The morning began with everyone in a panic-- they were hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. My name is Ryan Stewart. People think they know me: dark hair, deep eyes, a fair build, and seemingly normal teenage personality. But people think a lot of things, and a lot of the time people are wrong. I live in a very small close knit town, where news and gossip travel fast. The whole town knew every detail about our trip before I even returned, or at least thought they did. My friends and I received a call from the county police station that morning asking us to come in and identify our friend. The thought that haunted all of our minds was that she was dead. That's it. No one would ever see Belle again. It seemed impossible that she would be there alive, she had been gone for a couple of days. I was the only one that made it out that night, but not the way everyone thinks. If you're reading this, I am no longer here to explain the true occurrences of that dreaded trip. Don't worry though, in these few short pages the truth about what really happened to Belle Adams on that dark winter camping trip will be unveiled.

~

A cold winter's day my friends and I sat engulfed in boredom, planning what we would do with our week off from school. We were seniors in high school and wanted to make every moment we had left together count.

"Why don't we go on a skiing trip?" Rachel suggested.
"Not all of us have parents handing us money," Hunter said under his breath. He resented having to spend his own money on trips.
We all sat there for a while thinking of ideas that weren't expensive and sounded adventurous.
"Why don't we go camping?!" Belle screeched enthusiastically.

All ten of us screamed "YES!" at once.
All of our friends got along well with the exception of a few people. I did not like being around Belle. Do not get me wrong, many considered Belle very pretty-- as did I. She had tight uncontrollable curls and fair skin. Her doe eyes and pouting lips caught the sympathy and attention of most. Not me. Since our ninth grade year Belle obsessed over a weird and uncomfortable crush on me. I personally thought it seemed creepy, but everyone else said it was "cute". Belle claimed to have gotten over it, but I was still convinced that she stalked- or as the others called it- admired me. All that aside the idea of camping was perfect, even if Belle suggested it.

That evening we all went home to pack and get a good nights sleep, knowing that we had to meet early in the morning. At sunrise we all arrived on time with the exception of one person.

Belle of course was running behind, as if she didn't already bother me. She seemed to always be doing annoying things that continuously reminded me of my dislike for her.

She finally arrived in time for us all to cram into one car with our bags and tents. I felt as though I was suffocated with the absolute zero space in the car. I began to hope that the trip would get off to a better start. We finally reached the spot where we would leave the car and began our walk to the camp site. It was cold and gloomy, but with the joyful company of our friends, the dark atmosphere went unnoticed.

As we tread through the snow my friend Cole and I thought it would be funny to scare his girlfriend, Sarah, and another friend Claire. As they walked ahead we slowly crept away with our things.

"Cole? Cole where are you!" Sarah yelled back at us towards the empty forest.

Claire heard Sarah and stopped walking, "I will wait with you if you want Sarah, they

are probably stopping for a break."

We let them sit there long enough for the group to have marched off into far sight. Right when they got comfortable we jumped out and scared them. I continued pranking people the entire way there, an innocent and childish behavior. Everyone was getting a good laugh out of it; unless, of course, he or she was the one being scared half to death.

After one hour of walking we finally made it to the perfect camp site. There was a nice field with a frozen lake and the thick mysterious forest at our side. We set up our things, made a nice fire to snuggle up to, and told scary stories until we all fell asleep. We woke up to the sun rising peacefully above us and eagerly began our first day.

"Who left the fire going last night?" Cole asked accusingly.

Sarah quickly responded saying " Belle or Ryan was supposed to put it out."

"No one told me that."

"It's ok Ryan we can just go get more wood," Belle offered, trying to make up for her mistake.

Of course she wanted me to go in the forest to get more wood with her. I couldn't look like a jerk by saying no, so making my annoyance with the situation clear- I agreed.
"Alright, let's go."

And so we began our trek into the woods searching for something to make a fire with. Just me, and Belle. All I could think of is how fast I wanted to get the journey over with, in fact, I wasn't even paying attention to where we were going. She kept trying to talk to me but I wasn't really listening. I could tell that it bothered her, and so naturally I continued. She started to slow down until she completely stopped, and I awaited the dreaded crying (or whatever it is that girls do).


"Um Ryan?" she asked, her voice shaky.

What did she want to know now, "What Belle?"

"Have you been paying attention to where we are going?" a blatant and genuine concern stretched across her face.

As much as I hated Belle, I realized in that moment that she was right to be scared.

"Well, yeah. We came from, umm, that way right?" I managed to spit out.

"Are you sure?"

This was the first time she questioned me, and I began to doubt my sense of direction as well as become more irritated with Belle.
"No I'm not, but it shouldn't be hard to figure out let's head back you'll see we will get back in no time."

I desperately tried to convince myself of this statement more than Belle.

Time kept passing and we still had no idea where to go. It was getting darker and colder, and I began to wonder if our friends were worried. A thought crossed my mind, what if something happened to her? Would it be wrong to use her jacket for warmth? I caught myself engulfed in my own mind as I sometimes do, and immediately forced the dark thoughts away. What was I thinking? I felt cruel and disgusting, but most of all frightened of the casual manner the eerie thought arose. Even though Belle was unbearably annoying she was still my friend. We found a place to stop and sleep, and decided to continue our journey the next day in the sunlight.

