I attended public school up through my first year of High School. My first year in HIgh School I was in a very large, very crowded school with about 2,400 students at the time from grades nine through twelve. Throughout the entire year, I struggled socially. Making friends, especially friendships with someone I could truly call a friend, was nearly impossible. I can say my social life in school strongly lacked in friendships, if there were any. The school is absolutely huge, with about 2,400 students from grades nine through twelve. Lunch was split into two periods, with about half of the student body eating lunch at a time. The cafeteria was fairly large, and there were also a few court yards students could choose to occupy during lunch. During the other half of the lunch period, students could choose to see teachers for extra help or tutoring. Considering that the cafeteria was incredibly crowded, it was a hotspot for drama, especially bullying. For some, the lunch line seemed almsot convenient to find someone to pick on as everyone who enters the lunch line would be there for several minutes, easily up to ten, sometimes fifteen minutes. During lunch, It wasn't unusual for me to hop into the lunch line around the same time, and each time i did, hapen to be in close proximity to a few particular people almost every time. I was often in line near a couple of girls, both very tall, around 5'8 or 5'9 in height and had dark complexion. Both girls wre dressed to the nines and complete makeup. aFter a while, for a few days in the lunch line, the same particular girls decided it would be amusing to pick on me. If I so much as looed at them, they would laugh. I wouldn't continue to stare at them, but they would continue to ridicule me for "something being wrong with my eyes." For some odd reason, this served to be very funny to them. I didn't appreciate it too much. As far as I was concerned, there was nothing up with my eyes. The only thing close to being wrong wit them was the lack of eye contact straight into their face, and even then that is not an eye problem-it is part of my Autism. It was embarrassing and confusing and considering I was stuck in ine for several minutes wiht them, there was no escaping them for several minutes.

At the same time, I was also fiding it difficult to make and keep friends. There was one individual I ever made friends with, and even then it wasn't a true friendship. It was a toxic relationship. I was a friend to her, and she was never a friend to me. I couldn't lean on her shoulder for anything and I was often lied to, and as a result, my trust betrayed.

Lacking any sort of social life in school, I turned to the barn for friends. Not human friends of course; horses. Horses are non-judgemental; they don't care how you look, how you sound, or how you are put together-they only care about their relationship with you, particularly how they are treated. They are also forgiving of mistakes. I have not known one horse in my life who will retaliate for anything doen wrong in the saddle, and if anything ever happens, it is almost never the horse's fault, but they will never put fault on you either. They possess a good memory and will remember how you treat them, but they will forgive errors you make as you earn and grow as a rider. I didn not have particularly positive relationships with my peers in school; I had not made any friendships with anybody. To be able to walk into the barn and be welcomed by creatures ten times my size was heart warming and confidence building. I wasn't particularly great at fostering relationships and communicating with my peers, but i could leave all of that behind and communicate with a 1200 lb animal without a word.