The Diary of a Madman | Teen Ink

The Diary of a Madman

May 16, 2014
By Akash Kurupassery BRONZE, Franklin, Tennessee
Akash Kurupassery BRONZE, Franklin, Tennessee
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The silence and bliss of the dark night sky awed the 108 passengers aboard the Forte Cruiseliner. Staring at the spectacle of stars above them it seemed like a dream. There was no fog on the ocean, and one could look in any direction and see the water which surrounded them on every side. Just as the silence seemed too good to be true, my phone went off. “You got a call! You got a call! You got a call!”. I had suddenly become the center of attention, everyone giving me annoyed and strange looks. As I quickly ended the call and muted my phone, a hushed murmur went around. Nobody could attain the peaceful silence again, and they all seemed reluctant to let it go. I went back inside to my spacious cabin. I had ordered first class to enjoy myself and take a break from everything my job entitled. The cabin contained a huge king-sized bed adjacent to a flat screen television. Next to the bed was my desk which contained most of my belongings which were keys, passports, my phone, an alarm clock, and an envelope which contained $100,000 for the job I had recently completed. Opposite from the desk was my bathroom and closet. My closet was filled with different clothes and disguises which I used to stay hidden. I walked into the bathroom to wash my face and looked into the mirror. I saw myself. The face of a man who let his family be taken away from him for money and who had the consciousness of hundreds of lives on his hands. I was a hitman. I walked over to my bed and fell asleep. I woke up to see light streaming into the room. I heard a noise blaring around the room. “Initiating phase shift in 5….4….3….”. I quickly got everything that was important to me, my money and went into my closet and took some clothes. “2...1..” I dashed out the door just in time to see a blast coming from inside the room. As I opened the door, I was met with the sight of a planked wall. At just that time a few people came rushing down and asked me what happened. I told them about the voice and the countdown, and I then proceeded to open the door to show the wall. My room was back to where it was supposed to be. The people laughed and complimented me on the joke and walked back upstairs. I just couldn’t put my finger on it, but I seemed to know those people somehow. The answer was on the tip of my tongue when I heard a crash which sounded like a heavy weight hitting the deck.. I quickly went upstairs to see what happened, assuming that I had imagined the voice and the countdown. I looked around and I saw someone had lowered a cannon onto the deck. As I approached them, everyone stared at me. It was like I was an alien in the midst of an army. I remember being approached by one of the people and being punched in the face over and over again. I collapsed to the ground while the rest of them continued to kick me. Blood poured from my mouth, and I, strangely, started to laugh. I realized why I recognized these people. These were the people I had killed. At that thought, I blacked out. Next thing I know I wake up in a blank room feeling sore all over my body. I saw blood dripping on the pure white floor and leaving a trail when I walked. I wasn’t a religious man, but after what I had seen, now seemed like a good time to pray. “Oh God, I’m sorry for what I have done. Please forgive my sins.”. I collapsed on the ground, and I started to use my hands to crawl around this seemingly endless room feeling a bit foolish for that outburst of prayer. After a while, I hit a wall. The surreal nature of this situation seems to have taken its toll on me and I started to sob. I cried and cried and cried. Thinking of everything I had done, all the people I had killed just for money. Then I realized, I wasn’t crying for the people, I was crying for myself. I still thought about the 1 million dollars I had in the bank which I hadn’t got time to use, the house I would live in, the new family I could make. With this new determination I knew I had to escape this place. I stopped crying and the sadness turned to rage. “Let me out of here! Don’t leave me here because of your idiotic nature! If YOU hadn’t been so stupid to anger the wrong people, I wouldn’t have to kill you! YOU DESERVED TO DIE!” I screamed about how stupid they were for what seemed like hours on end. I said that I would love to kill them over and over again that they were idiots for trapping me in this box. Finally, two buttons dropped from a ceiling-colored trap door. A voice came from above. We will drop one of our people into there. One button kills him, the other lets him live. You get to decide what happens. If you kill him, you can leave. A man jumped down the trapdoor and turned towards me. I observed his profile. He looked around 25 years old, and he had dark hair. His clothing was ragged and made him seem like a beggar, but his stature showed that he was much more than that and was probably some nobleman. I quickly lunged upon the buttons and kept them near me. They were both red, and they both had text written on it. One of them said “Kill” the other said “Save”. The man started to speak, trembling as he did so, “P-p-please sir. They are holding me captive. T-they said that my life is in your hands. I have a family you know and kids. Just don’t kill me.” I noted a slight arrogance in his tone which led me to deeply dislike him. He offered to tell me his story, and I agreed. Maybe he had something useful to say. After all, I had his life within my hands, and I could end it any second I chose. He started to talked, much of which I didn’t pay attention to. After a while, I noticed something peculiar. The buttons were in his cold and filthy hands. He kept on pressing save over and over again, but nothing was happening. I punched him in the face and while he was writhing in pain, I took the buttons back. I quickly pressed Kill. I blacked out. I woke up with chains around my hands and a letter projected on the wall in front of me. I was in a dungeon. I quickly observed my surroundings, and I noticed other victims of this place. Bodies hanging in chains of cells close to me. I started to panic. I then started to read the letter on the wall. The letter says as follows.

Hello Mr. Kolton,

My name is Ranofer Smith. I am you. If you haven’t realized by now, this is a dream. I am your subconscious mind, but I haven’t been able to come out and reveal myself to you. I have been able to control your dreams when you are asleep. You have to realize that I have seen everybody you have killed and lost. I believed it was because you just had nightmares, that you really didn’t kill anybody, but today I have seen the truth. It’s not too late for us to change, no more killing, we have enough money already. Even though I can’t help you in the real world, you can help both of us. Please do this for me.

