anxious during school, I can't just get up, sit on the floor, and meditate.
DR. BRANDENBURG
You're right. This one is different. Sit quietly... focus on your breath.  In... out... in... out... good. Now, count out loud: In-one... out-one... in-two... out-two... great. Do it in your head up to seven then start over. It might help to calm down the anxiety when you need to.
WILL
Thanks.
WILL returns to down stage.
WILL
So, my experience with meditation has calmed my anxiety levels. The counting does work. I've tried it. It seems to work... before my anxiety gets too out of control, it seems to work alright. I'll tell you, the one that doesn't work is:
DR. BRANDENBURG
When you are worried: picture beautiful flowers.
WILL
Alright. I can do that, and when I do the flowers are beautiful but suddenly, a car comes driving through the flowers at 95 mph into the lone tree in the middle of the field. Just my luck! Or, the flowers sit at the base of graves. Well, as you can guess... I stopped imagining flowers pretty f**king quick! Thanks Doc, but no thanks. But don't get me wrong, I appreciate what psychiatrists do. And I understand that people are different, so they need different strategies. Maybe the best way to supress anxiety is to learn the triggers and signs. If you know a panic attack, or anxiety levels are increasing they might not be as freightening. I've written too much. To end this journal entry, I simply sign my name: William Wagner.
THE END