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Finding My Voice
I remember the very first day of my freshman year of high school. I was so nervous, and all I could think about was what I was going to wear. Whenever I look back to that day, I still can’t believe that was my biggest concern. It just seems so inconsequential. So unimportant.
You see, I thought that the kids in high school were going to be so different from middle school. But they weren’t. Everyone already had their cliques, and people weren’t exactly looking to expand them. It was okay though, I thought I could still fit in somewhere. However, in the high school world I had a fatal flaw. I was shy and polite.
I pretty much got along with most people. But there were the few who just didn’t like me. They would tease me about how quiet I was, and tell me I had no backbone. People would laugh at me when I would walk by in the halls. They would make loud jokes at my expense in front of the entire class. I couldn’t believe people would bully me for being… nice? I didn’t feel comfortable at school anymore. I felt like I was alone and I started trying to change myself. But in the end I realized that I didn’t want to be like them. I didn’t ever want to be the one making fun of others or excluding people because of a “clique.” I wanted to be me; that was all.
I ended up becoming home-schooled, and for some reason I feel more comfortable with myself now. Whenever I go out in public, I’m not that shy anymore. I have a voice. I think it just took getting away from the bullies for me to find it.
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