I could feel it watching me. Everywhere I went, it’s red, beady eyes followed. It’s intense eyes stared into my very soul, searching for every little sin I’d ever committed. It was the worst kind of torture anyone could receive. Those eyes reminded me of a dull knife in my stomach that twisted over and over again. It made me think of every transgression, every infraction, every vice I had ever done. I was vulnerable under its gaze. It pressured me to find anything that would cause such a consequence. As fast as lightning, a red flag went up in my head. Murder, it was murder. What I had done, my deadliest sin, was murder. The sixth commandment, “Thou shall not kill.” I did it anyway; I killed Him.

I was running. Sweat poured down my face and neck, soaking into the white hem of my shirt. My lungs felt like they were going to explode and my legs ached and felt like they would fall off if I took another step. Everything in my mind told me to stop running and accept the fact that this was the end, but I didn’t dare stop. I couldn’t understand anything. The only sound I could hear was my own blood pounding through my head. The only thing I felt was the pain that left my body feeling numb. The only thing I saw was the dirt road that wove through the trees of an overgrown forest. I finally realized what was going on. I was running. I was being chased. I was being watched. I could hear the echoing screech of a raven.

“STOP! PUT YOUR HANDS UP, WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!” a loud, booming voice said. I didn’t stop, I kept running…..right into a line of police officers. I slowed down and came to a stop. All around me, officers pointed their guns directly at my body. I was terrified. I wanted to die. I wanted to die just like he did.

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have read to you? With these rights in mind, do you still wish to speak?”

I nodded, only half understanding the Miranda Rights that had just been named to me. I was so afraid, but I knew exactly how I would get out of this. It was a bit extreme but it wasn’t worried about my guilty conscience. I was just sick of being left alone. I was ready to be with my him again. He was the world to me, and i wanted him back. I will have him back. I heard the taunting screech of the raven once again. It was like a warning that I ignored entirely. I slipped my hand into the pocket of my sweater and drew out a gun, the gun i used to kill him not even an hour ago. I raised it slowly at the officer that was directly in front of me.

“DROP YOUR WEAPON, NOW!” the same officer as before yelled.

He had to be in charge. He was the only one that ever seemed to speak. He would be the one that would cause the most mayhem. I quickly turned to face him, my gun now facing his head, and pulled the trigger. The recoil sent me staggering back a few steps and the sound of the bullet exiting the small pistol put me in blur. I saw officers running towards the now bloody body of the officer, others ducked and went for the safely of the squad cars. I couldn’t stop the small giggles that escaped my lips. Suddenly, I heard the dreadful screech of that raven again. My eyes went around in search of it. My eyes scanned the lone tree that was in the field. Right on top, resting on the highest branch, perched a black, red eyed raven. As soon as my eyes landed on it, I heard the sound of a bullet, and everything went black.

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“Why?” a voice asked

I awoke to darkness. Someone had asked me a question but I didn’t understand it. I didn’t understand anything at all. Where was I? Who was I? I just shook my head, trying to make any sense of the predicament i found myself facing.

Why? It repeated, in a monotone voice. It was as if It had no emotions at all.

I didn’t know who It was, and i didn’t know anything. I hadn’t done anything. I didn’t remember anything.

“Who am I?” I finally asked, “What do you want from me?”

A chuckle rang through my ears. I couldn’t find where the voice was coming from. It was as if it was coming from all directions. It’s haunting voice playing games with me, tormenting me. “If you don’t remember, live it again.”

I looked down at my hands. They were blood stained. What had I done? I felt tears well up in the corner of my eyes. I felt dizzy. I didn’t understand. “Live it again.” What could that mean? It terrified me. I didn’t understand It at all. When I looked up, I found myself staring at a mirror. I spun around, finally taking in my surroundings. I was in a room of mirrors. I was covered in blood and dirt. I couldn’t even begin to reason why I looked the way I did, like a savage. My blue eyes seemed to be hungry and wild. My light brown hair was dirty, and covering most of my face.

“What happened to me?” I whispered.

I couldn’t find who the voice belonged to but I was positive it would hear me. I waited for an answer. It felt like hours passed. It was so silent I could hear the pulsing of my heart. I waited and waited and waited in vain; my answer never came.

“WHAT HAPPENED?” I screamed.

