?Bryan
He walked over to a small table off to the side with his vanilla ice cream and a hand full of change. His feet sat in his dress shoes sockless and boney as he hunched over his ice cream and put his change in his front right pocket. Under his faded, but ever so clean white and green baseball hat he did a lot of people watching, his face barely ever visible but I could just make out his eyes under his glasses. Small and brown like a new born fawn. His face was smooth, like he never hit puberty and he had a nervous habit of scratching below his left year.
A mother was wheeling her child in a shopping cart over a table adjacent to his while she waited for a happy meal. As she was turning the cart next to the table, it bumped his. His eyes darted up to the disturbance and his hands froze.
“Sorry!” the mother said, as she nervously smiled and pulled the cart away, I could tell she wasn’t sure how to react, and it made it seem like her words and facial expressions were extremely forced.
He continued to stare, not at her, but at her son, saying nothing. As she seated her son and walked over to get his happy meal, the man’s hand reached back up behind his ear and the scratching feverously continued. His eyes never left that boy.
An older woman called him over, “Bryan, c’mon Honey.” He stood up and meticulously walked over to the merry-go-round. As he threw away his finished vanilla ice cream, the child he appeared to be with fell to the ground. He grabbed the boy by his wrist and yanked him up. Bryan began to raise his voice ever so slightly and I squinted my eyes to get a better look, the boys sleeve fell down faintly. What were those marks?
“‘Scuse me ma’am” My head snapped up and a middle aged woman with an out of date perm was in my face.
“Ma’am,” she repeated, as her perfume wafted into my nostrils, “You’re not allowed to bring carts outside of Wal-Mart.”
I followed her back to Wal-Mart like a little kid in trouble and pushed the cart into an aisle. Then I speed walked back to McDonalds and sat back down in my spot, watching Bryan once again.
“Charles, momma, let’s get going now … please”
What? What did he say? I knew that voice, I knew that weak, innocent “please”. Bryan, Bryan, Bryan, those eyes. Those doe-like, brown eyes. Everything flooded into my head like…like I don’t even know.
I knew my Bryan.
It was 1972 and he was in the art class next to mine all junior year, but we never talked. He had straight back hair angles to a point on his face and he always wore a hoodie. Every day I passed his seat to move on to my class, and every day the same thing occurred. I’d start to walk past him and he’d look up for a second, then quickly look back down and push up his hood to cover his face. Then as I passed him I’d look back slightly only to find him staring at me while I walked into the next room to my seat. All I knew a year was that his name started with a B and he was a freshman.
There was a fair in the center of town this year, so I dragged Deanna to it on a June Thursday night. We walked across the street and got our tickets as my eyes scanned the faces around me. “Bryan!” a girl yelled, and my eyes darted her way as she leapt into his arms. She literally leapt. Like what is this, I’m sure she saw him a few hours ago. Wait, it was him. His fingers intertwined with hers, but he never smiles really. He just kept the same expression I had seen every day, all year. I didn’t tell Deanna, but right then it became my mission to get him. He was going to be mine; I mean have you seen his girlfriend? I didn’t have much competition. Her face was oily and uneven and she was one of those girls that just yelled about everything just so people would look at her. Her eyes were too big for her face and she wore jet black eye liner around them. Seriously, like two black circles. I mean, I wear eye liner too, but I sure as hell don’t look like that. And her haaaiir. It was red and always in an unbrushed ponytail. Don’t get me wrong, I have red hair. I love it. But girl, you got to brush it. Her name was May and her parents should have named her Monday because I hate Mondays and I hate her. I quickly lost him in the crowd after few seconds so Deanna and I walked around for a while. She convinced me to ride this green thing and when I got off of seeing triples. I went to sit on a bench but instead I knocked his girlfriend over. “Oops” I said, but I didn't feel bad “Are you serious”’ she said “Chill girl” I said back and she pushed me into the bench. I replied to her weak shove with “Oh honey please” and knocked her square on her a**. “Bryan!”, she wailed as I smiled and walked away. Bryan half jogged half walked past me and our eyes met. I made sure my eyes stayed locked in his and he is subconsciously started to slow down and I knew he didn’t want to look away. This was going to be easier than I anticipated I thought.
