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Exactly How I Became a Monster
The wood creaked on the floors, as my size 13 boots pounded along the floor. Slowly I made my way across the bedroom, trying to make sure that I didn’t make a single sound, to wake our child. I couldn’t bare the guilt, the pressure, the overwhelming feel of regret, the over bearing feeling of loneliness. How can someone commit such a crime as I have, how can someone be so heartless as I.
As I made my way to the bed room door, I heard the patter of little feet. “Daddy?” I heard the soft voice of a child. Could I look him in the eyes? Could I confess to the horror, and sin I had just committed? “Daddy what’s wrong?” I could hear his voice breaking through my ears, and soon that voice came out my eyes as tears, I could only do what any brave man would do confront his child. “Come here son.” “Daddy are you ok?” he spoke to me, the voice of a child so soft, so sweet, so tender, how could I be the one to tear away the preciousness. “Daniel, just get your coat on, you’re going to mom-moms house.” “But daddy I just got back from mom-moms-” I cut him off, with a scream “Just get your coat on!” the silence struck the room like lightning. I couldn’t bear to watch as Daniel went to grab his coat, knowing that this would be the last time I would ever see my son.
For the past 6 years, I have groomed the boy to become a person of greatness, he would always say “Daddy, when I grow up, I want to be just like you.” Now that sentence is thrown to waste. For six years, the care and affection I’ve given to the child I have thrown away because I am selfish, and did not think of the reprocutions of my actions, on my own child.
I walked over to my wife, she lay still, unwary, it was uncomfortable. I lay my hand upon her forehead; slowly I stroked back her soft blonde hair. Good night my angel, I am sorry for what I have done, you are in a better place now, away from the abusive monster I am, away from the stress I create for you, away from everything. I love you forever and always. “Daddy, can I say bye to mommy before we go?” he spoke from the center of the door way. “Sure Daniel come here.” I picked him up, and then he spoke the words “I love you mommy, I’ll see you later.”
I carried him out the front door and into the car. We sat silent as if we were in the room, his short black hair, his big orange coat, I could see every feature of myself in him. We had always been compared too as twins, he was always outgoing, kind and generous. He was not destructive, he was not a monster, he was innocent. I pulled out Daniel, and I took him up to the door step. “Now Daniel, stay here, and tell grandma to send the doctors to our house.” I asked him to do. “Ok daddy, I will.” I kissed him on the cheek, it was cold. “I love you Daniel, always know that, no matter what happens, me and mommy will always love you, and you did nothing wrong.” Daniel shook his head in agreement. I rang the door bell, kissed him on the cheek, and ran away. I ran away from my problems, just like a coward. I am not a brave man, I am a criminal, and I need to be punished for such. I turned my car around on the road, I knew that what I needed to do was go to a place where I could be evaluated, and the world could know that what I had done was wrong. So I made my way through the doors of the Sherril County Police department, and began to tell them the story of exactly how I became a monster.
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