Smell of fear | Teen Ink

Smell of fear

September 28, 2009
By chrabella BRONZE, Moraga, California
chrabella BRONZE, Moraga, California
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

CR. . . A . . .A . . . C . . . K! ! ! Lights flicker, then all is black in the house. All of a sudden Boyd, the 300 year old Douglas Fir, crashes down. Once 80 feet tall, he breaks at the base of his rotted trunk. Slipping down the hillside, fiercely ripping through a madrone and an oak tree on his way. My eyes are pulled to the window. Boyd hits the power lines, sending sparks into the majestic moon-filled sky. Blue electric flashes mix with green, brightening the sky. Smoke rises from the scene of this crime. A soft, gray puff here and there. I am alone. In the dark. No cell phone service. No one to hear a call for help. No time to think. All I can do is run, run far away or stay and try to help. Danger lurks on both sides. If I leave a fire can sizzle across the valley, melting everything in its path. If I stay, my efforts to stop a fire risks my life.

I choose to run. I leap out of the house, desperate to reach the road a half a mile away in hope of help there. I sprint, slipping down the rocky hillside. A jagged rock trips me, slicing my knee as I fall to the hard dirt. Warm blood streams down my leg. I feel its wetness. I can’t feel the pain. I will save the valley and myself. I have no time to think of anything else. Ahead I see the road. It feels close, yet also too far away.

I smell smoke in the air. A smell that I used to love, now it smells like death and fear. The smell of innocent trees burning, dying a slow painful death as they shrivel and blacken. Quivering squirrels and rabbits leaping and darting to avoid their flaming death. Insects flying into their last moment of life, sheer wings melting. Night of judgment. Night when everything changes in a blink of an eye. I am sprinting faster now, the wind rushing through my hair, the moon blazing down on me, showing me the way. There the road is. I am finally there . . . . BAM!!


The author's comments:
This was for my short story english class seminar. It is called Flashfiction

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This article has 6 comments.


hanksa said...
on Oct. 22 2009 at 1:20 pm
I really enjoyed this story for its sense of adventure and mainly the descriptions. They were very detailed, I felt as if I was there. Like when you said "sending sparks into the majestic moon filled sky." Also when u feel and cut your leg I thought that added suspense to your story, seeing if you were going to make it back in time to save the forest. Hope to read more.

spray said...
on Oct. 22 2009 at 12:34 pm
spray, Albuquerque, New Mexico
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
i realy liked this story beacuase its verry detailed and very relative.

shebinej said...
on Oct. 16 2009 at 8:27 am
I really enjoyed this story for its sense of adventure and mainly the descriptions. They were very detailed, I felt as if I was there. Like when you said "sending sparks into the majestic moon filled sky." Also when u feel and cut your leg I thought that added suspense to your story, seeing if you were going to make it back in time to save the forest. Hope to read more.

maree-ann33 said...
on Oct. 15 2009 at 12:39 pm
i really like thus book. it sounds soo cool..im going to get it and read it.

WoodrowS said...
on Oct. 12 2009 at 8:36 pm
I like how detailed this short story is. The descriptions in it make it more interesting. I enjoyed how you described the 300 yr. old tree "Boyd" falling so vividly. Also, I like the intensity you put into this piece. However, I don't understand the last sentence: "I am finally there. . . .BAM!!" What happens there? Besides that, the piece was great!

on Oct. 9 2009 at 9:46 am
This book sounds like a interesting book. At the end of the review it leaves you hanging and thats what makes you want to read this book. This book sounds like an unpredictable mystery. When one thing happens you never know that the next thing that is coming is about to happen and I love books that are unpredictable and mystery-like.