The next day I was standing in the hallway with Casey and wouldn't you know it, her and Bryan standing 10 feet away from me. He smiled when she wasn’t looking and my heart dropped to the floor. I froze for a moment then virtually smacked myself “Oh no no no Madelyn Jane don't you dare fall for him yet” he weakly put his arm around her but looked at me often. Hell yeah I looked back. The bell rang and we walked past each other. We were literally 6 inches away from each other and he just stared right at me, his big brown eyes never left mine. My friend Brooke text me and I asked her if she knew him. All she said was stay away. Naturally this made me want him even more. In art I took my project and moved it to the next room right next to him. I placed it down and started working. A few minutes later I looked at him and I said “Hey this look like s***?” A second passed and he didn't answer, damn it I look like a fool. But then all of a sudden he looked up, looked at me and said in the most beautiful way possible “No I like it.” I was completely unprepared for hearing his voice flutter into my ears. My friend kept calling me back into the other art room but I really didn't want to leave. I wanted him to say those four words over and over again. Towards the end of class he asked the teacher to go the bathroom and swiftly left the room. Deanna and Emma walked in and I said “Hey quick write my number on this piece of paper” they look confused and just stood there. “GUYS do it!” I said as my heartbeat grew faster by the second. They scribbled my number on a blank piece of blue paper and I slid it into his backpack. He came back and the bell rang. I was so flustered I practically ran out of the room and straight to physics. For the rest of the day I was edgy and jittery and I just wanted to get home.
A full day pass and he didn't text. Questions ran through my head. Did his girlfriend find it? Does he even know it was me? That day as I walked into art, I kept my head down and went straight to my seat.
When I got home an unknown number appeared on my screen in my heart dropped. I stared at it for a second and then I opened it. “Hey” was all that it said. Now what do I say to that? I just replied back with “Hi” and sat in my car waiting. “I um found this number in my backpack.” He said. This was a huge mistake, I ruined it. I didn’t’ even answer him I just closed my phone and walked up to my house. An hour passed in the same number popped up on my screen. “Who exactly are you?” It said. I guess I have to answer this time, “hey uh, I sat next to you a few days ago and I asked you if my project looked like s***. My names Madelyn.” “Oh, so why is my number in your backpack?” “Hahaha I just really wanted to talk, you seem cool.” Yeah this is going downhill real fast I should just quit while I’m ahead. “That’s cool I guess what’s up?” I guess he doesn't find me too weird and if he does he's not showing it.
We talked all night about anything anyone could ever talk about. I was on cloud 9 but I still had his girlfriend to deal with. The next day he texted me “Good morning” and it felt like things were getting really rushed but I could care less because I had him. Texting was okay I guess but it got boring real fast. I wanted to see him in person.
I picked up my phone and my fingers breeze across the keyboard and I said, “I know this is kind of weird because you really don't know me but let's hang out”.
I waited a few minutes and my phone lit up. I opened it slowly and “That would be great” showed up on my screen. I subconsciously smiled to myself and said “What you doing Friday?” He replied “Hanging out with you?:)”
Wednesday ended and Thursday came and went. Thursday was our day of school until summer vacation. It was finally Friday and I could not wait for tonight. I didn't have time to wait around, I wanted him now, so I figured I'll take him to the beach at night and have a fire.
I discovered he was a freshman, I was a junior but I mean it's not that much of an age difference. I pulled in his driveway at 7:57 and he walked down his driveway towards my car. I wanted him more now than I ever had. He walked towards me facing the setting sun. The shadows of his eyelashes danced across his face and I started to get nervous. As he opened my passenger side door he smiled the same smile I saw a few weeks before that and it was amazing. I'm usually not this sappy I swear you can ask anyone. There's just something about him that I couldn't resist. “Hey” he said, looking at me as he slid his hands up and down his jeans nervously. “You ready?” I said as I smirked. He was still a complete stranger to me but for some reason I felt overwhelmingly comfortable as soon as he sat down. “Of course” he said and once again his voice lifted me up and I had a high no drug could ever give me.