We woke up to a new day with hopeful expectations. However, slowly but surely, we again became discouraged as yet another day ended.
"I'm hungry" Belle whined

I had been so worried I hadn't even thought about food. My stomach had however been yelling at me all day.

"It's ok, we will be back in no time."

"No we won't!" she snapped at me, " we are going to die out here!"

"Don't be stupid!" I yelled back

Everything went silent and we settled down to sleep again.

This time we woke up both feeling hopeless. I was beginning to feel delusional. The feeling felt familiar, and I wished it would vanish. Right before I gave into my dark feelings of anger and hopelessness, there shined a glimmer of hope.

"Belle, look, do you see that!" I exclaimed.
"See what?" she mumbled, irritated.

"The cabin"

"Oh, yes! Yes! Maybe we can find help!" She said with an immediate change in the tone of her voice as she ran to the cabin.
I was not long behind her when she reached the cabin door and stopped.

"Ryan, I don't think anyone lives here. This place is scary."

"Well let's go in. Or would you rather die?" I said intending to scare her further.

I for one finally felt hopeful again, and with that returned my worsening anger towards Belle.

I tore off the wood keeping the cabin door closed, while Belle was "too cold" and "scared" to help. Why couldn't I be stuck with someone else? We walked slowly into the cabin and noticed it looked lived in, but there was no one in sight.

"Someone probably lives here, we shouldn't stay." Belle said quietly

"Why would someone block their front door off? No one lives here." I snapped back.
We searched for food but found none. I was in fact starting to hear things, and startled, thought maybe someone did actually live in the cabin.

"Do you hear that?" I asked Belle.

"No, what are you talking about?"

"Nevermind." I queasily answered as I ignored the sounds jumping out at me from every corner.

I began to feel worse, feeling jumpy and starting to see things. I kept reminding myself that it came from my head and was not real, although that idea frightened me even more. I had a past with hallucinations that no one else knew of. Being without our things for three days, I hadn't been able to take my medicine.

We went to sleep for the third night telling ourselves that this was the last. There had to be a path to and from the cabin. I woke up in the middle of the night to a noise. I thought someone walked in the door. What if it was someone that lived here? I walked over to where Belle slept and felt a cold shiver trickle down my spine as I stopped numb in my tracks. A man stood over Belle, fair build with dark hair, watching- waiting. I tried to stop him- all I wanted in the world was for the terrifying moment to stop. I watched as he lifted his arm, and with one emotionless drop, stabbed her deep in the chest. Belled screamed with terror and confusion, and held the gaping wound on her chest. And just like that I was above her, putting pressure on the wound to try and stop the bleeding.

I found a towel to press on the wound and she whimpered, "Why Ryan, why?". I wasn't sure exactly what she meant, and with my adrenaline pumping at full speed I ignored it.

"Belle, stay with me, where did the man go?"

"Whaaaat" she said, her voice slowly fading away. I could tell she wasn't going to last much longer.

"Belle!!! Where is the man?? Where is the man Belle?" I needed to know. I needed to find the man.

"What man, Ryan? There is no man."

I froze as body filled with terror and confusion. I released some of the pressure from her wound, looked around, and saw no one. What had I done. I should have stayed away I should have seen this coming. Belles chest stopped moving as she feel into a deep sleep, I knew she wouldn't be returning from. I looked hard at her for the last time, her warm eyes now cold and still. With a lack of strength to comprehend what had just unfolded, I took the necklace from around Belle's neck and put it in my pocket. I ran out the cabin, and just kept running. I couldn't let anyone know what happened. I couldn't go back to that place again. Not ever.

I don't remember much about the run, but I somehow managed to make it back to where we set up our camp. If only Belle and I could have made it back sooner. All of the camping tents were gone and our belongings scattered. All that remained were our friends, distraught and dirty, and the police comforting them. They asked me plenty of questions at once, but I could only see the image of dead Belle in my mind, and feel the wetness of the red blood on my shirt.

"Where's Belle?!" Sarah cried.

I told the whole story, so the questions would end. I began with how we got terribly lost, and with what we thought was luck found a cabin. I ended with the cold fuzzy remembrance of a man killing Belle. A man of whom I knew and now fully understood in my mind, was me.

~

This, secret I would have been stuck with forever.

Are you wondering why I wrote this? My answer is simple. In the event that my deepest secret does get revealed, I didn't want any confusion about what happened that night. Essentially because- I won't be here to tell the tale myself.

About a year had passed and things were finally starting to feel almost the same again. My friends and I decided to go to a party together, and in that moment our lives seemed to be looking up. It was a chilly night, much like the one I had tried so terribly to forget. I could still feel the crisp wind and sharp branches whipping my skin as I ran seeking safety-- safety perhaps from myself. When we arrived at the party Claire informed me that she had forgotten her jacket. I offered her mine, and she took it gratefully. I watched as she put it on and slid her hands into the pockets.

Amsecond that seemed like an eternity, Claire turned to me and said, "you left something in your pocket."

She pulled out Belle's necklace and choked slightly. Her face twisted from a look of pure confusion to one of terror, fear, and disgust. It was then that I knew, she knew.

After the party came to an end, I slowly made my way home. With a limp hand and a numb being, I completed writing the story you read today. Hence, the truth about the death of Belle Adams will forever remain on this paper, lying under my favorite tree in the cold white snow.

As I slip into the noose, and begin to feel the schizophrenia fade away, I Ryan Stewart, will have left at least one secret behind.