So far from home I am, alone in California I feel. Yet inside I am so close to that one thing... person that my heart has fallen for. The many years I've waited for her... who has done so little for me yet they have reignited my hopeful dreams. Doing so much-my mind never stops thinking of her-my heart never stops beating for her-my soul never stops longing for her. As if she owns my very being, I hefted my own weight in chains because of the sins the devil has casted upon me. Like a slave he tortures me and tries to manipulate my mind. Grinding away my life from the inside out, trying to take her away from me, thoughts of such blast-for-me is disgusting, yet it poises my mind, the lights I feel around me dim and are overtaken by the black shadows. Surrounded I am by the devil himself-the chains burn my wrists and ankles, nothing is beautiful anymore like it use to be-the world has gone dark and silent.
My eyes masked themselves with tears that evaporate into sizzling steams, gray smoke curles like a coiling snake and dissipates. My wrists and ankles are blackish red with burnt blood slithering around the chains, still burning and boiling under the chains that bind them. I can still walk down the blind road, but I can no longer feel my body, for it has gone numb. For a second the pain seems to have left me, sparing my body of its utter suffering and horror. Until I force myself to walk forward on the sizzling black ashes that smolder my bare feat. I look around as I continue my journey towards her; the one light among all lights that possesses that one love among all forms of love. Gazing upon the new world of Hell, there are buildings and cars, twisting and turning around me, life itself bends like the wind and decays to red flames and rust. Deaths hand has touched this world, killing off everything. I can feel the blistering hot air being suckled into my lungs and puncturing them with pain, I vouch forward and let way a few coughs, as if I am drowning in water I try to breath this toxic air. The temperature of the land rages like a furnace. My skin begins to curl over and roast like barbecued stake, coloring itself with ashy black. My eye pupils burst open and out with blood. My eye color has gone from hazel brown to blood red lit like a torch, shining out my eyes illuminate within this forsaken land, blending in with the rest of the scenery. The only color the devil is renown to bathe in, the color of pain and hate...
The path I walk upon leads me through a destroyed playground park, with its spoiled Elvin wood tarnished by the flames that have engulf them, rusted iron railings and foundations rusted and decayed. Bodies are spread about the park, some lounging over the corroded swings, wood-chip flooring, even some hanging over the railings themselves. All dry looking like bags of sand set carelessly about, each of the positions of the bodies was the same as if they were playing tag or ball tag. Three bodies laid near one another in a line as if they were playing follow the leader for one moment then the next - dead like a canned fish of sardines - side by side. Their lifeless positions seemed detrained of the happiness and joy that had once filled them, seeming so... empty. I only pressed onward taking small glimpses at the playground, finding a red light dawning over everything. I looked up to see a raging ball of red light flashing over everything. Like the underworld, what other color would it be other than red. Taking my eyes from the red sun I stumble upon a dead corpse laying facedown with a small white piece of paper in its hand. A bit burnt on the edges from previous fires that snatched its hairs. I looked for a moment beyond the picture noticing that I was standing on pavement, a deep violet color it was. Odd - I didn't notice the difference between this and the sizzling hot ashes, I couldn't feel anything what so ever, mainly my feat though. I eased the thought into the back of my head as I grit my teeth, feeling the burning sensation of the chains. Trying to forget about the pain I focus in on the small white piece of paper. Kneeling down to reach for it with hesitation, with the fear of the corpse would come back to life, along with the side addition of the burning chains, I successfully was able to fight back both sequential threats that poised my mind. Snatching the small photo with my black fingers, a faint hint of excitement arose in my heart. I twisted, turned, and flipped the photograph of paper seeing nothing but a white black surface. Just a glinting red reflection from the sun within the sky, the lust for excitement drained from my body and I gently began setting the photograph back down. Until a small set of words in black appeared on the flip side of the photo that caught my eyes, I flipped the photographic paper around once more and began to read the words. Reading... 'Walk upon the moonlight of our dream.' My mind began to race then come to a holt, I had come to one conclusion to where the message had come from. So I listened and headed towards the place where the message had foretold.
As I made my way towards the place to which the message and bare upon my mind, something descended from above, fell from the sun into my head, I couldn't see it nor hear it until it was too late. But when it made it into my head, I began to hear something arising in the dark recesses of my mind, something dark and cold. A voice of pain and sadness... a voice of the devil himself, he spoke to me from the inside out. My head began to bolster and twitch, my thoughts were becoming illusive; out of control. Bloody tears cut their way through the sides of my eyes and snaked their way down my face. A loss of control broke in my mind, the devil had begun his prolonged attack on me through myself. Attempting to break me as he tried to pull me to the ground, that's when my head began to hurt and my heart began to race. A crinkled voice burst throughout my mind with a croaking tone that squealed with each word.
