They looked dead, but I don’t move a muscle just in case. “Hand me my gun,” I say through gritted teeth as my face is inches from the cement. I don’t dare to roll over from my stomach, my arms shaking with strain as they are the only thing holding me up. “Here,” my partner in crime, well, should I say my partner in defending crime, Lewis half-whispered, voice raspy from heavily breathing in the cold air as we chased these men, now lying on the ground probably dead. He slid my gun across the floor, not daring to move his feet from his current location in that rancid sewer. Why were we in a sewer again? For some reason I can’t seem to remember. I just know that we chased these fools until they were cornered and somehow it doesn’t bother me to see the 4 of them lying there dead. Dead. They were dead. Why doesn’t that bother me?

We didn’t move for another hour, or at least thats what it seemed like. In reality it was probably only 2 minutes tops. I still held my gun in one hand, trigger locked, but I had it ready. We looked, gave each other a look and nod of “okay, lets go,” and I got up slowly. We walked over to the rusty ladder, ready to get out of that sewer. I push the “talk” button on my walkie-talkie and lean my head to my left shoulder where it is velcroed to my uniform which I now noticed, is ripped and has splatters of blood on it.“This is dispatch 209 we have a 419 in the,” I look around, where am I? “Hold that thought central,” I say as i carefully climb the ladder leading into the outside world and push open the heavy lid at the top. I squint, the sun is too much for my eyes as we’ve been in that dark sewer for god knows how long. My eyes adjust as I look around and realize I’m in Central Park. I am so confused. “Central this is dispatch 209 again,” Lewis states into the walkie talkie oh his shoulder meanwhile giving me a look of either confusion or concern, I’m not sure which. Either way its insulting and worries me. “My partner here is a little out of it. Might be trauma. Not sure. But to conclude that report, it is a 419, 5 of them, in the sewer on the north side of Central Park.” I walk over to a nearby bench and sit down. How did this happen? What happened? Everything up to me on my stomach facing four dead men was a blur. I think I killed them. Why doesn’t that bother me? Then I am snapped back in to it when i see 2 police cars pull up in front of me on the curb.
“Where is our squad car? Why are they here?” I ask Lewis, referencing to the two cars waiting for us.
“I’m going back to the station to talk to Boss-Man, you’re...you’re not. Just get in the other car partner. It’ll be okay. I promise.”
“What? What do you mean ’It’ll be okay?’ Tell me where I’m going!” Oh no. It hits me. They think I’m insane. They think I’m losing it. I’ve heard of cops getting Post Traumatic Shock but not me. I’ve been in hundreds of aggressive chases before. This doesn’t just happen to me. I’m Avalanna Chantel. The top cop of Brooklyn. Then it hits me, no this time it really does hit me, like a brick. The worst headache I’ve ever had begins. When did I get in the car? Where am I going? I start to panic and then everything just goes blank. And then, there was nothing.
Beep. Beep. Beep. My eyes are closed. I think I’m lying down, probably in a bed or couch somewhere. Why? I have no idea? Where? No clue. I try to open my eyes and wake up from this weird half-asleep, half-not state I’m in. Beeeeeep. Beeeeeep. BEEEEEEEP! Beep Beep beep! What is going on? It feels like someone is holding me down into unconsciousness and won’t let me float back to the real world. I hear a sudden rush of people coming into my room and I use all my strength to open my eyes which is incredibly hard, my eyelids feel like a thousand pounds. I get them open a crack and attempt to look around. Beep. Beeeep. Beeep beep beep. People in white coats, stethoscopes, I look to my hands and see a heart monitor on my left thumb and an IV in my right arm. I’m in the hospital? What? When did this happen? That’s what that beeping sound was, it’s a heart monitor. My eyes fall closed again.I must have passed out. I try to remember but I’ve hit a wall. I can’t seem to remember anything. I boggle my mind trying to figure out how I ended up in this hospital bed but I got nothing. Nothing before sitting on a park bench in Times Square, no, Central Park. Then there were the 2 separate squad cars. Then nothing again.
