I switched off my phone. I looked around. Grandma had slept. I walked slowly towards the door. I walked out and closed the door behind me. I walked up to the couch. The world seemed to be upside down. My head wasn’t in its place. I sat on the couch. I brought my knees close to my chest and buried my head in my legs and started crying. I couldn’t stop myself.
How? Why?
I found no answer.
How could everything change so fast? Why me? What had happened to us? What wrong had I done?
It depressed me not to know the answer. I cried and cried.
I needed someone. But who?
My friends were away from me. We were having summer break and everyone had gone to their home towns. I was at my grandmother’s. I needed to tell someone how I felt. My brother is seven years elder to me. I had never been close to him, perhaps because of the age difference between us. Mom always told me to talk to her but I felt as though she would never understand me. I was born into an Indian family. Indian parents don’t embrace the idea of teenage relationships. How could I tell my family about this?
I had to tell my brother. He was my only option.
I went to his room and stood outside the door for ten minutes. Finally I opened the door. I stood holding the knob like a clueless person. He kept asking me what I wanted. I had no answer. I closed the door behind me and started crying again. I sat on his bed next to him. He put his hand on mine.
‘Anything wrong?’ he asked?
‘It’s a boy’ I said.
I then spent a long time telling him about how my sweet and amazing relationship turned into a nightmare.

We had started out like every teen relationship does. The school knew about us. Everyone knew what we had. Soon, everyone envied me. Everyone wanted what I had. He gave me expensive gifts. He would wink at me in school hallways. I blushed on his name. He was like a best friend. I told him everything of my life. I shared every little secret with him.
But soon I realized, that was all just an act.
Four months after being together, it all just changed.
He wasn’t him anymore.
He started insulting me. At first, it seemed normal. But then, it got weirder and weirder. I was a good student. I had very good academic performance, unlike him. He always called me a “good for nothing nerd”. He made fun of me. He started calling me a b****.
I was not allowed to wear certain dresses. If I looked pretty in a dress, he’d say ‘you look too pretty. I don’t want you to look this pretty in front of people. Don’t wear this again.’ Eventually, he ruled out half of my closet as “too exposing”. I had to consult him every time I wanted to buy a new dress. I wasn’t allowed to talk to any boy, even my brothers. Once I had to go to a movie with my brother and our friends and he created a huge drama for it. Later he made me feel guilty about disobeying him. I wasn’t allowed to smile at any boy in my school. He would beat up any boy who even looked at me. He even started deciding who my best friend would be and what I would talk with them.
He would allow me to spend time with family. He would call me up after every two minutes making sure I was not around any boy.
If I wanted to go out in the weekend with my parents, he would make me feel bad about leaving me alone.
I wasn’t allowed to watch movies or swim or do anything I loved to do.
And if I ever dared to oppose him, he would insult me. He would slit his wrist if I said no to his orders. He always said he was ordering me to do things that were for my own good.
I stopped opposing him at all.
Soon, I was his puppet. I moved according to his wish. I was no longer me. I never flashed my smile at strangers anymore. I was always dull. I had dark circles. I had cuts all over my legs and blades all over my room. I stopped studying and sleeping. I stopped swimming. I stopped dancing at music. I stopped being weird. I stopped being ME.
And then came the summer break.
I came far away from him.
He kept texting me every second. And if I didn’t get time to reply to him, he would start thinking that I was cheating on him.
One day I woke up and looked at the mirror.
Who was I?
Where was that weird smile of mine? Where were my sparkling eyes? Why were my eyes tired? Why were my cheekbones in? This girl in the mirror wasn’t me.
I wanted myself back.
I stopped talking to him. I found every silly excuse to tell him that I was busy. I would keep my phone switched off.
How long was I going to lie?
I decided to end it.
I texted him a long message explaining why I broke up.
he kept saying my reasons weren’t good enough. His friends convinced him that I had found someone else. He threatened me to get back with him. He photoshopped pictures of mine and made them look like I was posing naked. He made up a story about how I had lost my virginity to him. He swore he’d reveal all this to my parents if I didn’t get back with him.

I looked up at my brother. He had tears in his eyes. He hugged me and I curled up next to him. I kept crying until I felt better.
My brother told me he’d solve everything if I promised to study well. I agreed. He talked to my parents about it. My mom came to me and hugged me. She said she was proud that I told them the truth.
Since then, I have given my phone to my parents. I have deactivated my accounts on social networking sites. I have stopped talking to him. He does mail me with threats but I delete those mails. It is hard for me because I see him in school every day. But my parents have promised to let me study with my brother from next year. Saying yes to everything he told me was my worst mistake.
But I am glad this happened to me. Ever since the incident, I have been closer to my family. My brother has become very close to me. I tell him a lot of stuffs. He gives me ice cream treats. He loves me and I love him. My mom understands what I have been through and makes sure I feel better. She never blames me for what happened. My brother and dad keep saying they’d kill him if he touches me. I am glad I have such a supportive family.
I know that my family is here to stay even if everyone goes away.