If you asked me what a demon was thirty years ago, I would’ve told you they were evil creatures from hell that turned you into a bad guy and stole your soul. Now I can’t speak for most, but Abraxas is fine. Sure, he’s a demon and doesn’t have a mortal body of his own, but whatever. We all have our flaws. 

My name is Nathan, and my life is ridiculously boring. I wake up, eat the breakfast Abraxas made, get ready for work, go to work, work, come back home, pass out, and let the demon inside me take over. 

Oh right, you don’t know the full logistics of our deal. See demons belong in hell torturing souls or whatever, but sometimes a soul might escape death and come to the mortal world. From there it’s Abraxas’ job to kill whoever is hiding the soul and send them all nicely wrapped back to hell. 

I’m helping this cycle by not bothering Abraxas and just sit in my head like the useless speck of dust I am. It’s what I’m best at anyway. 

‘Hey, that’s not true at all. You are helping me a lot more than that.’ 

Ladies and gentlemen meet Abraxas. I have no idea what he’s doing right now, but I can still talk to him. I don’t know how this works. When either of us take over the body the other is completely shut out. If I decided to exorcize him, he’d have no clue. 

‘Are these the kind of thoughts your entertaining? Exorcizing me? Pfft, lame.’ 

We’re two different personalities, him being upbeat and happy while I could care less about life. It makes it hard to co-exist sometimes. 

‘Ooh your neighbor’s grandma just died. Pretty sure you want to store that little bit of info somewhere.’ 

“Can you buy some brownies for the potluck at work?” I asked the demon controlling me. 

‘Yeah sure. And icing?’ 

“No, we’re good without.” 

And then our paths diverge. He does his demon jobs, occasionally helping me out and sharing anything I might want to know, and I got to rest my part of the mind, or whatever it was. I’m not too into specifics. This was a nice setup. 

My name is Abraxas, and I like to think of myself as a less extreme demon. The kind that would rather form an alliance than crush your hopes and dreams and eat your soul. Hell has changed a lot over the years. With the rise of soul-in-a-bottle and fear-cakes, demons no longer must travel up to earth as much. 

But that doesn’t mean we don’t visit. Sometimes souls escape their judgement in hell and come to earth. It’s my job to flush them out and kill their mortal hosts. 

Imagine scouring the entire world for one person, and even then, you can’t just have a quick and painless kill. They have families and people that might try looking for them again. It’s hard. I got called into the embassy for my next victim who supposedly was near my area. The embassy is a cover for the giant crack that leads to hell. It’s the only rip in the whole planet, so it’s a pretty important area. 

Resting on top of it is Bucking Barnes. It’s a restaurant that serves something close to food. The reviews range from one star to two and it’s frequently visited by homeless men and demons. Meaning it’s the

perfect cover for our operation. 

Stepping in, I rung the service bell three times. This was a sign that the person calling was possessed and the demon inside them was here to collect their mission. 

An old cranky geezer stumbled out of the kitchen and made his way towards me. This was Eligo, the messenger who kept the gap between the crack and the mortal world separate. He was also my boss.  

“So, Corporate’s been lookin’ at yer work kid, and they like what they see. To prove yeh got skills I got you a tough case. Been tryna crack this baby for three hundred or so years. Got the info in the back.” 

Navigating through the forest of dust and old boxes was a chore, especially with this tiny body and giant feet, but we made it to the backroom. Where all the magic happens. 

The room was laced with heavy illusion charms to look like an average storeroom, but if you switch the lights in a certain pattern the magic wore off for a little bit.  

Eligo held a file out for me. Inside held my target and all the information the seers could find out.  

Daniella Porter had straight brown hair formed into an undercut and pulled into a bun. In the picture she wore a hoody with a tiny dog popping out of it. It was a Pomeranian named Popo, which was a dumb name in my opinion. But hey, my job is to reap, not judge. 

Saluting the tired old man, I pocketed the file and walked outside.  

Getting control of the body back from Abraxas is like rising from a tub of slime. It’s sort of sticky and you feel the blissful goo of not being in control snapping off of you. Oh right if you can’t tell I’m Nathan. Sadly. I had work today. I work at a Davidson’s Car Dealership, but I don’t have the natural charisma the car salesmen have. I sit in the back and manage finances with the other losers like me. 

The bus is crowded and dirty and everything wrong in this world, but I don’t have a car anymore.

Somehow it got smashed in North Carolina, which is a whole three days away. 

‘Wow, salty much? I apologized and told you my next paycheck will go to buying you a new one. All you got to do is survive on the meanie bus for a little bit.’ 

