Most people have seen people dancing in pointe shoes or “the shoes that you dance on your tip toes” at some point in their life. Whether you are forced to go to a ballet or maybe you have a sibling or friend in ballet, you have probably seen these little torture devices before. These shoes that people dance in have even appeared in famous paintings and such because they are seen as a thing of beauty, but it is almost ironic considering what they put you through.

            The first thing that sets apart pointe shoes from a thing of beauty is that not just anyone can have them. In the dance world, pointe shoes are something that you work toward for most of your dance career depending on how good you are. Most girls are given them at the age of around twelve to fourteen. This is because you must undergo intensive training to have strong enough muscles in your feet. Around twelve to fourteen is usually when those muscles are at a good point if you have been dancing your whole life. Walking into the studio preparing to spend hours training and building muscle and hoping that I could pass evaluations and be given these shoes was a regular occurrence for me. I walk into the studio saying hi to all my best friends knowing that we're about to go through some intense training but we're going to go through it together. Now, I don't think I've ever done more calf raises in my life than this training week for pointe shoes. I guess calf raises work one of the main muscle groups that you need in order to safely wear point shoes, but let's just say they are not my friend anymore after this training.

            The next thing that makes these certain shoes not so appealing is the process once you are able to get them. Breaking in these torture devices just to your liking is a process that not even professionals have mastered. You want your shoe to fit just right so you do what you can. These processes can include things like beating your shoe on the ground as hard as you can, so they don’t sound as loud when you land doing leaps and jumps. I had been waiting for years to feel my first pair of pointe shoes and the sensation of finally making it to having them felt strange but in a good way. The smooth silky shoe felt like a prize. The shoes felt stiffer in my hand than I had envisioned. This is the beginning of when I realized I was in for a ride with these shoes. One of the first steps is breaking the shank. I bent the shoe in my hands as hard as I could folding it in half. Listening to it crack made me question if I was destroying the shoe but it really was necessary. Now some people like to get very creative and cut certain parts of the shoe out or sew certain parts in but I hardly knew what any of that meant for me and how the shoe would fit me, so I decided we're going to stick to the basics. Now came one of the hardest parts for me which was sewing on the ribbons and elastics. This wasn't too challenging for most people but sewing was not something that was very popular in my family and definitely not for my mother and me. I realized I was basically on my own for this one. Trying to measure and figure out exactly where to sew in each ribbon and elastic was a challenge. My sewing really turned into a wad of string that was tangled up but luckily my friends were able to help. Once I got the shoes all prepped now it's time to prep your feet as weird as it sounds. I put in some spacers in between my toes and a tow pouch which is really all that it sounds like to protect my toes. Some people like to get fancy and put things like sheep's wool in their shoes, but I didn't see that fitting for me. Now it was finally time for me to test these bad boys out.

            I had stood in pointe shoes before but never ones that were customized to fit me. This was something I had been looking forward to my whole life it seemed like and wasn't quite worth it I’m not sure. My friends and I were all in the same situation where we could stand up holding the barre but that was about it. I guess dancing on pointe shoes was something I thought would come more naturally. Little did I know this was a long few years of work ahead. Looking in the mirror I felt so grown up I thought I finally looked like all the older girls. I mean I didn't really know how to dance in them quite yet but hey I got the shoes.

Another thing that sets these shoes far from beauty and more as a sort of torture device is the aftermath of wearing the shoe I soon discovered. Taking off these shoes after dancing in them for hours with bumps and blisters and bruises all over was something that I wasn't quite as prepared for as I thought I was. If you really think about it dancing on the very tips of your toes can't feel good. No matter how much strength you've built up, having to support yourself from just muscles in your feet is going to hurt. having friends having skin blistering and ripping and then it happening to me made me realize maybe these shoes aren't so great after all. I mean they are fun and look pretty, but they're not quite as glamorous as they're made to look like. When you think about a ballerina you probably picture her wearing pointe shoes, looking like a little perfect light dancer. In reality, behind the smiles and dancing, there is a lot of hard work and literal blood sweat, and tears. Feeling my skin get blisters from the first time wearing these shoes was not my top favorite thing in the world. I mean I had heard some horror stories of girls having to get their toes amputated so I guess I was just feeling lucky to have all of my toes after the first day. maybe having pointe shoes isn't as glamorous as I was hoping but it was just about as rewarding as I thought it would be.