A Day in the Mountains | Teen Ink

A Day in the Mountains

January 26, 2014
By PaullyCar BRONZE, Whittier, California
PaullyCar BRONZE, Whittier, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

It was a luminescent, sunny day in southern California. Four venturesome friends decided to go on a hike, Annabelle, Jake, Thomas and Charisma. They had all loaded everything on to their car. The long drive was filled of joy and laughter. Once there, Thomas had a distressful look about his face upon the gaze of the peculiar hiking trail. He shared with Annabelle that he had had a nightmare the night before and the hiking trail seemed similar to the one in his dream. He warned the others, but despite it all, they proceeded.
Annabelle: Hey dude, it’s okay, it will be fun! C’mon!
Thomas: Uh yeah, I guess.
Charisma bumped shoulders with Thomas and gave him a warm loving smile. Annabelle ran along the long, wide path with her long, light hair flowing graciously with the wind. Jake chased after her shouting, “Anna banana, wait up!” Thomas and Charisma slowly and silently followed behind. They walked along the peaceful, calming trail for about a mile before they noticed another unusually small path leading a different direction. Jake willingly pushed himself forward to the front of group and led them down the path. Then, Annabelle, Charisma and Thomas exchanged worried looks. As they walked, they noticed what appeared to be human bones on the ground; up ahead they found another decaying body. Before they knew it, they were at the foot of a ponderous, dark cave. Jake looks at Thomas with his dim blue eyes, punches him I the shoulder and says, “Dude check out this cave.” “Yeah,” Thomas says with an effortful smile. While Jake and Anna continue to wonder deep into the cave, Charisma’s light colored eyes look into Thomas’s dark, concerned eyes and she continues to tell him everything will be okay. Charisma then gives him a tight, warm hug and they follow behind their two other friends. The boys search for wood as it is almost night time and it’s dark out. Once they return, they lay the wood on the ground and light it with Jake’s lighter. The girls come back laughing and giggling after they have had a chat. They all gather around the fire pit and exchange horror stories with each other. Suddenly, Charisma spills the water in her bottle all over the fire place, accidentally and it goes terrifyingly dark. 1...2…3…4… The sounds of frightful, painful screams are heard. Jake, terrified, reaches for his lighter, pulls it out and lights it. All of them filled with fear and bewilderment. Anna, Charisma and Jake stare at each other intently wondering who the culprit could be with the adrenaline running intensely through their hearts. Before they get a chance to accuse one other, Jake’s lighter runs out and it goes pitch black once again Screams of agonizing pain are heard... As they ran towards the entrance of the cave, only Annabelle and Jake are left, Annabelle begins to cry and questions why Jake would do such a thing.
Jake: I love you. You have to believe I’m not capable of doing this.
Annabelle angrily shouts, “LIAR!” And Jake’s body is split in half right before her eyes. Seconds later, Annabelle is strangled with climbing rope and Thomas laughs hysterically. He runs out of the cave and takes the limbs of his three friends as rewards. In the end, it was simply a true psychopath’s work.


The author's comments:
I really love thriller/mystery books. Agatha Christie is my inspiration. I'm not very good at it, but hopefully I will get better.

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