“Ava,” one of the 3 nurses in my room says. “Avalanna, can you hear me? Wiggle your fingers or give me a thumbs up if you can,”
“Mmmm” I murmur in response, “Weremaye?”
“She’s waking up!” and “She’s awake!” The two other nurses standing near the doorway whisper.
I try to clear my throat a little and respond, “Where am I? What happened?” I open my eyes a little more than last time and see one of the nurses beckoning someone into the room, and then in walks Lewis. He walks quickly over to my bed and I can see tears in his eyes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry. He grabs my hand and holds it, stroking it with one thumb. This gives me some kind of new energy, like sparks flying through my body.
“Oh thank god Ava, I thought I lost you! I don’t know what happened! Don’t ever scare me like that again!” he says now hugging me, I don’t think we’ve ever hugged..
“Lewis! What are you doing? What happened? Why am I in the hospital? Why can’t I remember anything? Oh god, someone please tell me whats going on.”
“Ava, how much do you remember?”
“Just up to sitting on the bench in central park….NO WAIT,” I suddenly had a breakthrough, “I remember the 4 dead guys and I was on my stomach…” I trail off.
“Ava,” Lewis starts, “We were in a chase yesterday. Four members of New York’s most dangerous gang were spotted near 4th street downtown. We were driving by and recognized them, so we pulled over across the street to watch them. They began passing drugs amongst one another and thats when we opened the doors and got out of our car. They saw us and then they ran. We chased them until they were cornered in an alley. That ally just happened to have a sewer opening in it so one guy opened the lid and jumped down. We didn’t want them to get away so I motioned us to go in after them. I jumped down first then you followed. We chased them through the sewer until they were cornered again. This time there was no way out. You yelled at them the usual ‘don’t move put your hands in the air’ and thats when one of the gang members pulled out his gun and attempted to shoot you. Thankfully he missed and when he tried to shoot you, you shot him in the chest. The other guys charged at you taking you by surprise I guess and these men were huge by the way. You got scared and threw your gun in the air and they tackled you to the ground. That’s when I stepped in, pulled them off of you, and shot them, all 3 of them. When they tackled you one of them gave you a shot of something the labs are still being done, but we believe that what knocked you out of it. Whatever they gave you must have caused memory loss, and your fainting. The syringe was lying under you when you got up and thats when I put two and two together. I’m sorry I let this happen to you Ava.” He looked down, disappointed in himself I assumed.
I lie there and let that all sink in. I shot someone. Some fool tried to shoot me! I was drugged by druggies?! My head is spinning. Why don’t I remember any of this?
“Wow,” I utter in sheer disbelief. “Well, its not your fault Lew, and you did save my life. Those guys could’ve killed me!”
“Yeah I guess I did. Well what is a partner for?” He says and then does his cute little chuckle that I love. I smile back at him and remind him that I need sleep. He agrees and reluctantly walks out of the room, but not before hugging me and telling me he’s glad I’m okay. After he leaves I close my eyes and drift back into a deep sleep.
When i wake the next morning, having slept that entire day, I feel a lot better. I try to remember what happened yesterday but still nothing. I look around and see “Get well soon” balloons and flowers on my bedside table. I grab the card in the flowers and read it. It says:
Dear Ava,