"What do you hope to achieve in this life? A friend, a family, or just something to make you forget the pain, a way to live on without suffering?" The sounds of each word echoed like the falling winds calling from the deep south down to the shallow north, howling as they came by and decreasing in sound as they brushed further and further down. My voice came out shriveled as I tried to speak to the thing inside my head, my throat felt as if a firm choke holding grip was locking it in place. Silencing it, speaking was difficult especially with the enraging air burning my lungs with each breath. But I could just barley manage a few words at a time.
"G... get out of... m... my head!" I belched a few more coughs.
"Ah so you do speak words, yet you struggle with them, do you not? I can feel your body dying and weakening, maybe you should rest. Don't you think? Give in, let the pain consume you." My legs became heavy as my arms started to feel like boulders sagging over my waist. Each step I took forward blistered my feat and tore my body to pieces. I wasn't sure how much longer I had until my tendons ripped from their place or even until my skin melted away. So much pain there was all over my body... it just wouldn't stop, kept getting worse. My head fidgeted as I tried to shake away the voice that poised my mind. "GOD has no place for you in this life. No one loves you nor ever will, so selfless you are, maybe you just want to do good all for yourself..."
"I... I won't... let you lie to me... Gah." I pressed my hands into my hair, indenting the brown surfaces as my fingers slipped back towards my spiral balding spot.
"Hate is what drives you isn't it, the hate of the world you call home. GOD gave you nothing but hell itself, even you can see it day by day." The voice deepened . "Nothing you see is beautiful, you just mask it with an illusion to make yourself find something to love... to care for. When you know the truth, now do you see. My home... the fires over the brim horizon, the sky painted with the blood stains of your filth. The same filth I must heave and conger with." My legs began to stumble as I kept creeping forward. The pain just kept growing more and more.
"GOD please just get it out... p... please, help... me make it. To... h... her..."
"So this is why you keep going is it now, for a female." The voice chuckled hysterically. "Love is always what links you mortals isn't it? Nothing but a pathetic excuse for blast-for-me. Just a word that ignites illusions of happiness..." A bitter cold venomous tone stuck through its words as the voice spoke. "Love is nothing but lies, you of all should know that. The real world is of pain and suffering, my world... my world! And your pitiful feelings for one another shall not stand before me in my own dominion. I will break you to the point where you watch your own body parts crumble before you. Then you will watch what love really can do for you, then and only then will you understand what it is! Then I'll enslave your very soul and then..." Taking in a joyful breath the voice continued. "I will make you suffer beyond anything you could ever imagine."
"No! I will.... Not... be broken... nor enslaved..."
"Silence!" As soon as the words slipped out, my knee caps grinded and broke with a scrutinizing sound, erupting from within.
"Ah!" I fell to the ground beneath me and slammed face first. My legs were broken and laying lifeless. I kept pressing onward though towards the place where the note had said. It was so close to me now, a beach... out in the distance. I was coming so close towards it... I was almost to her. I spoke her name in my head as I tried to ignore the voices bitter words. "Lauren is my light... Lauren is my love... Lauren is... my..."
"Oh, so that's what keeps you. This Lauren... love for another human, but one in particular." Looking deep within my mind, into my soul, it had seen where she was and how far away she was from me. All the things me and her had shared, then... and only then did he know what to do. How to break me...
"You... leave her out... out of this."
"So far away she lives from you... Oh, what a pity it is to have to see you so sad. But why keep fighting..." The thing inside my head looked deeper. "You think she will wait for you. She won't, she will leave you to burn and die."
"She... she won't leave me, never." I clamped my hand onto the dry dirt in front of me, pulling myself closer towards the beach, still having the belief that I could make it.
"You really think she would wait for someone like you? You really think that all she ever says about how she loves you is true? Life isn't a fairy tale, dreams never come true, and so therefore you only imagine things that are but of your own design. She's gone now, and will never come back for you."
"You lie."
"Really, is that what you think? Why keep fighting for someone you've never met before, never even seen in person. Its all just an illusion, she doesn't exist."
"She does to me..." I reached out again hefting myself forward, coming within twenty-five feet of the beach line.
"Why just, why keep going?"
"Because... I love her... and always... will."
"You love her because you are afraid to lose her. You love her because she gives you hope huh? She will leave you and find someone else, nothing you do can stop that. You are nothing but a fool to believe in such fantasies. Just roll over and die! Because she will walk away from you when you come, and you will only find her with someone else, you will weep over her. Because you have failed..." I came within five feet of the beach lining and then I stopped. The better side of me began to believe in what was being said. "GOD has no plan for you, she has no plan for you, you fit no where in her life. The perfect girl you could only dream about right? Well its gone... and now you have nothing left to live for."
