Why Even Care When No One Else Does?”
Could you imagine wanting to stop breathing ....and just cause pain to yourself thinking that hurting yourself physically would help you mentally? Could you even imagine not caring about a single thing in the world? Could you imagine what it was like to want hurt yourself? Well thats me. Ashley Marie Johnson.
*Beep Beep Beep* I slammed my alarm it was 6:30 in the morning. I didnt want to get out of my bed. I didnt want to go and face the pain of what others had to say today is my 14th birthday it had to be perfect today I was going to go one day without hurting myself without suicidal thoughts I was going to be a new person I was going to change. I threw on my favorite jeans and a white spaghetti tanktop and a blue and white striped button up shirt. I ran downstairs to find my pain in the butt Mom. "Hey wheres Dad?"
"He’s out on the boat you disgrace of a child!"
"What did I do this time?" I waited there waiting for a twenty­minute lecture
"You left your shoes on the front porch and your jacket was on my hook not yours!"
"Thats because your jackets were on all the other hooks and my shoes were all sandy from the beach yesterday!"
"Did I ask for your sass?" "No Mom Im sorry." "Thats what I thought!"
I put on my sandals and ran outside I went down the steps to the sidewalk stopped waited for like three cars to pass then crossed. I reached the docks the only place where I was ever happy other than the cliffs. I saw my Dad he was at the little store where they sold bait and other fishing materials. I knew he would be heading to the boat soon so i ran over it to find a surprize.I looked at my Dads boat it had streamers
?and balloons all over it with a banner that said Happy Birthday in huge letters. Oh my goodness I thought to myself look at all of this.... all of this­ for me. I was so surprised then out of nowhere i was falling off the dock into the water. I was terrified at first I quickly swam to the surface and saw my father standing on the dock. I couldn't believe it my Dad was gonna get it."Hey I told you I was going to get you birthday girl! I figured why not now?"
"You're gonna get it I have a list of pranks a mile long!"
I swam over to the latter and climbed up. It was cold at first but then my best friend Dom came up behind me and hugged he was so warm! "Hey birthday girl!"
"Hey," I liked him so much he was the only reason why I was breathing right now.
"Thanks!"
We went into my Dads little yacht. I grabbed a sprite for him and I. I tossed it to him "catch!" he almost missed.
"Thanks, so I heard your Mom screaming at you this morning is everything okay?"
"Yeah­well­ not really, just my typical Mom."
"Oh well I hope everything works out."
"Thanks I'll be back in like an hour okay. I'm gonna go take a walk
can you tell my Dad I will be right back?" "Anything for the birthday girl."
"Thanks." He smiled so I smiled back then got off the boat and ran down the docks. I was going to my favorite spot to hang out the cliffs I loved to listen to the ocean waters slam the mountains wall. It was kinda like the place that relieved all my stress. I finally was there after about 15 minutes I went the edge of the cliff and sat down I could whisper to me and start to yell as the waves got closer to the cliffs. I looked over the clip then heard talking. It sounded like Stacy.
"Hey there's the little ratchet birthday girl!" she laughed. I rolled my eyes and ignored her and her squad. "Hey Ashley are you gonna answer me or are you too scared huh?"
"Stacy why don't you just leave me alone for one day? Why can't you just stop being a pain for one day?"
"I'll stop being a pain the day you jump off this cliff okay? okay! Oh yeah heres your diary back sorry I was dying to read it I'm gonna go find Dom now too see if he knows." She turned around and started heading back up the path with her squad.
"Hey Stacy!"
"What?"
"You can stop being a pain because I'm gonna take the leap or jump
right now­­Maybe­­you should watch what you say to others because it hurts. It makes them want to stop breathing to not live and you've been bullying me for four years now I'm tired of cutting myself to have relief this is my relief right here! I Ashley Marie Johnson is gonna die on the day of her birthday bye Stacy..."
I turned around and looked over the cliff threw my diary back at Stacy and then jumped as I was falling I was thinking of my Dad and Dom. Then I heard Stacy yell "Noooo I was bluffing,'' as I was falling falling I was falling I've dreamt of this so many times but this was real I was falling then, I heard the noise of my body hit the water.
I opened my eyes in the water and saw bubbles all around me. I arose to the top saw the wave it took me under. I heard my lungs screaming for air they felt as they were on fire i gulped for air and failed to receive some in the end I was filled with water. Everything started to become blurry I saw a slide show type thing full of memories since I was real little. I wish it could still be like that. Then I was back in pain with water devouring my little lungs. I floated to the top I felt numb the last thing I saw was a helicopter coming lowering down to my rescue.Why Even Care When No One Else Does?”
