By Haley Shirk

The world is so scary, the people are disgusting. I’m Paul Gold and I live in a one-bedroom apartment but not like those small ones. I got space or enough at least, if you walk in the front door, you’ll see a room to your right, that is my room. I wouldn’t say it’s the safest place to be. What happens if someone breaks in and the first thing, they see is a grown man asleep in bed, it scares me if I’m being honest. But if you walk a little down the hall, you’ll see I don’t really have many pictures because it’s a safety hazard, what happens if an earthquake hits and the glass cuts me, I don’t know it’s scary. If you look to the left all there is only the kitchen, and I don’t keep anything in there that could hurt me. My biggest fear is the world because there are so many scary things that could hurt you. I could drop dead at any moment.

I’m Paul Gold and I suffer from Pantophobia, which refers to a widespread fear of everything. I don’t like to go outside so my apartment is converted to a safe house so no one can find me. I try to stay safe at all costs possible. The government is after me, they are always watching me, I don’t know why they're doing this, but they have been since I was born, they are always there. If I stay alone and in my own space, I should be ok. I started this manifesto on September 21, 2025, so if anything happens to me, they can read this.

It's September 26 and I must leave the house today. I need to hide my appearance so I can’t be seen by whomever is watching. I’m wearing black jeans and a shirt with a small design. I’m trying to blend in as much as possible because if I stick out, they may find me again. The sunglasses are to hide my face, the less they see the stealthier I can be. It’s time for me to leave now. I’m scared for my life, but I have taken all the necessary precautions. I reach my hand out to the door scared to meet the outdoors. I hold the knob in my hand, its cold touch against my skin. I turn it slowly and swing the door open. Loud it's so loud. Cars racing by, honking at every little thing. I walk out the door putting one foot in front of the other not knowing where it will take me yet. I slowly step down the street taking short strides, so I don’t look like I’m rushing, my heart is pounding not knowing if they see me. On the way to the market, I pass a lot of normal-looking people with dogs and work clothes on, I turn my head around slightly to see if anyone is behind me. There is a tall man walking at about the same pace as me. Not knowing if he is following me, I cross the street trying to break away from his reach and keep an eye on him, either way I need to be on the side of the street the market is on, so it is quicker this way.

Finally, I reach the market; it is not big, but it has all the essentials: fruits and all the other basic food groups. I look behind me and see the man from before standing right next to me I nearly jump out of my own skin my heart is beating a mile a minute and I don’t know what to do, so I turn to walk away but I feel a hand on my shoulder my instinct told me to run they had found me I didn’t know who they were or what they wanted but I was found I ran and ran until I couldn’t anymore I reached my door hands shaken trying to put the key in the hole I drop it a look behind me and notice all the cameras around my neighborhood they were watching me this whole time I pick up my key and unlock the door I go inside and lock all the locks I fell to the floor I don’t know what to do.

                It's September 28 and I haven’t left my room since Monday I nailed my door shut and painted my windows black, I will not leave this room I keep telling myself they are going find me they're going to get in I think I have to end it before they get me, I have to make sure they can’t see me.     

It's November 1st now and I still have not left my room. I am running out of food and water I am getting tired…November 9th, declared dead at 9:49 pm, the deceased Paul Gold, 26-year-old male, cause of death: suicide.