"I... but that can't be..."
" There's nothing left! But your pathetic imagination for something better in life, always the optimist right? Well forget it, time catches up to everyone and it looks like its finally caught up to you."
"No... it just..."
"Look up and towards the beach. Tell me where you fit in, with her. Here in California... where do you see yourself being involved in her life?" The voice seeped back into the dark corners of my mind as the beach before me changed. The wasteland like graveyard of cars, bodies, and bits of scrap faded into clear sands with cleansed waters. As my eyes veered from the gloomy land of Death Valley towards the full Luna moon that shined bright within the midnight sky along with the many stars, that glared down upon the beach where the meek waves toppled the cool crystal sand. With the dusk palm trees flapping their leaves like flamingos, the northern winds curled under their coursed vines. That gave off a sweet aroma that soared with the soft and calm wind. I looked to my left as my neck bone creaked to the made adjustment. I came to see two figures, at first just two silver specks glinting under the moonlight. That had came down the shoreline at the brim edges of the sand where the water lapped the dry surfaces. They had come to a holt; now looking like people out in the distance. Settling themselves over the cool sand they sat and looked outward towards the horizon, as a small gust of wind winded up their cloths, the females hair was ruffled in the process. She had gently brushed it back past her ear lobes as her eyes came to cross with the mans eyes. There they sat next to one another, noticing the distance between them. They motioned to come closer together, slowly and hesitantly. To the point where their eyes had closed and their lips had touched, everything around them had turned into a blur except for each other. As they shared this moment, amercing themselves in one another's love. The man backed away gently and took her hand as he stood to his feat. She excepted his hand with joy as he felt her soft and warming hand press into his palm, he lead her from the beach towards the dunes where there was a bungalow. There they came into one room where their eyes met once more and came into a locking position. He slid his hands around her waist and gently pulled her against his chest, biting down on his lip. She noticed what he wanted to do and what he had in mind, so she wrapped her hands around his neck and fiddled with his wavy locks. As they came closer more confidently this time, they fell into each others love. Closing the night where they would sleep together in the bungalow under the blue Luna moon.
My mouth was left shut as my mind was left blank. There was nothing in my mind that made me want to fight for her anymore, nothing that would drive me to doing greatness. My hopes had been sucked from me... as the voice came back into my head I just laid on the ground and listened. Being just a few feet away from the beach line, and there was nothing motivating me to go forward. I was held at a dead stop about to give in, to all the suffering.
"You see... there's nothing left for you anymore. She is happy with another man that she can trust. Just stop fighting and give in, there's no shame in allowing yourself to let go of something you've been fighting for, for so long. All that pain... just let me ease it for you." I turn my head towards the sand and exhale, the sand rolled over itself as I breathed. I found my thoughts against me, as this might just might have been my final time. The last time of all the others, that I might just have to let go of everything and give up. So it seems to be as such, until I look up for an instant and seen the blue Luna moon, just before it whisks away into the sand as did the fresh nightly illusion. That one glimpse of the moon reminded me of something... I thought harder and harder about what it was. What the moon had meant. It was something she had told me long ago. 'The blue moon is what we both would always see at night, as long as it was there, we can always be together. No matter how far apart we were from one another.
"That's it... the moon... she... she's still there..."
"What did you say!?!?" The voice gasped in shock. "How can you still be willing to fight for her, she's gone now!"
"No... She hasn't left me yet." I saw the barren wasteland again, the Death Valley. So boiling hot, I could see the invisible wavy lines slanting over the sand. I looked beyond the beach to the vaporized ocean. Where nothing but sand had remained, and there... there was a light. Teal blue in color illuminating over the once profound ocean, hovering a few inches off the ground just standing. Shining like the sun in my eyes, I felt the revival of my hope and courage that lifted within my body. I reached out and pulled my body over towards the beach line.
"No! You cannot leave my domain!" The sand beneath me melted away into murky brown water that engulfed my body in flames that arose over the surface. My body fell through but my hands managed to cross the beach line. Digging into the sand I tried to grasp a firm hold on something to levy my way out but there was nothing. I was beginning to drown under the fiery of the murky water until a hand punched through the thick liquid. It pulled me out of the water and thrusting me over the beach line onto the sand. I was able to excrete the water and begin to breath. The brown murky water spewed out of my mouth onto the sand where it dissolved into steams. I touched my face with my right hand and felt the chains crumble to the sand. Along with my ankles as I moved my legs, it took me a few moments to realize what had happened. Until I discovered that my body had been fully revived, my eyes, my skin, my broken legs, the pain was gone. Even the air was cooler now and more breathable. All things that had made me feel stronger, until I looked back towards the beach line where Satin had stood with his black mist. His red eyes blared out over me as they stared through mine. "You will not leave here, no one ever has and no one ever will. She won't ever except you into her life. Its too late, she'll never wait..."
