I'm tired of being scared, of always looking over my shoulder. Now, I may be exaggerating when I say this, but, I feel like even my paranoia is paranoid. I'm tired of having the sense that someone is watching me all the time. But I know one thing for sure. All this paranoia isn't for nothing. I look over my shoulder for a reason. I don't just watch the shadows for sheer fun. I watch my step in fear that, if I don't, they'll find me. If they find me, I'll fall. I'll fall into a dark, bottomless pit of hopelessness.

I can't fall. I have a child to take care of. She depends on me, like any child would. If I'm gone, she might as well be, too. She's only 8. I'm her mother. She needs me and I need her just as bad. What have I gotten myself into? How could I let myself make such a dangerous deal? I can't come through and it's only a matter of time before they find out. Before they start their hunt for my blood. I don't know what to do anymore.

I know Sheila is safer away from me but it's not that easy. I love my daughter but I can't provide for her any longer without putting her at risk. I know they're coming and when they do, I'm dead. It's as simple as that. I can't do this. I can't run. I just need to disappear with Sheila. I'm giving Sheila a bath tomorrow. That's when I'll do it. Then, when I'm done, I have some pills in my room for me. I'm sorry but I have no other choice. I'm out of options and time. I'm sorry, Sheila. You don't deserve this, but, at least we can be together, right?