Scene 1: At Sarah’s House

Sarah: DELILAH! What the heck is your problem!?----Delilah----s-Stop! [Laughs]

Delilah: [waves Phone in the air] Ha! I KNEW IT! I knew it, I knew it, I kneeew it! [giggles excitedly] When did this first start!? You must spill! Spill, girl! Tell me all the details…

[Puts Hand on Forehead You wouldn’t want me to die… Would you!? [falls dramatically onto bed]

Sarah: Oh get up, you oaf! [shoves Delilah] You’re fine…. I’m the one who’s dying here! [Laughs]
Can you imagine? Me.
Shy, quiet, completely normal…me---going out with someone like your brother?! It’s NEVER going to happen. [Sighs] But… a girl can dream can’t she?

Delilah: Don’t you sass me with that--- “I’m-too-normal, nobody-likes-me…” act. You know full well what happened between the two of you the other night, and I expect you, Sarah—as my best friend in the whole world—to spill every teensy weensy detail under the sun!

Sarah: [Glares at Delilah] [Sighs Loudly]

Delilah: [Giggles] Go ahead! Its not like I won’t tease you to death or anything.

Sarah: Oh? [Says Sarcastically] Why would I have any reason to believe that?

Delilah: [Giggles]

Sarah: Oh—FINE! But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

And if you tease me about how I blush constantly onnne more tiiime—

Delilah: Let me guess, [Smiles] you’ll bite my head off?

Sarah: You know me so well…

Scene 2: At the Soccer Field
[Philip enters]
Philip: Hey! Josh! Watch your—

[THUMP] [Backstage crew can create sound by stomping, clapping, or even slapping a real soccer ball.]

[Josh enters]

Josh: PHILIP! [Rubs Back of Neck] What was that, man!? You could’ve taken my head off!

Philip: Sorry, Josh! I don’t know what’s wrong… My aim was fine yesterday.

Josh: {crosses stage} Well you better fix it, and soon! Coach is gonna kill you tomorrow if you keep slamming that ball into everything—BUT the goal.

Philip: I know… I’m trying. It’s just hard to focus, that’s all.

Josh: How late did you go to bed last night? Cause, dude, if that’s the problem—
I’ve got a cup of coffee over there with your name on it. The team needs you to be on your top level tomorrow, Philip.

Philip: Ha! Yeah, thanks for the offer Josh. But I think this has got to do with more than sleep deprivation.

Coach: PHILIP—JOSH—Get your butts back into line! Practice is for drilling—not small talk. LET’S GO!

Philip/Josh: Coming!

Scene 3
[In Delilah’s living room]

Delilah: OH—MY—GOSH! Sarah! Wait until I tell—

Sarah: Don’t you daaare tell him about this, Delilah.

Delilah: AWW! Come on… Why not!? It won’t hurt anything… And besides, I think he feels the same way about you.

Sarah: And HOW, may I ask, did you come by this information? You better not be lying!

Delilah: Of course I’m not lying! He’s my BROTHER… and it’s my job to know exactly where he is, what he’s doing, and who he liiikes at all times.

[Philip and John enter. They are covered in sweat]

Delilah: Oh hey guys! Where were you?

Sarah: [Facepalms]

Philip: Soccer practice—just like every other day this week. And Sis, I’m not sure, but I think that white, square looking thing over there in the yard is your notebook.

Delilah: Your point is?

Philip: It’s like, raining rhinos and elephants.

Delilah: SHOOT!
[Delilah exits at a breakneck run]

John: You’re sister’s crazy. You know that right?

Sarah: [interrupts] Umm… I’m just gonna go, and uh… Help Delilah.

[Sarah exits]

Philip: Thank you for stating the obvious, John. We needed that.

John: Whoa! Dude, I was just making a statement. No need to get all up tight about it.

Philip: I’M NOT UPTIGHT!!! [opens fridge violently and nearly crushes John]

John: [jumps out of the way] Yes you are! Trying to crush someone with a fridge is definitely a sign of uptighted-ness.

Philip: Just stop tal---

John: BINGO! [punches Philip on the arm] I’ve figured it out, man!

Philip: [glares at John]

John: I’m sorry! I’m sorry! But seriously… You like her don’t you?

Philip: Don’t be ridiculous! [blushes]

John: Dear Lord in Heaven! It’s as plain as the makeup on your face!

Philip: I’m not wearing—[puts hand to face] Oh.

John: Exactly. [smiles big] Did you ask her if she likes you? You two should totally go out!

Philip: You’re as bad as Delilah… And No! I did not. Why would she take an interest in somebody like me? I’m like a baby doll made out of sticks and straws!

John: That’s a bit of a stretch man. You’re pretty good lookin’! Maybe not as good looking as meee… but you’re pretty up there.

Philip: [says sardonically] Thanks, John.

John: You’re welcome! Glad I could help. Now ask her out.

Scene 4

[In the Garage]

Sarah: What possessed you to leave your notebook outside!?

Delilah: I don’t know! Maybe an evil dark spirit that wanted me to die at the hand of Mrs. Teasdale. NOW what am I gonna tell her!?

[stands up and puckers chest out]

[speaks in low voice] Delilah. You have failed miserably…. Prepare to face the consequences.

[speaks in high voice] Oh no, dear Mrs. Teasedale! Please don’t send me to prison for life!

[speaks in low voice] No, I wouldn’t do that. How about a lifetime in the electric chair? Sweet and simple.

[speaks in high voice] Noooooo!!!

Sarah: You’re insane…

Delilah: Thank you for noticing. [continues to salvage notebook pages.]

[faint shouting in the backround]

Sarah: What was that?

Delilah: It’s just John and Philip. They’re probably arguing over who has bigger biceps again. All I can say is, John lost that fight.

Sarah: Come on. Let’s go find out, I’m curious.

Delilah: I like the way you think girl.

[Both girls exit. On the way out, Delilah drops a few papers.]


Scene 5

[In the living room]

Philip: No.

John: Yes.

Philip: NO!

John: YES!!

Philip: NOOO!

John: YEEES!!!

Philip: NOOOO---

[Delilah and Sarah enter]
Delilah: WILL YOU GUYS—SHUUUUT UP!?

John: No.

Delilah: [yells in frustration] Augh! Boys are so stupid!! I don’t know why you like him Sarah… [puts hands on mouth.]

{There is an awkward pause and both parties are speechless for a few seconds. If the director wants, he/she could have a little extra fun and put a cricket sound in the background.}

Sarah: [whispers to Delilah] Please tell me you did not just say that.

Delilah: [whispers back] Just did.

Sarah: I’m going to murder you.

Delilah: Figured as much.


John: Hold up! Which one of us?

Delilah: [looks at Sarah for affirmation]

Sarah: Might as well… [blushes bright red]


Delilah: Sarah likes you, Philip, and I told her that you like her back… Sooo that’s that. You two need to go out. John and I will leave you together. Goodbye.

John: But—

Delilah: Come on! [grabs John by the arm and drags him offstage]

Philip: [starts picking at his clothes]

Sarah: [wrings her hands] I-I’m sorry about that. She wasn’t supposed to say anything…

Philip: It’s fine. She wasn’t supposed to tell you either.

Sarah: So we’re good then?

Philip: [grins] I guess we can both agree about something—
My sister is a blabber mouth.

Sarah: [smiles and laughs] Exactly!

Scene 6

John: Do you think we should tell them?

Delilah: What? That we’re dating?

John: Yeah!

Delilah: No. We’ll let them have they’re moment. Don’t want to scare them too much. I mean, we’re both crazy.

John: That’s right. [smiles] Who said opposites attract?

The End