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fighting against madness within
Her foot slipped and she began to fall. She wasn't falling in a literal sense. She was falling into the deep abyss of her very own mind. She was falling blindly, endlessly, into the dark sea that dwelled within her head. The side she has gotten used to. The side that desperately told her to stop, to give up. So why didn't she? Why didn't she just stop and give up when her mind told her desperately to do so? Why couldn't she end the madness she had begun? Because in truth, the madness is the only thing keeping her alive. The madness is the only thing she has left. The only grip of hope she upholds. Knowing the fact that she, like many more, is begging herself to give in, for her to stop trying and give up, that’s why she is still moving. That’s why she deals with the madness. Because if she stops… she loses… she loses the fight she has been trying so hard to win in the beginning. This battle isn't a normal one… it never was. She wasn't battling against a great warrior of the sea or the monsters under the bed like in her story books. She was fighting the monsters in her own mind. And in place of a sword and shield, she fights with the small amount of sanity left in her life. She fights with happy memories buried underneath the sad ones. On the other side, the madness is fighting with the words that break her heart, all the pain she upholds, every regret in her life, and every time she felt failure in her heart. But the worst part of all is that "SHE" is not a specific person. It is just one of the 20% of the teen population that are going through depression and bullying in the world today. 'SHE" could be the girl you sit next to in your math class. Or the new waitress at the restaurant down the street. 19.3% of those "SHE's" seriously consider suicide, and 14.5% of those high school "SHE's" make plans for suicide. Achieving this level of hurt is 50% feelings, 50% actions, and 100% preventable. If you happen to be one of those "SHE's" reading this, you may not know it, but people DO care, life WILL get better, some days are going to be difficult, but that just means that the world is planning a special day where everything seems better than normal. The day you smile again, the day that you find your place... it’s coming soon. I PROMISE. So don’t leave before it gets here. You have to pinky promise me that you will wait for things to get better! Once it does, you will finally see how amazing life really is. I’m waiting for you on the Good side of life.
Sincerely, A former "SHE" <3
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