Correlativity
11/11/11 11: 47 PM
Entry: Unknown

Here I stand at the endless cliff of my understanding, I study the crevice below billowing up fire pleading the edge to give in, and fall into the inferno. But how could I? I cant help but contemplate my existence as the beveled edge beckons the part of me that no longer wishes to be himself. I see something in the fire...the form of a man seems to manifest itself within the flames, calling for recognition it speaks. The words that followed out of the mouth of the Beast boomed and echoed as if the very foundation of reality were constructed of the voice itself. I did not hear the voice, but I felt it. It seemed to have no need to enter itself through my ears, but the voice seemed to have awakened within me, penetrating my deepest thoughts until there was nothing left but the words filling a hole that seemed to be bottomless until now.
The Beast ascended out of the canyon. The flames from the fire lingered on his body, spiraling around, engulfing his appearance. He spoke again, causing me to lose my balance and fall to my knees. I began to feel weak and unable to have any control of what I was doing. The torn sky, already riddled with dark clouds responded and gave unto the Beast what remained of its light. The Beast presented the light to me. Suddenly the offering seemed too distant to desire, too far from my reach. The offering did not seem like it was really something I could attain. The Beast lowered his hand and dropped the orb of light into the void, where it burst and illuminated what was across the canyon. It was the most beautiful place I have ever seen, where the sun rested gently on the grassy hills, banking and rolling through a valley that seemed to go on forever. The clean white clouds seeped into the valley as if they were old friends, smiling as if the only desire they had was to make me more comfortable. The grass blew onward, reflecting the calming golden rays of the sun into my eyes, beckoning me forward, as if welcoming my arrival. I reached out for it, but as I did, slowly the whole scene began to slip farther away from me, the fiery Demon once again motioned his hand to the valley as if giving me one last chance. I couldn't. It wasn't mine. I couldn't figure out why, but I refused.
The voice of the Beast boomed in my mind again and the cavernous canyon erupted in flames, catching fire to the Elysium on the other side of the endless cliffside. And as the wind changes direction, the haven incinerated and disappeared. As the light fades darkness fell around me, only illuminated by the rims of the dark flames that engulfed the entity before me. As everything around me faded from view the universe seemed to only allow me to see the Beast. As he descended to the ground before me it shook violently, and I felt too heavy to stand. I had but only enough strength to lift my gaze to the Demons face and what I saw shook the foundations of my soul, and will torment me until my demise. The flames receded from the silhouette and I peered into the eyes of someone I never wanted to see...myself.

"What does it mean?"
"Does it have to have a meaning?"
"It sounds like some profound work of literature, don't these things have a deeper meaning?
"It could have one, but it doesn't need too, I hope it doesn't..."
"Well its still a great story, even though I have no idea what its talking about,"
"Hahaha. It is, isn't it. But thats not why I am interested in this recording, but it is not really helping me find what I am looking for."
"I thought you just said you hoped it didn't have a meaning?"
" Thats why I am looking so hard Gordon, I need to make sure it doesn't have one."
" If you keep on playing that recording I am going to start having chronic nightmares. The baby is already taking enough of my sleep from me. Why don't you catch up on some as well?"
"I cant I need to be sure-"
"-do you know what happens to men who try to find meaning in everything?"
" What?"
"They find it. Whats worse is they end up deriving something that was never there."
"Or maybe its a revelation, doesn't that say something? Maybe everything does have meaning...granted, I hope you are right. Im just worried-"
"Don't be. Why is this so important anyway? Its just a story."
" One that was recorded by a man right before he disappeared."
" Maybe he just liked recording this stuff. As I said, it is a great story. But its fictional, and shouldn't have any meaning to you. If you sit there listening long enough you are going to end up creating something from something meaningless. I am going to bed, and you better get home."
"Alright Gordon. But one last thing: sometimes the most meaningful stories... are the ones we tell ourselves."