After spending too much time being assaulted by elbows, I made it to my stop. Hailing a taxi, I made it to work.  

“NATHANIEL! COME TO MY OFFICE NOW!” 

I felt my shoulders sag as I heard the obnoxious voice. 

“Coming Dad,” I muttered. 

Right, my boss is my dad. How else would I get a respectable job? My better half is a demon! 

“Nathaniel, meet Daniella. She’ll be working with you for a while. Make her feel welcome, okay?” 

And there stood the brightest person I’d ever seen. She was bright and happy and cheerful and everything good in this world. Thank you, Father, for giving me this wonderful job filled with wonderful people.  

‘Woah, what’s going on? Why are you happy all of a sudden?’ 

There was no way I’d be telling Abraxas anything about meeting this new girl. She was my secret.  

“Hey there, I’m Nathan and I can show you around the workspace. Follow me.” 

“Sure, thanks!” 

Being with her was like the giant weight resting on my shoulders had been lifted. Like the gloomy rain around me broke into a rainbow. Everything was alright for a little bit, and I was glad.  

When the day finished, I felt a twinge of sadness. I’d have to wait until tomorrow to talk with her again. Now maybe she picked up on my despair because she turned to me with a perfect smile on her perfect face and held out a slip of paper. 

“Here’s my number. Call me later?” 

I could only nod as I pocketed it and left home. 

I hated this. I was stuck in the body and for the FIRST TIME Nathan refused to share what was going on. He was feeling waves of joy, which shouldn’t be happening. When I first had my eyes on his body, I slowly shut down his happiness. Just enough to see the world in a pretty grey lens.  

And before you yell at me this is one tiny, miniscule issue, and sizing it up with the pros makes his little bout of sadness look invisible. He might not feel the same way, which is why I, ever so graciously, decided to omit this detail from our contract.  

All I need is for him to rely on me. 

But now I was fuming. Someone came along who had more control over his emotions than me? I was INSIDE him! This should not be possible!  

But it was. I had lost control over his emotions. This wasn’t the end of the world as with a little spell I could reel him in. but I don’t want Nathan to start wondering if I was the cause of his depression. 

Ignorance is bliss. 

I knew this was a girl because he was obsessing over someone giving their number, but I didn’t know who it was. I knew they were bad news. Nobody loved Nathan. It was a cold and simple truth. He always pushed away those who tried to. Following that pattern, this girl was trying to play with his feelings and that wasn’t good at all. 

They needed to break up. 

I felt myself growing angrier and angrier, and I almost forcibly took control of the body. Sighing I dove down into his mind to cool off. It wasn’t good to share all my powers just yet. 

She gave me her number! She gave me, Nathan the introvert, her phone number. A direct link to her. I was over the moon with joy. Something I hadn’t felt in years. Throwing myself on the bed I typed her number into my contacts. Feeling risky I added a small smiley face after her name.  

Just that action sent rolls of excitement rushing through me. 

‘Hold on there. What’s got you so happy?’ 

Abraxas was without a doubt my closest friend, but he was also a piece of me. A better piece of me. Funny, outgoing, helping stop evil people. I only wished I could be like him. It was wrong, but I wanted to keep the two of them separate. Daniella was like a little secret I didn’t feel like sharing.  

It felt wrong, but just looking at her number saved to my phone gave me tons of joy. Throwing out her number I gave control to Abraxas. 

The first thing I did with control was look through his phone. I do this a lot, just to make sure he’s being safe. Tons of creeps on the internet who might hurt him. I found the mysterious target’s name easily. He put a little smiley face next to her name. Cute, but also very dumb.  

This is why I can’t leave you alone. 

Daniella : )  

I felt my hands tighten around the phone. This might be a coincidence, but it might not as well. I grabbed my little burner phone and typed in her number. 

It rung once, twice, then it went to voicemail. 

“Hello, you’ve reached Daniella Porter. Please leave a message and I’ll call you shortly. Bye!” 

My target. My body. This was the easiest it had been to find a target, but this was automatically the worst. Nathan would never like watching his “friend” be killed. But Corporate… This was a challenge. Nathan or a job at Corporate. 

My gaze hardened. I’m going to do this for Nathan. Which is why I need to do this without him knowing. 

It had been four month and I was no longer the single, depressed loser I once was. Daniella and I had been going steady and everything was good in the world. Smiling brightly, I got in the back of her motorcycle. That’s right, Nathan is riding a motorcycle with his girlfriend. 

We were going on a date today, and for the first time ever I was the one who planned it. Abraxas and I spent hours trying to make sure nothing would go wrong. A bit overkill but Abraxas was a bit paranoid about these kinds of things. Especially with some new demon hunter walking around. 