-- Ranofer Smith

Suddenly, I felt someone shaking me. “Hey, doc, come over here! He’s awake”. The doctor walked over to me and informed me that I had been asleep for 48 hours, starting that night when I entered my cabin. After a series of questions, I walked back to my cabin from the sick bay. After hearing a beeping noise I checked my phone in my pocket.”

2492349324
From: Unknown
To: Joe Kolton

I have a job for you. The target is Mort Forto, and the price is $1.1 million. The money will be at the regular drop off point after the job is completed. Send me a message back if interested.

I looked at my phone, thinking about the dream and everything that happened. I sent a message back with two words.

“I’m interested”

I walked up to the bow of the ship and looked out into the endless vast ocean which lay before me. I thought of what had occurred to me, and I knew that maybe the letter was right. Maybe I should just throw my phone into the ocean and just forget about my past. Maybe this was not who I was meant to be. "Hahahahaha. You really think I will listen to you Ranofer Smith. I think you are just a figment of my imagination and you have no control over me. A dream is just a dream. I'm going to get this $1.1 million and you can do nothing to stop me." I was raising my voice. "I think I should prove how powerful I am. I'm going to kill every single person on this ship, and you can do nothing to stop me."

I turned around. People were giving me strange glances. I walked back to my cabin and started to plan. I removed the plank beside my bed which contained my weapons. I took out the bombs I had. I knew what had to be done. I snuck out of my cabin and placed them around the ship. I knew in my heart if I did this, I could never go back. I jumped onto a lifeboat and sailed away. In my mind questions arose: Why was I doing this? What this just out of spite? Why was I murdering INNOCENT LIVES who did nothing to deserve this? Or maybe.. Maybe I was just crazy. A senile man who just cared about money. Maybe I was doing this to prove this point to myself. The answers to these questions didn't come to me, but I knew what my mind wanted me to do. I sat down again determined not to blow up the ship. I sat on the detonator.
I saw the fiery ship sinking into the ocean, temporarily deaf from the explosion. Initiating phase shift.. 5... 4 I was tired of this. ..3 Tired of killing. Tired of running. I took the gun I had in my pocket ...2....1 BANG. Phase shift complete.

The year was 1989. I was standing on the corner of the street as cars bustled by. I recognized this place and realized how cruel fate was. This was where I started my career. The night when I was blackmailed into giving up my family. I had to save them. I walked into my house to be greeted by my children. "Tell your mom that we are in danger. That you need to get out of the house now. It’s important.” After they ascended the stairs, I ran out of the house. If they didn’t make it out in time, I had to meet the people who were going to take them away. I waited for what seemed like an eternity, but what was only 5 minutes to a car pulling up to the front of the house. A man walked out. The man who payed me 500k to let them be taken. I took my gun out of my back pocket and pointed it at him. He called his bodyguards and told them to come out of the car. Hands trembling, they found it’s way to the trigger. This was for my family, to save them from what I had forced upon them. Initiating phase shift. There was no countdown this time, and I knew I was too late. The house was gone. I realized that I needed to find a way to stop “phase-shifting”, to end this entirely. I started to wonder if I had truly gone crazy. The street was completely barren. Several houses were in a state of decay and the sky was darkened. I walked slowly out of the neighborhood in a random direction until I found a camp. I saw that food and water had been set out, and my hunger took over. I started to eat when a group of people came upon me holding guns. They asked who I was, and I told them I needed help. I was then hit in the back of my head with the barrel of a gun. I woke up to hear two of them talking. “Do you think.. that he might actually be from the White House? They said that they would send someone to save us from this misery.” “Haha, you really think that they actually sent someone. All they care about is themselves even though they were the ones who started this nuclear war in the first place.”

“Well, if it’s not someone from the government, who is he? A bandit?”

I started to talk, “I will tell you who I am if you will listen. I ask for only one thing, to join you if I am evaluated fit.” I knew that this was my only chance of survival. If there was a nuclear war, there was probably no other safe place to go. They both approached me, exchanging glances, I heard unspoken words about how long I’d been awake. “Tell us who you are”. I told them that I was a straggler, and I had been with another base before bandits destroyed it. I said I was roaming before I found this place, and I ate the food because I was starving. Occasionally they asked me questions, but they listened quietly. After I had finished, my handcuffs were removed. I knew the opportunity I had been given. I had a fresh start in a new and dangerous world. I had been given a second chance, and as I looked up to the sky I was met with a spectacle of stars. “Joe! Joe!” a voice said yelled behind me. I turned around to see my doctor standing over me. I was sleeping in a bed, and slowly I tried to move my legs and body. It felt like a robot, awakening after a long time. I got up and stretched my legs while the doctors and nurses talked in hushed murmurs amongst themselves. I was soon informed that I had been in a coma for the past 3 years. The cruiseliner I had been on had exploded, and I was found adrift in the water, surprisingly unharmed. I asked about my family, and they shook their heads. They told me that they were murdered a few years before the cruise. I sighed and shook my head. It had all been a deception. My imagination running wild again. Then I remembered the people on the cruiseliner. The 108 people who I had killed. I started to hyperventilate a little and the doctor came into the room and started to check my blood pressure. While he was checking I slowly turned my head to look at his face. The captain of the ship stared back at me. I started to scream.



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