Just Desserts | Teen Ink

Just Desserts

September 8, 2009
By Shadowjelo BRONZE, Fairfield, California
Shadowjelo BRONZE, Fairfield, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Phoebe parked her car in the slot nearest to the unmarked building. She sat in silence for over five minutes, thinking over and over how she could easily drive away and not face the pain she knew she was about to encounter. After a long moment, Phoebe finally unbuckled her seat belt and forced herself out of the red beat up old Camery. She slowed her pace when she was steps away from the door, steadying her thoughts and trying to focus on the sound of her feet hitting the concrete beneath her.

As she reached the door, Phoebe pulled put the crumpled envelope from her pocket, unfolded it, and grabbed the plain bronze key from inside. With that key, she unlocked the blacked out glass door and walked inside cautiously as if expecting a cougar to come out and pounce. She entered the vacant warehouse and glanced around. There was a small simple desk with a fold out chair and a table lamp, which looked like dollhouse furniture in such a huge place. Atop of the desk was tons of letters never been opened with "Send back to Sender" stamped in blood red on each aging envelope. Phoebe starts going through the letters recognizing them from when they were sent to her years ago.

"You made it.", said a voice behind her. Phoebe jumps startled.

"Yes, though I've had my second thoughts.", said Phoebe with a bite in her voice. She turned around seeing the owner of the voice. As she suspected, it was the same man that abandoned her when she was nine. Her father, a balding man with average height, and bags under his eyes that looked like they were owned by a man who hasn't slept in decades.

"I never got to apolog-", started Phoebe's father.

"I know." Silence filled the room like a deadly gas, making Phoebe want to puke.

"You know, even if you did say sorry, it wouldn't make me fill any better.", Phoebe barely got out the words, before she broke down entirely.

"Oh, please don't cry. You know I didn't mea-"

"You killed my mother!", Phoebe screamed. "I can never forgive you for that!"
The room was once again silent, except for Phoebe's sobs.

"It was a stupid mistake. I loved your mother... and you. If I could take it back, I would.", claimed the man in his calm steady voice. "I just want us to be close again, like we were 33 years ago." Phoebe didn't respond until she controlled her crying.

"No. You will never get close to me.", Phoebe claimed, then with a one swift motion pulled a gun out of her back pocket and pointed to the old man. "If I had it my way, you would never been released from prison! 30 years for manslaughter? I would have said life!" Phoebe's shouts echoed though out the room. The man's voice begins to tremble, now terrified for his life.

"Phebs-", he began.

"Shut up!"

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorrys wont bring her back.", claimed Phoebe in a normal voice.
"Don't shoot me, you don't want to be like me. Phebs, you're naturally good and sweet. It's you're human nature.", he began to sweat beads from his forehead. "Please don't. You're not like me."

"Well, you know what they say.", Phoebe said coldly. "Like father, like daughter." And thats when she pulled the trigger.



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This article has 4 comments.


on Apr. 13 2010 at 7:50 pm
vampiresrock GOLD, Cornish, New Hampshire
12 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you oranges, make grape juice and sit back and let the world wounder how the hell you just did that.

Wow...very good!

on Feb. 6 2010 at 11:09 pm
HeyAmanda SILVER, Rancho Cucamonga, California
8 articles 0 photos 47 comments
five stars!!!

on Sep. 26 2009 at 9:33 am
i loved it!! its amazing

kamenice said...
on Sep. 24 2009 at 4:32 pm
I found this story interesting, with a great suspense. One problem I found was tense- shifting. It starts out in past tense, and then in the sentence, "Phoebe starts going through the letters..." is present tense, and continues along to the next sentence, but after that, the story switches back to past tense. Also, there were a few other grammatical errors. One of my favorite parts was the last sentence, "And thats when she pulled the trigger." I like this, because it leaves you dangling, wondering what happened to the father. Overall, I would rate this five out of five stars.