“So what is this Bucking Barnes place we’re going to?” Daniella asked me. 

‘Remember to not let her know about me. It’s just a new restaurant you’ve heard of.’ 

“Oh? Just a restaurant I’ve seen on the internet. It looked nice in the pictures.” 

It was not nice looking. It was old and shabby.  

‘Safest place on earth baby! Don’t worry the food is a lot better…’ 

I walked in with Daniella holding my hand, and the inside was not much nicer.  

“…is that guy homeless?” She whispered in my ear. 

“Um, maybe the food is good?” 

The food was not good. A grumpy old man named Eli chucked an inedible steak on my table and hobbled away. It was dry and probably not fully cooked.  

“Let’s get out of here. There must be something wrong,” I whispered to Daniella. 

I paid the bill and left. Daniella was on edge and I felt a pang of nervousness in my chest. This wasn’t Abraxas fault, we probably had very different tastes. 

‘What? She didn’t like it? What a bore, you can do so much better.’ 

Ignoring him I turned to Daniella.  

“Maybe we can salvage this at my place? I have instant ramen and movies if that’s cool with you. If not that’s fine. This date was pretty bad, and I guess the internet isn’t always right?” 

She laughed which brought a huge weight off my chest. Laughing was a good sign. It meant I wasn’t completely screwing up.  

“How about we head to my place? I don’t think your responsible enough to make decisions for us.” 

That hurt, but I was used to it. Abraxas made all the major decisions for me too. These things just weren’t my specialty. With a sigh I summoned my biggest smile and nodded. 

Her apartment was nice. Daniella lived with her grandma, who was terribly scary. When we first entered the door, I felt a knife pressed to my neck. Abraxas’ instincts kicked in and I almost beheaded the old lady! 

“Grandma, stop! This is my boyfriend Nathan and I expect you to be nice to him. We’re here for some of the pie you baked yesterday because our date was completely terrible.” 

“…The pie I baked yesterday? Alright then. My name is Claire, boy, but you’re going to call me Ms. Porter. Follow me to the kitchen alright?” 

‘Nathan? Something’s wrong. Get out of there.’ 

It’s fine. I may have felt a wave of uneasiness, but this was Daniella we’re talking about. She would never hurt me. Abraxas was screaming in my head and it kind of hurt, but I dealt with it.  

“Uh, Ms. Porter? Is that your kitch-“ 

She whipped out a pistol and shoved me in a closet. 

“SHOW YOURSELF DEMON!” 

‘NATHAN YOU IDIOT! I TOLD YOU TO RUN!’ 

Everyone was screaming. Claire wanted Abraxas to come out, Abraxas wanted me to get out, and what did I want? I really, really wanted to get home. The stress was way too much, and I felt the tears pouring out. Where was Daniella? 

And then she appeared. Like a holy beacon of light, she made everyone stop screaming. 

“That won’t help Grandma. This guy is too naïve, like a baby. He’s the type to think they can make friends with a demon. We’ve got to kill him now.” 

Her words made me freeze. Daniella? This was not Daniella. Daniella was nice, and bright, and funny, and good, and perfect. Way too perfect to be real. And because I was an idiot, I forgot that she was too good to be with me. 

But what did I do now? These guys were nutjobs and I couldn’t get Abraxas to help me since he was stuck inside. That’s when I felt it, a slow and steady buzz in my left hand. Looking over I saw a small, dark circle. Instinctively I slammed it into Claire Porter’s forehead, blasting her through a couple walls.

Daniella turned to me in shock. 

“W-What did you just do?” She cried. 

I automatically knew I messed up. I might’ve just killed someone! An old lady! I would go to jail for murder and get beaten up there and ruin everything! 

“I-I don’t know! It..it just happened! Is she alright?” 

Daniella slowly put down the gun and backed away from me. I felt like I was going to puke. She ran to her grandmother and felt her pulse. 

“She’s alive, but she needs a hospital. Look Nathan, I’m sorry about killing you. I just thought you were too far gone and couldn’t be exorcized. And I know it seems like I’m just trying to get away now that you have the upper hand, but I’m not. I really do love you.” 

‘If she loved you why did she try to kill you? Nathan, Daniella Porter is not the good person you think she is. In fact, she’s my next target.’ 

My mind was buzzing. This was too much. All I knew was that I needed to grow up and leave this place.  

“You take your grandma to the hospital and I’m leaving. Don’t bother looking for me or something bad

will happen to you.” 

