Bullying that starts young, around middle school, can affect the victim for a lifetime. Emotional bullying affects the victim mentally and their identity feels threatened to the point where their self confidence is shot. They start to drop out of activities and participate less and less in school events and group activities because they feel like easy targets when put in social situations. When they drop out of activities they’re missing chances to have fun and make memories.

People who get bullied tend to avoid situations that put them in the position to be mocked and picked on, like pep rallies and assemblies. Dr. Mark Dombeck, a clinical psychologist, says that the wounded self-concept developed by the victims pushes them out of participation and just plain attendance in school. People will skip school to get away from their bullies and therefore become less socially active and avoid anything that requires them to be in the public eye. When someone’s identity is damaged they start to see themselves as weak and pathetic and won’t let themselves stand out in a crowd, even within a group, because they don’t want to make a fool of themselves(1). This comes from the self-esteem issues that bullying gives someone, which teenagers tend to mold around one proud aspect of their life. If a teen focuses all his positive thoughts on his friends and how well liked he is, the moment someone bullies his sociability his self-esteem and participation will drop.(2)

Bullying is something that people have been trying to get under control and stop but since that doesn’t seem to do anything and bullying is now called a “natural” human act, people have started to make excuses for it like that it “builds character” in the victim but all it really does is hurt them more. Some people are able to control how the bullying affects them mentally. If they can perceive what their bullies are doing to them and somehow get away from it they wouldn’t suffer as many negative long term effects. If someone being bullied can also control how they react to the bully by believing less in what the bully says it will strengthen their self-esteem and is a great step forward for their sociability. 

If some upperclassmen who are already used to how high school works and aren’t afraid to get involved could go help eighth graders gain some confidence about entering high school and they could get more motivation to actually participate. The upperclassmen could provide advice on how to make the best of high school and get through the tough times while also having fun so the concept seems less intimidating. If the younger teens see their older peers with positive attitudes and inviting demeanors they might be more willing to join clubs and participate in “silly” activities. The big thing that scares teens away from participating is the fear of being mocked because the tasks seem silly and dumb, but if they saw that others had good attitudes about it and were making memories from it they’ll hopefully try to get more involved themselves.

The lack of motivation and participation seen in teenagers is due to the absence of self confidence and identity which is taken away when they are bullied. If we can help get them more involved and encouraged for high school maybe teenagers would stop shying from the activities that are there to help them make memories.