Have you ever noticed how people eat? It's bizarre that they're are so many different ways that one can go about with food in front of them. It's so primal, it's the fuel that keeps our bodies running, if the tank gets empty, you stop and die. Oh, and I'm not talking about men. We males are by far the simpler of the genders; scarfing down almost anything, immediately looking forward to the next snack or meal. It's our opposites that on the most part, account for all the trouble and classification. This isn't just the one meal with her on a date and and it's over. No. These particular types of eating habits at an early level will be seen to the end, so save yourself the misery and frustration, and make sure you find a girl that's perfect when you sit down to eat.

What may I get for you?

“Just water.” What? We're eating. My message said “let's grab some food tonight” not
“let's grab some free waters”. This type of girl is apparent everywhere these days, when it comes to eating, you can notice how they don't. Right off the bat, dinner date is ruined and now you're sitting there chomping away awkwardly while she sits there looking over her glass. This is one of the most frustrating examples, because the reasons are all over the map. Insecure to eat in front of me? Doesn't want someone spending money on her? A piece of toast is enough for all day? Whatever it may be, inquiring about this subject will always lead to a clear lie, or an uncomfortable truth. From then on out restaurants are off limit, and no matter how many compliments or assurances are given, you can be sure nothing will change. What can you not swallow about such a simple concept? Avoid these women, because someone who doesn't come close to meeting their basic need of food is living an unhealthy lifestyle which in result you'll have to deal with.

How is Everything?
“The meat is just really chewy, and the lettuce is flat, like…like, I'm not liking the meat.” I ordered the same thing and mine is great, and first of all, you chose spinach not lettuce. So no wonder it's flat. Welcome to every meal with a girl who is a picky eater. Nothing on this planet is satisfactory for her, and the complaints will always be heard. As the employee remakes her salad, and drink, and pancakes, and omelette, and pazooki, you're stuck with this salty snob trying to force conversation while those around you just heard her ridiculous raging rant. The disapproving looks are everywhere, and all I can think of while observing these women is that this behavior applies to so much more, and how sorry I feel for the guy. Christmas, birthday, Valentine's Day, anniversaries, anything this guy will do or give will not be good enough. Yeah he might see her well rehearsed fake smile and cliché tippy-toed hug, but like every other gift he'll soon find out she doesn’t use or wear what he got. A girl like this will at least eat and knows what she likes, which is a step ahead of a non-eater, but if you're committed, you better get used to her endless complaining and selfish snobbery.

What are You Going to Get?
“I was hoping we could split it.” Oh no she didn't. You waited all day to get your paws on
the largest juiciest burger with a side of crispy fries that you dreamt of during third hour, and here she plans on sharing it with you. I didn't ask for help, I can polish it all of myself thank you very much. No matter what is thought within the few seconds of being in line, enjoy the pestering leach slurping down your shake and thieving on your basket of fries that you assumed would all be yours. So careless. So selfish. So inconsiderate. As your meal depletes rapidly, all that you can think of is how you won't be letting this atrocity happen again. This female vulture will continue to swoop in on your food out of habit and like the gentleman we are, hundreds of years of chivalry are instilled upon us knowing better to interfere with something so petty despite the pain it yields. Now that you know your girls habits, keep her and have dates afterwards waned by her incessantness, or cast her back fishing for greatness.

Where would You Like to Eat?

“Let's go to Pei Wei!” Yes! I love Pei Wei. And now that I think about it, she actually
made a decision! Not the typical “you choose” or “whatever you'd like” mindless answers like the rest. Someone who's opinionated, someone who's not intimidated, someone who knows the right from the wrong. Did she read this enlightening essay? Never mind, brilliance lies in front of me and the extraordinary perfect girl is found. From ordering the meal, to eating, to the conversation throughout the night, nothing could have been any better. By the time we walked our separate ways I was already anticipating the next date, looking forward to getting to know her even more and for once, the consideration of having something serious came in to view. The only distraction of the night was how she was so different from the majority. This gems characteristics could be seen beyond the table, a girl who had confidence, maturity, manners, tolerance, and intellect. From just the one night alone, the perfect girl without the eating flaw has just been witnessed and a relationship with this dime will be fine every time you dine.