I hope you’re feeling better this morning.
I can’t wait to see your beautiful face back
at work with me again. I’m sorry again,
about everything.
The best partner ever ;P
Lewis
I can’t help but smile. Who knew Lewis cared so much about me? All these years of just
being partners at work...could there be something more? I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. I read the card about ten more times before finally putting it back with the flowers and smelling them. They were the most beautiful roses I had ever smelled. I sigh and smile, could I be falling for Lewis? No. I couldn’t be. I don’t even wanna think about it, but deep down...I think I am. I reach over and grab my phone still smiling and thinking about Lewis’s sweet little card he wrote, and that beautiful bouquet of roses, and the goofy balloons. I unlock my iPhone and see that it’s February 9, today is the day Boss-Man was going to give one of us a promotion, the head homicide detective had just retired. Of course, I can remember that but not this horribly horrific scene I was a part of just yesterday. Way to go Ava. I go to my contacts and type in Lewis’s name. I feel the butterflies in my stomach again as I push call and hear it start to ring.

“Hey Ava!” He answers.

“Hey you! I got your flowers and your card, who knew you were so sweet?” I say and then laugh a little at how stupid that sounded. God, what is he doing to me, I’m usually so good with my words.

“Yeah, I guess I got a few tricks up my sleeve!” He jokes, following that with his cute chuckle I adore.

“So did Boss-Man announce who’s getting the promotion yet?”
The line is silent.

“Hello? Lew?”
He sighs and sarcastically says, “Who do you think won Ava?”

“Um, I don’t know or I wouldn’t be asking..” I respond, annoyed, even though personally I think I had it in the bag.

“Damn it Ava you always get everything you want of course it was you! Congratulations! Woop-De-Doo! Avalanna is on top again! I can see it on headlines now; ‘Top Cop of Brooklyn reaches new heights in her career’ You happy?!”
Where is this coming from?! I thought he was falling for me too! He was being so sweet, what in the world is making him act like this?

“Excuse me?! Where is this coming from? Lewis what the heck! Why would you say that? After all the sweet things you just did for me, where is this coming from?” I angrily spit back at him trying not to raise my voice too loud. I’m still in the hospital and the last thing I want is to call more attention to myself.
“I knew you would get the promotion Ava! Everyone knew. You’re ‘Avalanna Chantel: Top Cop of Brooklyn’! You’re everyones competition but no one is competition for you! You’re the most loved but also most hated cop. All the people that read stories about all the wonderful work you do and all the cases you solve well they love you but guess what? All your co-workers who work so hard to be in the same light as you can’t stand you and how perfect everyone thinks you are! You’re so selfish sometimes damn it! Did you ever realize how I’m always with you in those cases we work so hard to solve but you’re the one in the spotlight on the news, in the paper, its all about Ava! Ava, Ava, Ava, all the damn time! Well you know what? I got sick of being in the background. I got sick of doing all this hard work for nothing. I got sick of being a no one. I got sick of it all! So you know what I-I…”
“You what?!”
“If you weren’t here it could’ve been me. No, in fact I knew it would be me. Sometimes...I just wish you weren’t here. I wish you were never a cop. Because only then, would I be the best. I would get the promotion.”
“Wow. Real smooth partner. Real smooth. You wish I was never a cop? I can make you look so bad for this Lewis. So. Freaking. Bad.”
“Oh really? Can you? You don’t even know the half of it.”
My heart skips a beat. “What else is there?”
And the line goes dead. I angrily chuck my phone to the end of the bed where it bounces and lands on the floor. He had the nerve! And I thought i was falling for him! I don’t think I’ve ever been more angry in my life and the fact that tears are rolling down my cheeks doesn’t make it any better. I hate that I cry when I’m angry. I hate crying so it makes me even more mad. I wipe them off my face and grab the remote and turn on the tv attempting to get my mind off things. It’s on the news when it clicks on. I’m about to change the channel when i hear “Avalanna Chantel’s partner Lewis Foxley under arrest for attempted murder. He voluntarily turned himself in this morning. No details on the story yet, but we’ll let you know as soon as we find out anything else” I stop crying and my mouth falls open. What did I just hear?

I lay there with my eyes wide open staring at the ceiling for hours. Not daring to move a muscle. “Attempted murder. Attempted murder. Attempted murder.” Hailey, the newscaster’s voice resonates in my head, repeating itself over and over and over. I just talked to man on the phone who attempted to murder someone? How? I lay there for hours trying to figure out when and how this could’ve happened. He was with me all yesterday on that chase I don’t remember...Then it hits me.

He’s the reason I’m here right now. That stupid chase never happened, that’s why I don’t remember it. It was him. He drugged me trying to kill me, just to get that stupid promotion! It was him. It was him.