I’m not really sure how I got here. I woke up and I was here, so I suppose that this is where I am supposed to be. At some point I must have decided that this was the place that I would sleep. I probably saw some sort of merit in it that I am missing now, but people always say you should trust your instincts. It doesn’t really matter though. Eventually I’ll fall back asleep and I’ll wake up somewhere else. Maybe I’ll enjoy it more, wherever that is. Maybe it won’t smell so much. Maybe I won’t be so cold. Maybe my head won’t be throbbing and pulsing and beating and crying and wanting to jump off of my shoulders entirely.

I was doing something before I slept; actually it was a long time before I slept. It might have been a few days ago, but I’m not really sure anymore. It’s cold and my dress is wet. It must have rained last night. I think I was home a little while ago, or it seemed like home, most of it at least. Some of it seemed like something else entirely. I remember it was warm. It was warm and there was food and there was a bed and there was a song on the radio that made me dizzy and have to sit down for a bit. I can’t remember the name of that song. Oh, hold on. Annette wants to speak now.


“Annette?”

“What do you want, Amy? I was sleeping.”

“You said you wanted to say something.”

“I changed my mind. Sleep is more enticing.”

“You can’t just sleep all day, it’s been a while. I’m tired too.”

“…Fine. But only for a little.”


What was she talking about this time? Dear god, the nonsense this girl spouts. It’s all conversation that goes absolutely nowhere all said with the pristine voice of a string pulled baby doll. It’s endearing, but undeniably annoying at times. She was talking about where she was sleeping again. I suppose at some point she’ll figure out that no one really cares. We shouldn’t have left home. That was stupid, especially at this time of year. The rain doesn’t look like it will be gone for long. No, home was a good place to be even if he is still there. It’s not as bad as she keeps trying to say it is, honestly I think she’s just a cry baby. Or at least, she’s been one for as long as I’ve known her. I knew her brother too at one point. He was a good kid, but I can’t remember his name much; Joshua or something I think. He never told anyone that I had snuck in since I had nowhere else to go. He watched out for me and made sure that no one ever found me. It really is a shame now that I think about it. I wasn’t around at the time, I think I was asleep but if I hadn’t been I’m sure I could have done something.


“What are you doing?”

“Amy asked me to talk for a little while. She said she was tired.”

“Why didn’t she ask me?”

“Because I was here first Elsie, now shove off. I’m awake now I might as well.”

“She should have asked me.”

“Do you ever shut up?”

“I’m just saying…”

“I know what you’re saying. Will it make you happy if I let you talk for a little while?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I guess I could stand to take a nap anyway. Just don’t go overboard.”


I don’t know why she says that every time she lets me talk. Don’t go overboard Elsie, people can’t stand your sunny attitude Elsie. It’s like she’s telling me that people have forgotten how to smile. I like to make people smile. Amy’s Mom liked it when I made her smile and I could make her smile just like that. I would make her something at school and when I brought it home she got a smile on her face that was as big as a rainbow! She never knew that I made it though, so keep it a secret, Kay? Of course he never liked whatever I made. He didn’t like anything at all really. All He did was sit there most days watching TV and yelling at the screen. Other days he went out and came back late. I always knew whenever he came home. I always went to sleep whenever he came home…

But he’s not important anymore. We left a couple of days ago and I think I found a pretty good place for us. They say that they don’t like it, but I think they just need to get used to it a little bit. Any place can become a palace so long as you add a little bit of tender loving care.


“What in the world are you talking about?”

“You said you would let me talk.”

“Not about any of that.”

“Then what am I supposed to talk about?”

“I don’t know. What you talk about all the time. Puppies, flowers, you know, sentimental crap.”

“Can you two stop arguing? I’m trying to sleep now.”

“See what you did, Elsie? You woke her up.”

“I’m sorry; you know I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s fine really. I just want to sleep for a little. Let Annette talk for a while. She’s quieter.”


Wait, where was I? God I hate it when she does this. My job to talk once more, just when I thought I had gotten a little bit of privacy. I guess I shouldn’t argue though, I don’t get many chances as it is. Elsie is just too damn chipper and talks too much about things she shouldn’t. Still, since she brought it up I guess I should clarify. Yes, he was a good for nothing. Yes, he used to come home drunk. That’s when Elsie got scared. That’s when Elsie had to go away for a little bit. I don’t really blame her. I couldn’t hide of course. Amy and Elsie count on me not to. If I don’t hide then they get to. That’s the deal. That’s what was decided at some point. I don’t really remember when that was decided, but I don’t complain. It’s worth it to let them hide. I just wish that Joshua or whatever his name was hadn’t tried to screw up our deal.


“Are you talking about Jeremy?”

“Oh yeah, that was his name wasn’t it?”

“How could you have forgotten his name?”

“It just slipped my mind. Things tend to do that these days.”

“Why were you talking about him?”

“No reason actually, I can stop if you’d like.”

“…No, its fine I guess.”

“I want to finish!”

“I was in the middle of something. You can have your turn later.”

“I want it now though!”

“Do you know the story of the little girl who would never shut up?”

“No, we never got that far. I always fell asleep during the stories of the girl who was so damned selfish she could never anyone to love her. Then end. The story ends with her crying in a stairwell actually. I’m sure you’d love it.”

“Fine, Talk to your hearts content, see if I care. Is that ok with you Amy?”

“I don’t see a problem; just try to stay calm Elsie. My nap doesn’t seem to be going too well.”


Kayso, Annette was talking about Jeremy? I loved Jeremy! He was so nice to me. He was Amy’s younger brother, but he was about my age give or take a year. She never did tell me how old he was all I know was that Jeremy snuck me cookies sometimes when Amy’s mom wasn’t looking. And sometimes when that man came home, Jeremy would grab me by the hand and lead me outside to play a game of hide and seek. He always took so long to find me, but that’s ok really because he would eventually. He was terrible at that game. Still, that man didn’t like it when we played those games. He would come outside looking for us usually but I wouldn’t budge because Jeremy was supposed to be the one to find me because that’s how the game works see? But one time the man did find me first which was against the rules. Jeremy had found our spot soon after, but I had already hidden again. Annette says that Jeremy was upset that he couldn’t find me. Annette says that the reason Jeremy picked up that big stick and hit the man over the head was because he thought the man had hidden me from him. She said that Jeremy was too weak to actually do anything and so when the man only got angry all Jeremy could do was stand there. I don’t know why Jeremy just stood there…


“Are you done yet, Elsie?”

“I don’t think I want to talk anymore…”


“What? After you made such a big deal about it? Come on. A girl your age should at least be able to handle this much.”

“No…”

“Don’t make her talk if she doesn’t want to.”

“You need to stop enabling her.”

“It’s fine. I’ll finish.”


Yes Jeremy hit the man with a stick. Yes the man got angry. Yes the man charged at Jeremy. I remember these things because I saw it happen. Jeremy didn’t know how to fight a man, not that I blame him. Jeremy was too small compared to the bear that mauled him; the one that picked him up and shook him, the one that broke him and tossed his shattered body in to the bushes. There was nothing he could have done.

“He was stupid for trying.”

“He was trying to find me!”

“It’s fine because we aren’t there anymore, right? He can’t hurt Jeremy anymore anyway and he can’t hurt us.”

“It really is cold here though.”

“I’ll make sure the next place is somewhere fun, kay?”