The first time I saw him it changed my life. He was extremely handsome, with blue eyes and blonde hair. He seemed like the stereotypical love interest in all of those popular teen romance novels. However, after that moment, I knew; I wanted to kill him. I didn’t know how and I didn’t know when, but I was going to be the one to murder him. Up until this point, my life had been normal, I got good grades and I was in band. I was so innocent, no one would suspect me. I could get away with anything. Well, I thought I could.

Everything had changed after I saw him; he was all I could think about. The perfect guy everyone knew as Connor Flynn.

My friends thought I had a crush on him, which was completely understandable. He was a member of the football team and ASB and basically everything else our school offered. He seemed to do everything, and know everyone; that’s why I thought that I could get away with it.

I guess I’ve always thought about ways that I could kill someone like, what objects could be used in the case of an emergency. I had always been curious. I guess that had started with the murder mystery computer games I used to play. One of them was about a high school student who was murdered and I had to figure out who did it based on the people he interacted with. This made me start to wonder if I could get away with it. I mean, Connor was like the murder victim in that game. I thought that maybe I wouldn’t make the same mistakes the killer did in the game.

I had started to search him online and find all of his social media platforms: Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tumblr, Reddit, Medium, LinkedIn, and anything else I could find. Using these, I pieced together what his daily schedule was like and what places he frequently visited. We never went to the same places, aside from school, except for on that one day when I decided that he was going to die.

It was only because my friends had made me go out with them after the basketball game. As a tradition, after the first game, members of the band would go to the local diner and cause havoc for a couple hours. And apparently, the basketball team did that too. Because he showed up about an hour after we did. I only stared at him, thinking of ways that I could kill him. We were in two completely different groups of people, Connor being popular and me being, well, not.

This seemed to make it easier, but also harder because we never talked. If he were to have started talking to me right before he died, I would be a suspect. I had to make sure that he and I didn’t speak before it happened. That way, there would be less of a chance of a slip up, less of a chance for him to mention my name to anyone.

When the time came, I followed him back to his house. It was after basketball season had ended so, for once, he was going home on time. The knife felt like lead in my jacket pocket. My rubber gloves restricted the feeling of the cold, smooth metal against my hand. With each step, I gripped the handle tighter and tighter. My hand wrapped around the handle of the knife, with my thumb resting on top of my index finger. My palm felt sweaty inside the rubber gloves.

As he approached his front door, he finally realized that I was there.

“Ummmm, hi?” he asked as he stared at me confused. “You’re Danielle Howell, right?”

“Yeah, but I prefer Danni.”

“Okay, cool. I’m Connor, but you probably already knew that. So, why did you follow me home?”

“I heard that you’re really good with math and I’m having a lot of trouble understanding this problem and we have a test this week and I was…”

“Wondering if I would help you? Okay, yeah, sure. What do you need help with?”

“Uhhh, the chain rule. I’m just not understanding it all,” I lied. I had topped the class in the derivatives unit.

“Okay, why don’t you come inside and I’ll help as best as I can.” He had seemed so unsure about helping me. Well, I guess I would’ve too if this random person I’d never talked to followed me home.

“Sounds like a deal,” I replied as he turned around and walked inside.

I followed him inside and his house looked exactly like what you would imagine. It went directly into a small white hall with family portraits and school pictures littering the walls. His baby pictures and annual school portraits were mixed in as well. The typical movie set hallway. After a few seconds, the small hallway opened up into a living room with white leather couches and a flat screen TV mounted on the wall above an electric fireplace.

“Just make yourself comfortable. I’m going to go change,” Connor said as he turned to walk down the stairs in the corner of the living room.

“Okay.”

As he made his way down the stairs, there was no sound. The stairs didn’t creak. Perfect. I slowly crept downstairs, trying to avoid drawing his attention. I took out the knife and held it tight. He opened his bedroom door and as he closed it, he saw me.

“Danni, you didn’t have to follow, I’m just changing clothes.”
I kept quiet as I approached him.

“Just head back upstairs and I’ll head back up in…” His eyes widened as he saw the knife in my hand and started to wander around the room, trying to find an escape. His breathing became labored as he started to back away.

“Get away from me! Leave right now!” he shouted withdrawing further into his room in an attempt to escape me. His hands groping his pockets in an attempt to find his phone. His face showed his confusion and alarm when he couldn’t find it.

I just laughed. “Your phone is upstairs, you dumbass. You threw it on the couch.”

“S***. Why’re you doing this? Did I do something to you?” he pleaded moving towards the back corner of his room as I advanced.

“Yeah, you’re alive.”

He started to scream as I brought up the knife. He couldn’t fight back. He had himself pinned back in the corner of his room. It didn’t take long for him to become quiet.

I slowly backed away and smiled at the mess I caused. I had succeeded in my goal and my plan had gone perfect. All that was left was to let his body get found.

But, I didn’t account for the fact they had security cameras. How could I’ve been so stupid?

I walked out of his house and past the school, making sure to throw away the knife and the gloves in a school trash can.

When I got home, I went upstairs and got in the shower. As soon as I got out, I put my clothes in a washer, in an attempt to get Connor’s blood off my shirt. I went to my room and that’s where I remained.

I was sitting on my bed when I heard them. The sirens blaring on my quiet street, as the red and blue flashing lights came into view. They knocked on the front door and my mom opened it. I heard her gasp of surprise, and her denial, when they told her what I had done.

I heard them walk up the stairs, under my mom’s guidance, to my room. They opened up the door but I just smiled.

“Hey guys, how’re you doing today?” I questioned through my smile.

“Danielle Howell, you’re under arrest for the murder of Connor Flynn.”

“But Officer, he ran into my knife, he ran into my knife ten times.” My mom just stared at me confused and concerned. “He had it coming, he had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it, I bet you would’ve done the same,” I sang under my breath as the lyrics from The Cell Block Tango started to appear in my mind.
Silence followed by a “come with me” was their only response as they pulled me out of the house and into their car. My neighbors, not knowing what I had done, stared at me in wonder.