I wanted to know what was going on and why everything was so confusing. I didn’t remember anything except this:

My name was Riley Greene. I’m 16 years old. I live with my brother, Jason Greene. I have a…...a disorder…

Suddenly, It responded with a low, almost cryptic chuckle. Something was different this time around. It sounded as if the voice was right...behind me. I spun around, ignoring the throbbing in my head that had already started to form. Where the voice originated, It started to take form; the form of a man. As the body came together, I realized that something was wrong. His body was normal, nothing was wrong, but his head; It was covered in jet black feathers. He had a beak where his mouth and nose should have been. He was a raven. It sent shivers down my spine. Why was I so afraid of this bird? Why did it feel like the life was being sucked out of my very soul when I saw It? It’s blood-red eyes stared into my own aqua eyes. That look made me want to recoil, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of my defeat. Even then, I feared for my life…

“If you want to know, relive it.” the man-creature said again.

“How?” i asked in an almost whisper.

“Like this.” It said with a smile.

It grabbed both sides of my face and pulled me so close that we were nose to beak. I found myself mesmerized by the scarlet eyes of the beast. They trapped me like a lamb in the slaughterhouse, waiting for something to happen. And then, it did happen. My world disappeared.

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I woke up in a soft bed. The room was bright from the sun seeping in from the fabric of lavender curtains. I wanted to keep laying there but i couldn’t. I tried to lift my arm but it wouldn’t move. I tried to shift my leg but it was as if it was frozen. Where had It gone? It was as if I was put into a new reality, I liked it. The only downside to all of this would be my lack of mobility.

“Riley!” I heard someone shout from downstairs. It was a man’s voice. A name came to mind when I heard the voice, Jason.

“I’m coming!” someone yelled...I had yelled. I realized that the words had come out of my own mouth. Suddenly, I was moving. My leg kicked out over the edge of my bed and I stood up. I stretched my arms out before I took my first step toward the door. I walked slowly across the beige, carpet-covered floor as I made my way to the voice of Jason. I walked down a flight of stairs that led to a rather large kitchen. Someone was standing at the stove, cooking what looked like sausage and eggs, my favorite breakfast.

I tried to speak but it was as if my throat was closed.

“Morning Jason, when did you get here?” the girl...I asked. This was rather peculiar. Not being able to control this body was such an odd feeling. It was as if I was invading this body, even if i somehow knew it was my own.

“Not morning, afternoon; it’s already about 3. And i got in this morning. I dropped my stuff off and went to refill this,” he said holding up a small orange bottle, “but it looks as if you haven’t taken your medication in the year i’ve been gone.” He gave me a stern look before grabbing a plate to fill with my “breakfast”. I got up to grab a cup for some orange juice but a noise peaked my interest. It was the sound of a bird; the raven was back. I wanted to stop and find it but the body didn’t stop moving. On the side of my plate on a white napkin laid a small yellow and grey pill. I don’t know why the body started feeling uneasy, but it had to do with the pill.

I went through the motions of everyday life. I ate when I was supposed to, I answered without thinking, I did what I was told, and I couldn’t do anything different. By 9 o’clock that night, I was sick of it. I had started to remember some more things about my disorder. I was a sociopath. Today, the kinder way of saying it would be, antisocial personality disorder. That means I hate not being in control and what I went through today was driving me up a wall. It was like little spiders crawling over my skin or an itch I couldn’t reach. I was ready to give up.

I wasn’t sure what was going on. I felt like i was more in control or maybe the body was starting to give up too. I walked into what would have been my parent’s room if they ever bothered to come home from “business” trips. I walked to the closet and grabbed a small, black, leather box from off the top shelf. It had a lock on it that the body grabbed from under the mattress. I unlocked the box and took hold of the black handle. A gun, that’s what was in my hand at that moment. I was ready. I could start to feel something in my stomach. It was like my emotions and the emotions of the body started to come together. I wanted to be in control and she wanted to stop being alone. I felt the cool metal of the barrel press against my temple. I was ready to pull the trigger when suddenly, i heard someone shout my name.

“Riley!”

Jason, he tried to stop me. Instead, I turned the gun to him. He had no right to stop me. He should have let me kill myself. I shot at him. The bang and recoil sent a shiver through my body. I looked at his limp body crumple to the floor in his own pile of blood. I just stared at him until he moved. He stood from where he laid, looked at me, and smiled. His light aqua eyes had turned to a deep, blood red.

“Why?” he asked. It wasn’t his own voice, it was the voice of the man-like raven. I felt frozen, but I managed to scream. He smiled one last peculiar grin, and fell to the floor.

It was then that i realized what I was reliving. I was a sociopath…

I walked slowly past the body. I sprinted towards the back door. From where I stood, I heard a banging at the front door followed by a man shouting, “Police, OPEN UP! We got a call about a gunshot on the premises….”

Images started running through my head. Police, a forest, a gun, and a raven. It felt like a million needles were being stabbed into my brain. As I remembered what was going to happen, I ran. I ran straight to my death...again. I heard the final cry of my raven.