Demons in the Clear | Teen Ink

Demons in the Clear

March 10, 2011
By BlackBaroness BRONZE, Kampala, Other
BlackBaroness BRONZE, Kampala, Other
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;It&#039;s never that serious.&quot;<br /> Anonymous


He froze.
This was worse than the movies.
Way worse.
He didn’t know what to do.
He didn’t know what he did.
He stared down at the naked lifeless body that lay between the creased, blood stained mess, that was his bed. His gaze lingered over to the messy mass of long blonde hair that flowed over the edge of the bed.
He turned to the dirty wall of the trailer, banging his head frantically against it, trying to keep the voices out.
You could lose control again, Joe. Another innocent life could pay the price for your demons.
But he couldn’t have. He hadn’t used in about three months. There was no way—
And there it was.
Sprawled across the broken coffee table.
Two thin, untidy lines of white powder next to a couple of neatly folded dollar bills.
He grabbed the first item next to him and hurled it across the trailer, a loud bawl escaping his mouth.
He paced up and down, tears running down his cheeks. It was irrefutable.
He had killed.
Again.


The author's comments:
Any comments:positive and negative, are welcome. For learning benefit.

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This article has 3 comments.


Wyne said...
on Mar. 23 2011 at 12:52 am
babe, i loved it. stop giving us titbits! i want the whole story....

Kels said...
on Mar. 22 2011 at 3:35 pm

Good flash fiction (300 words.  Ish).

Could have gone into more detail about the victim - "Joe's gaze trailed the body - from the blonde  hair to the fit arms to the blah blah blah.  She had had a life.  Who was she?  Who had she been?"


PJD17 SILVER said...
on Mar. 20 2011 at 12:56 pm
PJD17 SILVER, Belleville, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 624 comments

Favorite Quote:
I do the best imatation of myself- Ben Folds

very dark story, but thats not a critisism  i liked it   it was interesting and well written  i'd appreciate it if you could take a look at and comment on some of my work