I hoped that was ominous enough and ran away as fast as I could. I blew all my money on a single ticket and got on the train. Sitting in the back I confronted my next problem. My best friend was going to kill my ex-girlfriend. 

‘Nathan, you seriously weren’t supposed to find out about this. It’s all her fault, so you should just forget about her and move on.’ 

“I can’t move on Abraxas! Everyone has been lying to me and honestly I don’t know who to believe!” 

‘Your speaking out loud…’ 

“I don’t care! You lied, Daniella lied. And because you lied, I almost died!” 

‘Now that’s not true at all. You may be mad at me, but I have always been there watching over everything you do. I protected you from all the dangers in this world and who do you think gave you those powers to defeat Claire? Me, that’s who. I’ve done all of this for you so stop being ungrateful and go home before I make you.’ 

Everyone in my life controlled what I did. I wasn’t smart enough to be left on my own. I wasn’t responsible enough to plan anything on my own. 

“No! I’ve had enough! First you are going to tell me everything you’ve ever lied about, then we are going to set rules on how much your allowed to interfere with my life. You try to lie or cheat me, and I won’t hesitate on getting you exorcized!” 

I knew he was getting angry and the others on the train were getting uneasy, but for once I didn’t care. I was going to fix my life all on my own. 

‘Okay, but let’s find somewhere more private first.’ 

Nathan took us to a desolate kid’s park. He sat on the slide and glared straight ahead. I never remembered him being this rash or hardheaded. Just goes to show how much her being here changed him. 

‘This is the most important mission of my career, you know? If I bag this one, I can join Corporate and get my own body with my own abilities. All I had to do was kill Daniella Porter. I had no idea you two would meet and start dating. See, Daniella and her grandmother are the demon hunters I told you about. Daniella was killed by a demon and died, but her grandmother was able to resurrect her. She probably figured out I was inside you and decided to get closer to you. On your date I told you to go to Bucking Barnes which is a demon hub. From there I was able to put a locating charm on her and show my boss Eligo I could control the target. Daniella recognized the demons were near and decided to bring you home and kill us both, that is until you attacked her grandmother.’ 

Nathan nodded. 

“But how did you give me your powers? You can only do that when you have control of the body” 

‘As a demon I can…forcibly control the body when I deem it necessary. I controlled your hand and gave you a fraction of my power so you could kill her.’ 

Telling him all my secrets made me feel bare and naked. I lost some of my most powerful tools, but I knew if he felt like something was suspicious, he would immediately exorcise me. His resolve was stronger than it had ever been. He was no longer the kid I once had complete control over, but a fully capable adult.  

“Do you know where Daniella is now?” He asked. 

‘She’s at the hospital. She hasn’t left.’ 

“I can’t let you kill her Abraxas. She may have used me, but I still care. I’m going to tell her everything that happened and move far, far away. You can have another chance at Corporate.” 

‘I understand. I’m just glad you trust me again.’ 

No! My chance was right there, and I couldn’t just let it go, but if I tried to kill her Nathan would kill me. I had to sort out my priorities and figure out what I wanted more. 

After the talk with Abraxas I calmed down and realized something. I don’t have any money. I wasn’t too far away from home, half an hour taxi, but I had no money. 

‘I can deal with that. Just find a taxi.’ 

I kept forgetting how powerful a demon really was. I was completely blinded by the fact he was acting so nice to me and missed how much he kept in the dark. Finding a taxi I went home. Abraxas did one of his hypnosis stunts. Once I would write them off as a useful benefit but now, I realized how powerful and unchecked he really was. 

Falling into my bed I sighed. This was the longest day I’d ever had.  

‘Nathan, she’s at your door.’ 

It was the middle of the night and I still had control? I suppose Abraxas didn’t want to make me worry. 

I felt the same ball light up in my left hand as I opened the door. There stood Daniella like he said, but this time she sported giant eye bags and dripping mascara. Her eyes were red from the fresh tears and once perfect hair was tied into a knotted and messy bun. 

She was a mess, but also very powerful. Now that I knew it, I felt more like a demon than a human, and Daniella was radiating bloodlust on another level. 

“What do-?” 

“Come with me. Now.” 

She dragged me to the roof, and Abraxas stayed silent. He finally trusted me to handle this myself. 

On the roof she unleashed her full anger directly at me. 

“My grandmother is alive, but in a coma. Doctors say she’s probably too old to wake up.” 

“Daniella I’m-“ 

“No! You shouldn’t be. We tried to kill you first, so her death would just be an unfortunate karma, right? But you’re not innocent Nathan! How about all the murders Abraxas has committed and you turned a blind eye because it was ‘justice’? Do you even know that many of the people he kills are just unfortunate victims who were at the wrong place at the wrong time?” 