Could you imagine wanting to stop breathing ....and just cause pain to yourself thinking that hurting yourself physically would help you mentally? Could you even imagine not caring about a single thing in the world? Could you imagine what it was like to want hurt yourself? Well thats me. Ashley Marie Johnson.
*Beep Beep Beep* I slammed my alarm it was 6:30 in the morning. I didnt want to get out of my bed. I didnt want to go and face the pain of what others had to say today is my 14th birthday it had to be perfect today I was going to go one day without hurting myself without suicidal thoughts I was going to be a new person I was going to change. I threw on my favorite jeans and a white spaghetti tanktop and a blue and white striped button up shirt. I ran downstairs to find my pain in the butt Mom. "Hey wheres Dad?"
"He’s out on the boat you disgrace of a child!"
"What did I do this time?" I waited there waiting for a twenty­minute lecture
"You left your shoes on the front porch and your jacket was on my hook not yours!"
"Thats because your jackets were on all the other hooks and my shoes were all sandy from the beach yesterday!"
"Did I ask for your sass?" "No Mom Im sorry." "Thats what I thought!"
I put on my sandals and ran outside I went down the steps to the sidewalk stopped waited for like three cars to pass then crossed. I reached the docks the only place where I was ever happy other than the cliffs. I saw my Dad he was at the little store where they sold bait and other fishing materials. I knew he would be heading to the boat soon so i ran over it to find a surprize.I looked at my Dads boat it had streamers
?and balloons all over it with a banner that said Happy Birthday in huge letters. Oh my goodness I thought to myself look at all of this.... all of this­ for me. I was so surprised then out of nowhere i was falling off the dock into the water. I was terrified at first I quickly swam to the surface and saw my father standing on the dock. I couldn't believe it my Dad was gonna get it."Hey I told you I was going to get you birthday girl! I figured why not now?"
"You're gonna get it I have a list of pranks a mile long!"
I swam over to the latter and climbed up. It was cold at first but then my best friend Dom came up behind me and hugged he was so warm! "Hey birthday girl!"
"Hey," I liked him so much he was the only reason why I was breathing right now.
"Thanks!"
We went into my Dads little yacht. I grabbed a sprite for him and I. I tossed it to him "catch!" he almost missed.
"Thanks, so I heard your Mom screaming at you this morning is everything okay?"
"Yeah­well­ not really, just my typical Mom."
"Oh well I hope everything works out."
"Thanks I'll be back in like an hour okay. I'm gonna go take a walk
can you tell my Dad I will be right back?" "Anything for the birthday girl."
"Thanks." He smiled so I smiled back then got off the boat and ran down the docks. I was going to my favorite spot to hang out the cliffs I loved to listen to the ocean waters slam the mountains wall. It was kinda like the place that relieved all my stress. I finally was there after about 15 minutes I went the edge of the cliff and sat down I could whisper to me and start to yell as the waves got closer to the cliffs. I looked over the clip then heard talking. It sounded like Stacy.
"Hey there's the little ratchet birthday girl!" she laughed. I rolled my eyes and ignored her and her squad. "Hey Ashley are you gonna answer me or are you too scared huh?"
"Stacy why don't you just leave me alone for one day? Why can't you just stop being a pain for one day?"
"I'll stop being a pain the day you jump off this cliff okay? okay! Oh yeah heres your diary back sorry I was dying to read it I'm gonna go find Dom now too see if he knows." She turned around and started heading back up the path with her squad.
"Hey Stacy!"
"What?"
"You can stop being a pain because I'm gonna take the leap or jump
right now­­Maybe­­you should watch what you say to others because it hurts. It makes them want to stop breathing to not live and you've been bullying me for four years now I'm tired of cutting myself to have relief this is my relief right here! I Ashley Marie Johnson is gonna die on the day of her birthday bye Stacy..."
I turned around and looked over the cliff threw my diary back at Stacy and then jumped as I was falling I was thinking of my Dad and Dom. Then I heard Stacy yell "Noooo I was bluffing,'' as I was falling falling I was falling I've dreamt of this so many times but this was real I was falling then, I heard the noise of my body hit the water.
I opened my eyes in the water and saw bubbles all around me. I arose to the top saw the wave it took me under. I heard my lungs screaming for air they felt as they were on fire i gulped for air and failed to receive some in the end I was filled with water. Everything started to become blurry I saw a slide show type thing full of memories since I was real little. I wish it could still be like that. Then I was back in pain with water devouring my little lungs. I floated to the top I felt numb the last thing I saw was a helicopter coming lowering down to my rescue.