We got to the beach and I popped the trunk to get the wood. We got out and brought the wood down right near the water. I kicked my flip-flops off and dug my toes into the sand. I looked at him and said “It was a bad night to wear sneakers” and we both looked down at his feet and laughed. He slipped them off and laid out the blanket I brought as I started building the fire. When I finally got the fire lit we both laid down. It was slightly awkward because we never hung out and the closest we got to talking was those long stares. Before I knew it everything just clicked and we were both gazing at the stars talking about God knows what. Honestly, I was too distracted by his voice. Eventually we both stop talking and I looked at him. He was already staring right back at me and our eyes locked once again. We were so close, I could feel his breath on my cheek and I moved a little closer. He raised his hand and placed it on the back of my head. Before I knew it he was pulling me closer and closer until our lips met. When I say my heart stopped, I'm 90% sure it literally stopped. He began to kiss me and I kissed him right back. His hand slid down my back and pulled me until our bodies were pressed together. We kissed and kissed and I could've done until the day I died. He pulled his lips from mine and whispered in my ear “I’m sorry for my lack of control you don't know how long I've been waiting to do that.” Before I could answer, a light was shining in my face. “Beach closes at 10 you know, and no open flames are permitted.” I was stunned for a second and I looked up. There was a guy in a uniform right above me holding a flashlight up. “Have you two been drinking tonight?” He asked, and I replied with “No we’re high school and I have to drive home.” “Yeah that hasn't stopped anyone before.” He replied and he was kind of sassy. I got really angry for a moment because he ruined something I had wanted for so long. “Alright well put your fire out and lets get going.” He said, and Bryan and I kicked dirt on the fire that wasn't even lit anymore. The policemen walked us to my car and we both got in. He left and I looked at Bryan. “Sorry about that, I probably should've checked if we could have a fire.” “Hey I wouldn't change it for the world.” He replied.
I smiled at him for a second and then turned back to the steering wheel. I turned the key and the engine roared.
We got to his house and I put my car in park. “Sorry about the cops” I said as I looked up at him. He just looked at me and laughed, “I’ll see you later Madelyn.”
I was on top of the world for the rest of the night, until I laid down in my bed. May. She completely escaped my mind. I started getting nervous and I texted Bryan “What about May?” He never texted me back, and I stayed up staring at my ceiling. As you read that you probably think there’s no way she stared at a ceiling all night, but trust me I did. There was something about him that really affected me. It was 7:06 in the morning and I was watching some really bad early morning TV show when my phone lit up. “Don’t worry about her baby.” Seriously? Did he think I was going to be some side b****? Hell no.
“Don’t call me baby and don’t tell me not to worry about her, I’m not your baby yet.”
“Hey calm down Maddie, I’m ending it with her.”
“Wait, really?”
“How can I not end it after last night, you showed me how to feel alive.”
?Well that’s good enough for me. It felt so incredibly easy to trust him. A month went by and I was unbelievably happy. I decided to surprise him at his house, I mean technically it was our one month anniversary. It was a Thursday, so both of his parents were working. I pulled into his driveway and shut my engine off. I sat in my car for a few seconds and it was around 6. The sun was still high in the sky and a breeze blew through my car. I leaned back and thought everything’s going to work out.
?I finally opened my car door and picked up the little teddy bear from the passenger side seat. I opened the white gate to his yard and walked to his door. It was unlocked. This made the surprise even better. I slowly opened it and crept through the kitchen, the house was silent except for the hum of the radio coming from his room. Step by step I got closer to his room, finally I was at the door. I slowly turned to knob and opened the door.
?They both looked up at me a jumped. His big brown eyes. Her blue eyes dulled by her eyeliner.
?“Bryan.” I said through clenched teeth.
?“May.” I said again. I balled both of my fists and pushed my fingernails into my palms.
?“Madelyn…May, Maddie what are you doing here?” he asked me, I was going to ask him the same damn question but I felt strange for a few seconds, my veins felt cold like water ran through them, and then it turned to fire. I could feel the pulse in my head growing and I just started to scream.
?Bryan started to get up and May just sat on his bed and stared. You ruined it May. May’s going to pay. I turned around and my anger ripped down the hallway as I moved towards the kitchen. I feverishly opened drawers until I found the knives. I grabbed two and clenched my hands around them even harder than my teeth. I took a deep breath and smiled as I walked back down the hallway. I passed Bryan and he turned me to try to talk to me. I pushed him into his basement and locked it then kicked his bedroom door open. There she was.
?In the distance, I heard Bryan say “Madelyn Jane stop.” And then a small “please” followed as he banged on the cellar door.
?May stood up and said oddly calm “Hey get the hell out of here psycho, he doesn’t want you.”
?I went to smile and realized the smile never left my face.
“May’s going to pay.”
?Her screams stayed with me long after I was done, but I didn’t mind. I put on one of Bryans sweatshirts and walked by the basement. “Bye baby I’ll see you later” I said, and Bryan started yelling again. He was angry but every couple has fights. I walked out his door, through the white fence and got back into my car.
?The next day May was all over the news, and she was always on the TV weeks after. Her funeral came and went and they never caught her killer. Ha. Bryan moved away and he forgot to tell me but that was okay, I knew we’d find each other again.
?Well look, here we are, sitting in a mall at McDonalds. I’ll follow him home and surprise him again, I bet he missed me.