Daniella was right, I completely ignored that Abraxas was taking human lives. I didn’t care about any of

them until it was someone I knew. It was wrong. 

But Daniella didn’t care about my newfound empathy. She was completely hysterical, and sometime during her rant she pulled out a pocketknife. I felt a wave of uneasiness wash over me. I doubted that would kill me, but the look in her eyes made me know I wasn’t getting out of this painlessly. 

“My parents weren’t even hunters. They broke free from the cycle our family forced onto them and lived demon free. We were happy together, the three of us. I didn’t even know demons existed, until one of them came into our house and killed all of us in our beds. And guess which demon it was!” 

I paled. Abraxas did what? 

‘Not me! This is the first time I’ve heard of this.’ 

“Eligo, the demon guarding the rift between our worlds.” 

Oh. 

“And your demon’s boss! I know I could never match up with his power right now, but I could get rid of all the other demons! They hunt down humans and write it off only for the survival of themselves. Just because the rest of my family were demon hunters, they decided to kill the only three that weren’t.” 

She was steadily advancing towards me, and her speech struck my heart. I knew she was hurting; I would do the same.  

But self-preservation was more important. Abraxas took control of my arms and we fought it out. Daniella had years to practice and enhance her fighting skills while I’d barely gotten into a tussle before. I was completely reliant on Abraxas’ speed and strength. 

The fight was a series of slashes, jabs, and dodges. Unlike Claire, Daniella wasn’t burdened by age and her determination and fury made her all that stronger. Landing a real hit was a challenge. 

I would try to connect my palm to her face, and she would duck, slashing her tiny knife. Neither of us got any good hits until she managed to trip me with her foot. Before I connected with the floor, I felt the

sharp and excruciating pain of the knife being slammed into my back.  

The pain was unbearable for someone like me. Screaming, I grabbed her legs and yanked them forward making her fall on her back. Just then my palms erupted and blasted both her ankles. Getting out of my grasp she now had two black handprints over her legs. 

Daniella couldn’t stand anymore, yet instead of trying to escape she attempted to lunge forward.  

I barely recognized what happened, but I felt myself lose control and Abraxas run away from the building. Next thing I knew we were in bed and comfortable.  

I awoke to the sound of the police knocking at our door. They had found Daniella’s body on the road. Before I could panic and confess, I was forced out of control. I had been in bed the whole night and the security cameras could prove this. The camera footage had been edited, courtesy of Corporate, and my name wasn’t even included in the report. 

I felt sick and angry. I barely knew what to do with myself now. I was a murderer. I was waiting for Abraxas’ reply. What to do next, but then I realized… 

My head was completely empty. Abraxas was no longer inside of me. I had full control of my body. After years of being constantly monitored, this was the biggest breath of freedom I had ever felt. 

Laughing, I stared in the mirror. I could do whatever I wanted. A tattoo? Sure! Buy a house? I could work to get one, I guess. I had the reins on my own life finally. 

My name is Abraxas, and I am a demon. We collect souls that escape our grip and kill people we don’t like. Saying that our newer inventions keep demons and humans safe is a lie. I’ve hurt and hurt all in the form of love and protection. Another lie. While Daniella was talking, I realized the truth. I was so selfish I blinded myself on what Nathan truly needed and only focused on what I could do to succeed. Even when I pretended to think about what was right for him, I subconsciously made myself the only one who benefits from our deal. I’ve been nothing but a burden in his life disguised as a blessing. And in that moment when I watched Daniella falling from the roof and hitting the ground, I realized it. 

If I was around Nathan would never be able to grow. 

With her death I finally had the power to do what I should’ve done so long ago. I left the body. 

I have a wife and baby son who are my world. I no longer hole up in the backroom riding on my father’s dealership, in fact I was now the manager of the finance department. Claire didn’t wake up, but at least

she died believing her granddaughter was alive.  

Speaking of Daniella, I stood at her grave placing a small bouquet of flowers in front of her tombstone. Beside me was Abraxas in his new human form. We didn’t see each other as much but he would come and visit around holidays. 

I don’t think my previous decisions are bad. I hurt people simply but choosing not to accept the truth, but in doing so I made myself stronger. I’m at peace with myself and my inner conflict had ended, and I’m glad. I wouldn’t trade the people in my life for anything. 

“Hey. Why are you zoning out?” Abraxas asked, nudging my side. 

“Ah? No, it’s nothing.” 

“Hm, fine then. I found this new restaurant near here we can check out.” 

I nodded and got into the car. 

“Sure.”