Thud - thud - thud. 

She's inching closer, and even in this silent house her footsteps are echoing. Yes, even in this hollow eerie silence her footsteps are echoing when it should be the voices in my head that are supposed to scream- that are supposed to have all my attention, that are supposed to echo. Because that's their chore. She's coming here, almost there at my doorstep. What am I supposed to do? Who will help me now? This house doesn't have anyone- this house is not my home. Although I never liked it there, I do miss home. I miss mom. If she was here, she would have tried saving me. Save me. She has stopped walking. That means, she's here, right across my door. I don't know what to do. She'll kill me. She will, I know her better than anyone. She's my sister after all. I wish I could change my past, but if i could then the only difference that separates present from past would've lost its significance. 

The door is creaking, she's coming in. She's coming in. What should I do? Where should I go? I don't even have any window here, I can't even run away! Here - here - here - she's here, i can see her bare feet. She's still wearing her nightgown, but it isn't white as usual. It's red. Bloody red. Her slender fingers perfectly curl around the new santoku knife. I can't breathe. Face the consequences - it's you who did this to yourself. 

"Why?" I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was wrong. Forgive me, please. "Why did you do this to me?" I didn't do it intentionally. I just- "why? Answer me." She's still calm. After all the things I did. Or maybe it's just the calm before the storm - no, it's the calm before the tsunami. With every increasing heartbeat of mine, she's stepping closer to my bed. 

Closer 

Closer 

Closer 

Here, she's here. Right in front of me. Funny, how death is lurking right in front of me and I'm sitting here- frozen. Not a single tear is coming out of my eyes, when my insides are going crazy. My head hurts, I shouldn't think this much. It was not my fault, I shouldn't panic. I was just playing around, I didn't mean to destroy her happiness. "Why did you kill me?" I did not. Stop. "Why did you kill my smile?" Because you were living a better life than me. You had everyone's attention, their praise was for you. It was just you who mattered to them. I hate you. "I'll kill you tonight." 

She is holding the knife right over her head. So with a swift motion of her hand she can slide it through me. I'm not going to let that happen. I rose up pushing her away from me. I feel a sudden pain in my lower abdomen. She punched me. I grab a fist full of her hair and when she moans, I snatch the knife away from her. Now is my chance to free myself away from her. From this house. From this family - who doesn't even belong to me. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now is the right time to flip the coin and see its other face. I strengthen my grip on the knife and with the fastest velocity of my hand I slide it through her. Piercing her belly, it swiftly goes inside. The motion is so swift, her belly is so soft and the blood is so warm, that when it's moving inside I don't feel any unease. Her red nightgown now looks even better with the actual blood, her own blood. My hand feels warm and I freeze again once it's completely inside her. Blood is dripping off of my hand and her stomach. Her eyes are wide open, so is her mouth. Veins are bursting in her eyes, making her eyes red. Bloody red. I don't shed any tears, the way she didn't when they made fun of me - when they left me - when they rejected me. Instead I smile, I smile the widest smile that I have and suddenly her devilish laugh echoes and I think of the times when I cried and she laughed at me. So I laugh and now that's what echoes at my house. 

She falls down, like a withered lifeless leaf. The only difference is that the withered leaf didn't deserve death unlike her. I know, I'm no one to punish someone for their deeds - for their bad deeds - but I still don't regret it. Every single person who has ever laughed at someone's misery deserves death. So what if I tried taking revenge by leaking her videos where she was getting high with those weeds? So what? I did what I had to do and right now what I urgently need to do is clear the corpse and stains. Is it safe to share my secret here? I haven't done anything wrong and so I shouldn't worry. Right? 

After all these years of that incident, my house is still silent. I'm free of the voices that scream inside. My house still buries her corpse. My house still keeps my secret. The thing that still hasn't changed is, my house is still not my home and it doesn't have anyone.