"Well wait my a..., I'm coming to her." I lifted myself to my feat. " I'm not having her wait on me." Satin looked behind him as he called upon his dogs.
"Consume him, with the shadows." I looked at his sides as two dog like figures came to his side, with golden eye sockets shining. They barked viciously as I backed away. I turned towards the teal blue light and began sprinting towards it. Coming across sand, creatures tried to suck me under, and dead corpses that were coming to life, everything that was dead arose to try and stop me from escaping. I stumbled left and right as I came closer towards the light, I looked behind me seeing the black misty dogs caring the shadows behind them. Everything was being consumed within a matter of seconds. I looked away as I came over to the teal light, kicking off the sand reaching out for it as the black mist caught up to me. Taking me by the legs, just when everything had come to a closing point everything went black.
I stumbled, as I stood in the California airport, making a simple gesture that made me look as if I was a drunken sailor. Stumbling even when standing still, I looked around me, checking my surrounds feeling a tad bit confused. I looked upward seeing the blue sky through the glass dome, along with the beaming golden sun. My mind was trying to understand what had just happened. Then I remembered, it was the devil inside my mind like every other day. Except... this time was his last for now, he still laid dormant. Yet this was his final attempt of trying to break me, but my love for Lauren was to strong for even him to break it. I have won the battle but not the war against him. Thinking to myself, I felt the weight of luggage dangling from both my arms. Like the weight... that had kept my arms down during the... I wiped away the thought. But there was another thought that had swam throughout my mind. "He knows what I'm fighting for now... he will still try and break me but..." I had began to wonder for a second what that light was that I had seen for a moment. "Nah, it couldn't be. She..." So I thought to myself. A female voice came from my left.
"Well hello stranger!" I turned to face her and my jaw dropped open and tears began to weld up in my eyes. I dropped my luggage and ran towards her.
"Lauren! GOD... your safe...I missed you so much!" I held her in my arms and kissed her on the forehead. I felt her smooth brown hair against my face as her warm body pressed against mine. She blushed a bit.
"Well for our first time meeting, don't you think that's a little bit too fast? I mean..." I interrupted trying not to be misleading.
"No, no, I know. Its just... well I couldn't wait to see you. It was like a dream that I could only imagine and now... here we are." I eased off and let her slide back to the extent of my arms. I gazed into her lavishing brown eyes and noticed her beautiful complexion. Looking beyond her outer parts deeper into who she was on the inside. I smiled at her. "Well lets take this relationship one step at a time. As would say the Black Man haha." She chuckled.
"You still remember that from Aliens vs. Predator?" I puckered my lips and looked her in the face and grinned.
"You think I'd forget that." We looked at one another for a while longer till she felt it a little disturbing.
"What is it? Why are you looking at me for so long?"
"Its just, you look so much more beautiful than what you do over the phone. Also I've been meaning to tell you that I love you. I know I say it all the time but now I can say it to you in person."
She blushed and replied. "Well I love you too and... thank you."
"Anytime, now look my lovely gal I have only a week visit here. And I'd love it if we could make it the most fanominal week of our lives! A Badazling time as a matter of fact." She eyed me as she slipped her hand into mine.
"Well I have an idea for what we can do first. You up for a challenge?"
"O I love challenges, especially from you."
"Well lets get a move on."
"Then lead the way. O I can't wait to meet your family and stuff. Its going to be awesome." We headed for the exiting door of the airport, hand in hand. Smiling as we approached the door together and then I got this sudden feeling. I come to a holt for but a moment and I turn my head to look back towards the luggage I had left behind. Searching through the crowd not knowing what I was looking for, until... I saw a man in black with red illuminating eyes blaring out. He's nodding his head at me as if I had done something wrong. For a second he stood there until a random person interrupted our line of sight and before I know it he was gone like a ghost. Lauren pulled at my hand, coming to my side. Looking at me then at the crowd, wondering what I was looking at.
"So what you looking at?" I turn to face her, and I then just kiss her on the lips this time. She blushed and looked at me with her rosy red cheeks flaring.
"It was nothing Lauren, now lets get going before traffic gets nasty." We smiled at one another, she winked at me and a small Teal blue light sprang out. I came to a sudden suprise, remembering that I had seen that same light in the...
"Well lets get going slow poke. We don't have all day."
"Alrighty then, sorry. Lets get going.